Different sayings your Dad would say

37chief

Well-known Member
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California
Sitting in the barber chair today getting a hair cut. I remembered Dad didn't say, you got a hair cut, He would say, you got your ears lowered. Dad has been gone since the 90's Still miss him, and Mom. Stan
 
Used to knock our bedroom door when we were sleepy teenagers and shout "come forth outta there" pause and then "or even come fifth" sure miss that even though we did not think it very humourous at 5.30 am after a night on the town!
LOL...Sam
 
My Dad had two sayings that I remeber well.
If you wanted to do something and Dad didnt want to he would say " Lets not and say we did "
And if you were out with him in the car and he wasnt really doing anything then sight seeing and you asked where we were going he would say
" Up the hens butt to see the egg factory "
 
my dad used to say hard work aint easy,,,but dry bread aint greasy,also he would say a winner never quits and a quiter never wins, I wish I could tell my dad how great he was,I didnt really know till after he was gone,,,,
 
Dad used to use the "I'll give you something to cry about," too. Any time we were supposed to meet he'd say, "If I get there first I'll make an X. If you get there first, you rub it out." He's 94 and still sharp and witty. He asked one of the nurses if he'd be able to drive. "No, you're reflexes are too slow."
"Throw a 20-dollar bill on the bed and see how slow my reflexes are."

Larry
 
My dad would say to me and my brother pretty often "you boys will never live to see 18" well I guess we did I m 60 and bro is 58 now and dad has been gone since 2001 and I sure miss him.
 
"I'll scratch a poor man's a$$ as long as I live." It took a while but I finally figured out what he meant. TDF
 
My dad always use to say," Any car will carry a mans body, it takes a fancy one to carry his head." so true.
 
Dad had his own sawmill bout the same as Lyle has, Well when he went to look at a woods to buy if the trees were big and tall he would say thems some s exy looking trees! nother saying he had was, that gearbox is dryer than a popcorn fart, meaning that it was low on gear oil.
 
Dad would always say, Dont worry about the mule going blind,sit on your a$$ and hold to the line.And when Id do something stupid he woild call me a clabber-head,or use your head to think with not a hat rack

jimmy
 
Dad always said "Boy, get your education so you won't wind up diggin' ditches all your life."
Well, I wound up running a backhoe and a trencher installing underground cable for a electric company for 11 years.
Then I decided I'd get into truckin' and get rich. Yeah right....but at least I ain't diggin' ditches no more.
 
Daylight in the swamp! meant get up! Or run like a scared jackrabbit! I thought of that one just the other day when I jumped a deer fawn when mowing. They can run pretty fast by now and aren't much bigger than a jackrabbit.
 
When I would be fishing for a compliment he would say "you'll make a man before you're mother". I was 16 when I figured that one out.
 
What he used to say is not very politically correct these days. He was a dairy farmer. When speaking of someone really dumb or mentally challenged he would say: When he was born they should have knocked him in the head and sold the milk. I have to agree, I have meant some people that I agree with that saying. Pete
 
As a sewer and water contractor, township trustee and part time farmer, he had a raft of sayings. There's one I'm still trying to prove him wrong on because it sounds so mean is "You can't be nice to people". He was against the lending of equipment, so my brother and I were in a constant state of fear every time we snuck a machine down the road to help a girlfriend or something. My brother got busted when a hose broke on the 4500 while burying girlfriend's horse. He caught heck for it, girlfriend's father refused to buy hose, oil, or fuel. Today, I wish I had a dime for every landscaper who told me they use 2000 cubic yards of topsoil every season, and want a discount price. After they get the discount, they get 50 yards. Another guy wanted me to haul a pile of dirt somewhere, I gave him a price of 2200.00 for a truck and a track loader. "Let's make it 2000.00 cash" he says, and I go for it. I got the job done in a day, and took nearly a month to get the money. Yes, I'm a sap, and my Dad's still proving it from the grave.
 
When we would tell my dad to hurry up.He would say. That place ain't going anywhere,it will be there when we get there.
If you disagreed with him about doing something. It was. What did I say.

He had a real annoying habit. He would be driving down the road with his window down. It could be 20 degrees with sleet pouring down. Window down and heater going full blast. Said we needed fresh air. Summer time window down AC ( if we had it)going full blast. If he hit 50 mph it was major news around town.
 
When dad caught me trying to put something over on him I would hear "I may have been born at night .......but it wasn't last night".

Rick
 
Dad used several that some of you posted. Another he used when things went awry was " well if it ain't one thing, it's two".
 
Take your time but keep up.

If you forgot something He would say, If you have"
nt got it in your head you got it in your feet.
 
Dad loved to quote His Uncle "I wish we were born a little more richer instead of so good looking".
Ron
 
not dad but the guy i learned the masonry trade from. do farts have lumps. then i think i just ---- my pants
 
When i had been out, he would get me up regular time, say " I didnt tell you when to go to bed, just when to get up" 86 and still giving me advice, like it a lot more now :)
 
My Grandpa would say 'Rears and Soebuck' instead of Sears.
When something was easy he would say 'like shooting fish in a barrell'!
 
Hair cut = get'n your ears lowered

Hard rain = turd floater

Fart = uh oh, my buts a leaking again

Dumb person = doctor musta spanked the wrong end when that one was born

There are more, but we will just leave it at that...
 
Going over a plan in the Army with a Sargent and the plan wasn't going to work he'd say "That dog won't hunt"
 
(quoted from post at 14:21:58 07/14/12) "I ought to kick a lung out of you"

When I was young my Dad got mad at me and told me he was going to kick my a## up between my shoulders so I would have to take off my shirt to sh##.

Ken
 
When I was getting ready to work on something, my Dad used to say "Get your A$$ behind you son!"
In other words, get in a position to make the most of your strength and agility.
That is good advice and I still use it today.
 
When I was about 10, I spent time at Grandpa house, painting for two weeks. He would ask me to go to the house and go to the bathroom for him. And I would. Many years later, I remembered this and realize he just wanted me to go away so he would not be setting a bad example for me. He would also say that, I would be a man before my mother.
SDE
 
Dad was a carpenter - built houses. I worked for him a lot as a lad and sometimes the home owner would come by to see the progress and dad would quietly say to me "Look sweaty."
 
Yep, Dad's wake-up call up the stairs was "Light a runnin', its daylight in the swamp." Sometimes it was "rise and shine", but it was always daylight in the swamp. Even at 6 AM in December, when you couldn't see your hand in front of your face.
 
When my Dad got mad at me he would tell me "You can be replaced by two pushes of a button and a billy goat!"
A fart normally brought "Speak again oh toothless one"
 
My father was a retired Master Sgt. When I screwed up someway he would say " Boy, you pull that sh*t again and I'm gonna raise 2 dollars worth of 'nickle knots' on your head." I never crossed him bad enough to learn exactly what a 'nickle knot' was. He's been gone about 5 years now and I sure miss him.
 
Grand Dad always would ask me if my truck's power steering quit when my girl friend would ride next to me.

He had a whole bunch of others but the where not PC correct and would not be repeatable on here.
 
My Dad always said, "If a job is worth doing, it"s worth doing well", and that"s guided me my whole life. It got me in trouble a few times in my professonal career, but it always proved to be true.
 
We didn't always get along, but the best times my dad and I had together was when we were building something on the ranch. No matter what it was, if he liked it, he would say it was "horse high, hog tight, and bull stout". I thank him for teaching me the pride of doing a good job - whether anyone else knew it or not. I still think of that saying whenever I'm building or fixing something today.
 
How long you going to farm? "until I run out of money" I thought you were retired. "nope just tired" My uncle said "yesterday I was tired, today I am retired"
 
Thought of another one. When talking about dumb kids he would say "you buy them books and send them to school and they still don't know nothing"
 
My grandpa used to say "He knows about as much about ______ as a p***-ant knows about going to the moon". Also "couldn't pour p*** out of a boot if the directions were on the heel". Something my uncle used a lot was "just for s***s and giggles".
 
I suppose the one that stuck was "if I had done that when I was your age MY DAD would of killed me and you wouldn't be here today"
 
My dad said a bunch of stuff, Like---

Do your homework,
Shut your mouth,
You can never learn anything from talking,
Your hair is too long,
Your hair is too short.....This is after I moved out,

I could never make him happy.
 
Great advice from my dad and uncle...

On Picking women...

"If her ankles look they will hold 300 lbs, some day they will" my fav

"Marry them as skinny as you can, they all get fatter, trust me"

"Whoa, she should have stepped back from the all you can eat buffet"

"She didnt get the ugly stick, she got the whole tree"

On Machinery

"Make sure you lube it, a few drops of oil will save you a $1000"

Dad & uncle were machinists, did a lot of repairs. They taught me to religiously follow lube schedules.

Rick
 
My Dad never SAID it, but since I had to do various chores "his way", I did verbalize it FOR him:

"Why do it the easy way when it works the hard way, too?"

May he rest in peace....
 
You could give that boy a crowbar in the middle of a plowed field, and he'd have it broke before he got to the fence.
Ain't got enough sense to pound sand in a rat hole.
 
When asked where we were going, my Dad would say "up the cat's tail to see the sunrise." I've never quite figured it out. Another , when asked what time it was "it's time for all snakes to crawl, you're belly itchin' ? I just figured that one out this year!
 
My dad used to quote these when he got older and the SD topic was brought up.

When i was young i had to hold him under the bridge railing or i would pee in my face.
Now i have to lay him on the railing or i wet my boots.

I used to be able to poke him trough an oak door,nowadays not even trough a wet news paper.

there were others.
 
When I messed up : Boy you could screw up a 2 car funeral. Anthing fast : Faster than a spotted @SS ape. My dad is 86 and still going strong.
 
When some kid at school would give me trouble he would say"you go back and tell him "The wind blew and the sh!t flew and there stood so and so (the kid)". I would go back and say it and to this day me nor any of the kids have any idea what it meant.
 
My dad always had some colorful sayings on many different topics.

On an engine with little to no power: "Why, that thing wouldn't pull a greasy string out of a sick cat's a**..."

On intelligence: "I was born stupid, and I've lost a little ground every day since then..."

On nervousness: "He's as nervous as a rat on a griddle..."

On happiness: "I'm as happy as if I had my right mind..."

He's been gone almost 21 years, and I really miss his wit and wisdom.
 
one i heard alot "dont just stand there with your mouth open" or after complaining about cleaning something that was going to get dirty again....."why do you wipe your a$$,its just going to get dirty again".
 
just remembered a couple more.

"that thing couldn't pull a wet noodle"
" p*** on the tire and you'll be stuck"
 
My dad would say, What you foget with your head you pay for with your feet. But what I heard most of all was that I had "more luck than sense". Been gone since 2000.
 
My father was one of the world's worst teachers. If I could observe something,(which I did all the time) I was OK. But one thing he did so fast I couldn't see was tie a feed bag. I actually got him to try to show me the miller's knot, but he wouldn't take the time to go through it slowly step-by-step. So, I never got it.
If I made the mistake of not hearing something, and asked him to repeat it, I heard, "I don't like to chew my cabbage twice"
 
Better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.Dads been gone 43 years and I still miss him
 
my dad said a lot of these on here. One his favorites for us boys if we had been out late is "your eyes look like two pi$$ holes in a snowbank". And a lot more not fit for print here. He's been gone 18 years, what I wouldn't give to sit and visit with him again, guarnatee ya I'd spend more time listenin than talkin!
 
When I was a teenager, eating everything in sight, my dad would tell people, "Ever time his elbow bends his mouth flies open."

When we had our dairy we had a big old holstein who made a mess every time she came into the barn. What's worse, she seemed to keep a case of the scours. One day my brother saw her tail rising, so he got the wheat scoop and positioned himself behind her. She got choked on her dairy ration and coughed. My brother turned green from the top of his head down. Dad told everybody he knew, closing his story with "If he hadn't-a had his mouth open, it woulda hit him right in the face."

If a friend came up to him with the redneck greeting, "Hey, boy", Dad would raise his elbow and say, "Boy? Smell under this arm!" Or, "Boy? Man with a ---- like an ear of corn and you're hollerin' 'boy'?"

He had lots more.
 
Dad used to say, "Give a man a little authority and he'll show you how much class he has".
 
My mom had a little variation on that one: wish in one hand & $h!t in the other & see which gets full first.
 
(quoted from post at 20:44:39 07/14/12) Dad used to say, "Give a man a little authority and he'll show you how much class he has".
ow that one has a LOT of truth in it!!!!!
 
kornfused,

You"re the only person I"ve heard of who knew that saying. My Dad used to say it when I was out the night before and looked a little sheepish in the morning.
 
When I was little had to know every time my dad left where he was going. It was always"I"m going to see a man about a horse" to this day when I leave the store the girls in the office ask where you going? My reply "I"m going to see a man about a horse". Dads 80 and doing ok
 
If someone passed gas, he'd say "your voice has changed but your breath still smells the same". Or after a burp, "saves wear & tear on the arshole"
 
Couple of others dad would say.....

If you don't have the time to do it right the first time when in the he** are you going to find time to do it over???????

Dryer than a popcorn fart


When ask where he was going....crazy....want to come along?

Dad passed in 88 while I was an instructor at Ft Knox KY. He never told me he was proud of me.....but every time I was home on leave I would hear it..... your dad was bragging that you were promoted......your dad told me you made expert on the rifle range....ECT....LOL!

DAD....US Army Retired.....31 years....lost his left leg in WWII and stayed on active duty. Retired as a Sergeant Major (E9)......for those who don't know the highest enlisted grade.....I was an SSG (E6) when he passed. WE had a great relationship!

Once when we were arguing about something I yelled "bite my a$$".....couple of minutes later he grabs the hair on the top of my head.....jerks it back and bites me on the cheek........come on you know it's coming.....I yell what in the he** are you doing.....he says what you ask biting yer a$$. I was still an SGT at the time but on my leave ending I got a high and tight flat top so he couldn't grab it again.......kept that hair cut till I retired.

I really miss his humor and advice!
 
I read through the many responses and remember my Dad saying a whole bunch of them. His version of one was "wish in one hand and SPIT in the other and see which one gets full first".

I almost always got along great with my Dad. I was a younger child with 3 quite a bit older siblings who was more or less raised as an only child. My Dad and I spent a lot of time together, usually working on one project or another, and we talked almost constantly. He told me jokes he would never have told in front of my Mother, and always had a lot of advice.

My Dad died 18 years ago, and I would give almost anything to have another day with him...I miss him all the time.

This post was fun. Thanks for the memories!
 
when one of us would start complaining about and unjust situation,most often his reply was don't worry about it, sun don't shine in one dog's end always, found that to be true
 
My Dad has been gone for over sixty years now and I don't think that there has been a day that sometime during that day I haven't thought of him. One of his favorite sayings even back then was "The government would tax the air you breathe if they could only find a way of metering it."
 
My Dad is fond of saying: "I used to have energy left at the end of the day, now I have day left at the end of my energy!"
 
This whoe thread brought tears to my eyes.

I am 1 step away from being admitted to a hospital for my current behavior, but I swear, I't slike most of you knew my dad!

I haven't had this much emotion in a LONG time. Dad, you ARE and will FOREVER BE my hero...
 
"If you say it is impossible you will surely live to rue it.
Some darn fool that don’t know it can’t be done will come along and do it."

Dad has been gone since 1970 but has not been forgotten.

He had a ton of sayings but mostly, what I remember is the way he lived his life and the examples that he set for me. Examples that I felt were important enough that I tried to pass them on to my children.
 
Alot of good ones here but one I didn't read that my Dad would say "that's about as useless as teats (sp) on boar".
 

My parents had a saying they used when something just did not make any sense. The saying was: "That makes as much sense as John Stinks changing his name".

I asked my mom once, what did he change it to? She replied, he changed his name to Charles.

Then, I remember asking why he changed it to Charles because that does not make any sense? She replied, because then John would not stink anymore.
 

When I was 5 or 6, mom,dad,my older brother and I would go to the corn field and hoe corn and each would have a row to hoe. The reason I was there was not because of my hoeing ability. Dad drowned at age 32 and mom moved to town and eventually remarried .My step-dad used to say when someone had some bad luck or hit a rough spell, "boy he has a long row to hoe". Then I would think of the cornfield when I was a kid.
1950..so long ago and then again...
 
4 boys in my faimly and Dad would say" you can't put an old head on young shoulders" Or "you can always tell a boy, But you just can't tell them much" And one of my mothers favorites was when you were wanting somethig "just sit down and let the urge pass" That one will work sometimes. Bruce
 
When I was a lot younger and staying out a lot later than I can even dream of now, my dad used to tell me that "I had my days and nights mixed up".
 
Dad always said about his brother that "he could tear up an anvil with a rubber hammer."
Friend said his dad sat him down as a young man and told him "son, if it has teats or tires, sooner or later its gonna give ya trouble".
bill
 
One more I just remembered: "The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and stick it back in your pocket." Amen.
 

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