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Re: Damn if i do and Damn if I do not.


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Posted by jimg.allentown on February 17, 2016 at 06:21:00 from (108.16.40.179):

In Reply to: Damn if i do and Damn if I do not. posted by Brent Zappe on February 16, 2016 at 20:39:21:

OK, now that you have heard all of the advice from all of those that are not there and do not know the whole situation, I will add my little bit - not necessarily advice.
I went through something similar in my family. Mom was diagnosed with glioblastoma. This is a "rare" brain cancer that is many times worse than Alzheimer's. It wraps itself around and through the brainstem and destroys the victim's mind.
My father was in a similar age bracket - he was just 80. Surprising to the entire family, Dad stepped up and took care of Mom for most of her remaining time. There was a brief stay in a nursing home. This was NOT a good thing!!! Even though this nursing home had great credentials, state certifications, and was supposed to be one of the better ones, shortcomings appeared rapidly.
On one visit, I observed that there were several alarms going off at the nurse's station. They were being ignored while the staff was hanging around laughing and joking. That sent up a red flag in my mind. On that same visit, another situation arose. Mom had to go to the bathroom. She was not allowed to go alone. She buzzed for a nurse. There was no response. After half an hour had passed with no response, Dad went to the nurse's station and demanded attention. Within the week, Mom was back home. From that point, Dad got in-home nursing assistance for the things that he needed help with. At the end, Mom spent the last couple of weeks in hospice care.
From all of this, I learned a few things. Nursing homes are only good as a last resort - when there is no other alternative. Family care with assistance is the best choice for loved ones. Keep in mind who cleaned up our crappy diapers, fed us, and cared for us when we were helpless and kept us safe. We owe them better than warehousing them in a nursing home.


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