I've raised 3 girls to adulthood and have watched countless others (neighbors, relatives, etc) raised as well. Ours turned out pretty good though they're not perfect. They're all college educated, 2 are lawyers from very good law schools (oh, well I DID say they're not perfect, LOL). They've all got a pretty good moral compass, no problems with drugs or such, have great work ethics and are just plain good citizens. When I look at many of those others that have problems of one kind or another, I can honestly say that I saw it coming and told my wife many times that "they're going to have problems with THAT kid".
A lot of that "crystal ball" came from seeing how the parents dealt with them on a daily basis, how they handled problems at school ("my johnny isn't at fault"), how permissive they were ("Susie can stay out as late as she wants"), how many material things they gave them at the drop of a hat, etc.
And in many cases, the kids with problems today spent what I considered to be an inordinate amount of time in front of video games. I am dead-set against them. When our kids would have friends over, they could not believe that we didn't own any. (If they wanted to play a video game, there was Solitaire or Hearts on the computer.) I've got a couple of young relatives now (teen boys) who are struggling in school, yet seem addicted to video games that the parents continue to buy them. Duh!
What did our kids do? They did homework, played sports, rode horses by working at a barn to earn it and above all, they READ. They're voracious readers. We got them library cards early on, included books as presents.
I have always kept my mouth shut and not offered advice to others on how to raise their kids, so don't think I'm trying to tell anyone how to do it. But I think 40 years of observing has shown me in my small circle of relatives & acquaintances what worked and what didn't. And I believe that video games are a big part of "what didn't"
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