Posted by JD Seller on August 20, 2014 at 19:34:42 from (208.126.198.123):
In Reply to: Update on Winnie posted by Waltdavies on August 20, 2014 at 08:42:03:
Walt losing your wife is one of the hardest things to go through in the world. I know what your going through. Lost my first wife at 45.
You will go through stages in your grief. You will be so sad you will cry for the slightest reason. I then got mad at the world myself. Why her and not me.
Then after a time it got better. I still had a hole in my heart that was tough on me. Heck it still is there 19 years later.
Here is some little things that helped me.
Encourage people to talk about your wife. Many will shy away from it as they don't want you to suffer by reminding you of her. Well if your like me you where think of her all of the time anyway. So talking about her was actually a way to share my grief.
DO not allow some one to come in an remove "Her" things. Unless she had mountains of stuff. Wait a while for your grief to settle down to where it is not as sharp of pain. Then sort it yourself. The reason being that there will be things she kept that meant something only to you and her. They maybe "junk" to anyone else.
An example of this would be a worn out pair of woman's leather winter cloves that my first wife kept and I still have. They have holes on top of holes. So why keep them??? Well they where my Christmas gift to her on the first Christmas we where married. We did not have much so we only got each other one thing. I paid $12 for those gloves in 1966. That was a 1/4 of my weekly pay at the feed mill. She wore them for many years. I did know she kept them. She would get them out just to remember our first Christmas together.
So do that yourself. It will make you cry like a baby but it will help you in the long run. Your grief will lessen and the GOOD memories will over ride the pain that your now feeling. So it does get easier.
Email me and I will gladly listen and talk to you anytime you want, day or night.
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