When I was a teenager, eating everything in sight, my dad would tell people, "Ever time his elbow bends his mouth flies open."
When we had our dairy we had a big old holstein who made a mess every time she came into the barn. What's worse, she seemed to keep a case of the scours. One day my brother saw her tail rising, so he got the wheat scoop and positioned himself behind her. She got choked on her dairy ration and coughed. My brother turned green from the top of his head down. Dad told everybody he knew, closing his story with "If he hadn't-a had his mouth open, it woulda hit him right in the face."
If a friend came up to him with the redneck greeting, "Hey, boy", Dad would raise his elbow and say, "Boy? Smell under this arm!" Or, "Boy? Man with a ---- like an ear of corn and you're hollerin' 'boy'?"
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Today's Featured Article - It Can't Be Done! - A Tractor Story - by Neil Campbell. I'll never forget the time back when I was a boy baling hay on our Farm in Big Rapid, Michigan. The most memorable event that took place was a trip up the steepest incline on the farm pulling an old New-Idea baler with a pony-motor for power and a haywagon. I had just talked my Dad into buying an old John Deere B with 6-speeds ahead and I was real proud of it, except it was a little smaller than the Case tractor that we normally
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