This has really stirred up lots of good discussion.
What I've told my kids, and what I've told my step kids is this: I'm all about mutual respect. Respect me, work with me, do the things you are supposed to do, and I will help you. I will respect you. This is my game. PLAY MY GAME, and it will be very beneficial to you. I will help you throughout your life, whenever you need help, I'll be there. That's the way it is for me and MY parents.
...on the other hand, if you think you're smarter than me, that I'm not worthy of your respect, that I'm a 'square' old man who don't know nothin' about the world today, well, see ya. Don't come to me when it doesn't work out for you. I tried. You didn't listen.
My oldest son is 22, should have stayed in college, but he's a hard worker who has a good job and isn't into anything negative. He had respect issues when he was a teen, and I think if he would have listened to me more then he would have stayed in college and would have a career now and not just s 'job'. But he's a good young man whom I get along with fine. He respects me now, and I'll always be there for him.
My stepson, though - he doesn't like me. Knows a lot more than me. Wouldn't listen. Tries to drive wedges between me and his mother. And he's decending further and further into He!!. Doesn't understand that I would have been there for him, if only he would have respected me. It's not an issue of whether he's my 'son' of 'stepson' - work with me, and I'll help you. Still time for him, if he sincerely wants to turn himself around. But I don't think he wants to yet. He enjoys that weed too much.
Doesn't bother me when someone wants to destroy themselves - but when it affects other people, now I'm pizzed. And it always, without fail, affects others.
P.S. I'm not that old - 41. But feeling older every day!
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