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Re: I'm Really In Too Deep Again


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Posted by Hal (WA) on January 03, 2008 at 18:32:33 from (66.45.175.118):

In Reply to: I'm Really In Too Deep Again posted by in-too-deep on January 03, 2008 at 16:07:24:

18 and 20 seems pretty young, but lots of folks I know got married at about that age, and for some of them it worked out OK, or even really good. I guess part of it is how mature you BOTH are. I sure wasn't ready for marriage or even a long term relationship with one girl at your age, I was really enjoying getting to know lots of them and having fun. But we are all different.

While there may be other ways to get involved in farming, the 3 ways most people I know accomplished it were: inheriting a farming operation, or marrying a gal that would inherit a farming operation, or somehow coming up with a huge amount of money and buying or building a farming operation. The first and third options were not going to happen for me, but I thought for awhile that I might end up marrying the daughter of one of the biggest local farmers. But for various reasons, probably mostly my immaturity, she quit going with me and a couple of years later married another guy. And as it happened that guy had no interest at all in farming...so the farm ended up going to her cousin. Oh well! She was a nice gal and I think it could have worked out fine for us, but somehow the timing was not just right.

You probably need to find out if this young lady actually is the owner of the property, or if the owners are other family members or even if it might be leased. If she owns the ground and the operation, she is WAAAAAAAAAAY ahead of most anyone her age in net worth.

But money is far from everything. It sounds like she is a very responsible young lady, with a great work ethic. I guess the main thing is if you can get along well enough to succeed at a ltr or maybe marriage. Some people mesh, and some others just grind gears. Life sure is a lot happier if you find someone that you can love and respect, but most of all get along with.

I didn't notice you saying much about her looks. In my dating years, I went out with some gals that were extremely good looking. And often those gals were very aware of their beauty and were actually pretty snotty and stuck up. The gal I finally married is not bad looking, but it was her sparkling personality that caused me to choose her. Personality is everything...at least in my opinion. And beauty changes as you get older. Some people get worse looking and some get better looking.

It sure sounds like she is in a position where she really needs some help that maybe you could provide. You are both very young, but this could be the opportunity of your life.

If I were your age and had a similar chance, I would figure out a way to pursue the situation. Just how to do this would depend on what you both want to do. A pretty safe way to start would be to ask her if she wants you to move up to her area for awhile to see how things go. But handle yourself as a gentleman, and don't give the locals anything to gossip about--this is her community, with her family in it. Then treat her well and work hard. If it is meant to be, it will work; if not, you at least will have tried. But take it slow and really get to know eachother.

I wish you the best of luck!


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