Larry, I have a warped sense of humor. That being said:
The new model tractor that has just been introduced: Has no seat or steering wheel. For the farmer who's lost his butt and doesn't know which way to turn.
Be careful - I almost got whupped once telling that joke. By the way - I originally heard it from another farmer.
Another story told by a friend who pulled his J Deere next to his neighbor's Ford. Neighbor's battery needed a jump. He told neighbor, "Now step back - this Deere's liable to whip this Ford all over the yard."
Know why farmer's hat bills are curved? It's from looking in the mailbox for a government check.
Tell these at your own risk. . . They work best if you can tell them about a well known, good natured local guy who is in the crowd.
As I said about the first one, some folks won't find any humor in them, and might even take offense. I didn't know at the time, but the guy that I offended with the first story about the no seat/steering wheel tractor was on the verge of losing his place. He later looked me up and apologized, and after he explained his situation, I apologized to him also. We remain friends.
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Today's Featured Article - Measuring with Calipers - by Staff. The legs of inside calipers are curved outward at the extremities to facilitate measuring small holes, while outside caliper legs have a large curve inward to increase their capacity for large work. Firm-joint calipers are adjusted approximately by the hands and then set to the feel of the work by tapping them on a metal surface. It is a common practice when opening calipers by this means to tap the top of the joint. It is better, if possible, to tap the inside of the legs, as repeated blo
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