OT:Kids today (parents) rant

At the risk of sounding like an old crabby fogey what is up with kids today? the kids driving tractors post got me thinking. My 10 yr old son has a friend over for the night last night, nice enough kid, decent parents. "Make yourself at home"... they played outside some. He proceeds to help himself to beverages, thats fine. Eventually drinks every one of them. Have some snacks... eventually eats 4-5 bags. They watch a movie then at 1:30 am my son nods off and the kid gets on the video game. I said do you stay up late at home? Yeah as late as I want. I said in a few minutes turn it off. We're all in bed he's laughing and ranting at the game his voice at full volume. So in a half hour I tell him to finsh up. In the end he's on it til 3am! I know kids need to have fun and let their hair down and summer is usually the time. But I was raised that when you were a house guest you respected your hosts. Last year (when he was 9) I took him to a friends house for a sleep over. When the kid answered the door I said your mom home.. nope. Your dad home?... nope. Who's home? Just me! These are prominent people, he's a reknown surgeon and she "just MUST help him with his practice". They live in $400k + house. I stayed til the mom got there. I know for some folks both parents working is a necessity but what is with not giving kids ANY structure. I always got up in the morning even if it was to play. I went with him to camp for three days with the school. I never saw so many neurotic, hypchondriac, kids that were unable to cope with life's daily activities.
Most of my daughters classmates sleep til noon or 2 pm. My 16 yr daughter had a boy from her class over a few times, thought she liked him. He freaked out and dumped her because "we sit together as family to eat supper and pray first." And thats weird! And he's the same faith!! At spring break most of her classmates (girls) posted what I would call PG-13 pics of themselves on family trips, clothed, but barely, (all from a Christian school!!).
I'm not down on kids in general but what is happening. I suppose I sound like "Crabby old Mr. Redtom, the jerk". Whew,rant over.

just think, what would these kids do today if [click] all the eletronics were gone....that would a be a good sci-fi flick, welcome to our old world kids.....lol

LOL the Christian things make me laugh. Church up here was sending teens to a "good Christian" camp with much time spent in bible study and with supervision. The number of teen girls that came home from the camp pregnant was astounding! Makes me think they were only teaching that part about "go forth and multiply"!

As far as your sons friend, the parents are in for some hard times when he starts getting in trouble. You can raise some good kids without relying on religion by simply teaching them values, respect and responsibilty.

I'm not anti Christian. I just don't believe in the church and the preacher with his hand out all the time.

Rick

Grow up in the 50's seams like there was always something to do outside, We were always in bed early, and never slep in late in the morning. I hardly ever see kids riding bikes anymore, Only bike riders are 30 something guys riding with their fannies in the air on those skinny seats blocking traffic in packs of 50 or more. I rarely see any kids around. Must be doing computor games? Stan

Stan that's part of it. Another part is the mandatory safety gear the kids have to have these days. A lot of parents just can't afford all that stuff. And if you bother to research it there were not that many kids who were seriously injured per year to justify it. Not really into conspiracy theories but thinking that the companies that make the helmets and pads are behind it. Heck in Mn yer kids falls off a bike and breaks an arm the first thing they ask that kid is were you wearing a helmet? If not the parent is going to be spending some time with social service.

Rick

Well, others have come back in other posts and mentioned something about the good kids that are out there, so I have another story.

We planted a new grove over at my son's place this last spring and we are keeping the ground bare until we can seed the grass in September. The weeds were getting away from us in the 2' area around the trees where we couldn't go with the field cultivator and they needed to be pulled pretty bad. A 16 year old lad from town called my son to see if he had any work for him cause he needed to raise some money so my son had him come pull weeds. My son unfortunately has three herniated disks so this kind of work is out of the question. The first day (yesterday) he pulled weeds for awhile but it was so darned hot and humid my son told him he should maybe give it up for the day and come back this morning. So this morning my son got up at 6:30 and when he looked out the window there was this young lad out there pulling weeds. He'd been there working since 5:00 and he had done a LOT of work. My son and I made sure he was well paid when he got done. This young man was obviously brought up the right way. Jim

I agree. Lack of motivated parents. Single parent homes, for whatever reason have led to large scale apathy in children and parents. Many families are so small these days they don"t sit down to eat together with 2 parents, share the cooking, the dishes, the outdoor chores. My gut feeling is there is not that sense of value for "pitching in", respect for others, teamwork, traditional family values. Parents, sadly often Dads, are replaced by Govt. checks.

The sooner we wake up and put the 10 commandments, prayer back in public schools, and respect for traditional family values, maybe some of our social and economic problems might ease? I for one doubt they will improve without changing what we are presently doing. There seems to be more concern for individual rights, and concern for individuals "self-esteem" than there is for common courtesy. I agree that structure and working together on household chores, helping out around the family farm, or home, would have value in itself in making all children better citizens. Not just idling away their time in front of computers, video games, and a lack of direction from any parents. Unfortunately, I have seen this even in my own nieces and nephews. Sorry this got so long. Just my own $00.02 worth.

I saw Christopher Titus do his new bit on Comedy Central just a few weeks on this very subject. You should see if you can find it. I LOVED it! It dealt with everything you said and a WHOLE bunch more about kids and parents these days.

Kids sleeping in late, past 8am is BS. The parents need to kick them in the rear and get em out of bed.

As far as kids staying home by themselves....In 1950 my dad was 9 years old. On the 1950 new years party my grandparents went to the bar to "celebrate" and my dad (at the age of 9) watched his 7 year old little sister and his 4 year old little sister until his parents got home at 2AM.
Now a days that would constitute drunken abandonment, with jail time. But my dad was a good kid, I am told, and he was very responsible at that age. My dad is now 70. My grandparents have been dead for years. My grandfather was a pilot in WW2 as a Lt. Col. rank too.
As far as video games.....my son loves them, but we are going to put time limits on it, like 4 hours per day or something.

I don't think putting the Tem Commandments back in the schools is gonna have much effect UNTIL and UNLESS they are put back in the HOMES.

We want the schools, apparently, to take on the roles that the PARENTS should be performing...then we cut school funding to boot...and THEN we complain when our kids are turning out the way they are, that the SCHOOLS are the problem. Maybe if American society would MAN UP and PARENTS would TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for how their kids are turning out, and what their kids are or are NOT learning, THEN things would begin to STRAIGHTEN OUT in our society.

If a kid is taught right from wrong AT HOME, and that teaching is reinforced EACH AND EVERY DAY, AT HOME, we wouldn't have to blame the SCHOOLS for what the PARENTS are neglecting to do.

Being from this generation I can honestly say it's probly because there is a serious lack of discipline. If I ever did anything wrong I got my hide tanned. You can tell in high school that there was a lot of em that just got "grounded" which does absolutely nothing. A good smack sets you straight and sure as he$% makes sure you never do it again. Thought I would have to do it to a few kids in high school myself a few times ha

4 or 5 bags of snacks and a bunch of sodas, can't imagine why he was up til 3

(quoted from post at 10:15:24 07/23/11) I don't think putting the Tem Commandments back in the schools is gonna have much effect UNTIL and UNLESS they are put back in the HOMES.

We want the schools, apparently, to take on the roles that the PARENTS should be performing...then we cut school funding to boot...and THEN we complain when our kids are turning out the way they are, that the SCHOOLS are the problem. Maybe if American society would MAN UP and PARENTS would TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for how their kids are turning out, and what their kids are or are NOT learning, THEN things would begin to STRAIGHTEN OUT in our society.

If a kid is taught right from wrong AT HOME, and that teaching is reinforced EACH AND EVERY DAY, AT HOME, we wouldn't have to blame the SCHOOLS for what the PARENTS are neglecting to do.

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LOL we have the ten comandments in our day to day life. US law is based on the British Maga Carta, the basis of common law.....laws that are good for the common people like no stealing, no murder ...ECT.......it is based on the 10 comanments.

However I could not agree with you more on the rest of your comment!

Rick

I just get tired of hearing the parents ragging on the schools, when there usually wouldn't be a problem in the FIRST place if the parents would just do THEIR job and teach these kids some rules and some values. These kids are in school for --what?-- 6 or 7 hours a day. The REST of the time, they're NOT under the influence of the teachers. Parents need to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for teaching values to their kids, and enforcing some rules. Just MAKING rules is worthless, if they're not enforced. Want kids to follow your rules? Then make the punishment something they'll AVOID, rather than something they'll ENDURE just to get their own way in the end.

That's how I tried to raise MY kids, anyway.

Buzz,you hit the nail on the head! Jim

You let him stay on it till three AM. Whose fault is that?

it takes a village to raise a child-----too bad the gov doesn't let you do that anymore.

A lot of people in high paying jobs that require their full attention shouldn't have kids. My brothers common law wife came from Holland and had to work as a nanny for several years before she could get her citizenship. She worked for a couple that both worked in higher paying more professional type jobs that required a lot of their time. If you're going to have kids, they should be your priority.

As for the parents, they walk among us, they reproduce & they vote!

And, you dont know how to unplug a video game at 1:00 AM? And, you cant lay down the law of YOUR household about hogging multiple bags of snacks? To a 10 year old? And, you get on here and rant?
Better look in the mirror at a person who missed a golden oportunity to teach a small lifes lesson to a 10 year bum.
Tom

Parents of today dont RAISE there kids they just let them grow up and then blame society for all there kids problems.

There is a big difference in kids now and twenty years ago and the biggest problem is the same as with cost of medical care and health insurance. It is LAWYERS. No matter what way you think you got wronged there are a half dozen lawyers ready to cozy up with you and tell you to sue that Doctor or divorce that creep. Once a couple if divorced neither parent dares to discipline the kid or the kid will demand to go live with the other, and the courts let the kids decide. Pretty simple isn't it?

Aren't you an adult? Kids will be kids. Let 'em have free reign and you get what you got.

By chance, if YOUR kid went to someone elses house and acted like that, would you go ballistic if they made your child behave?

I am an old fart but when I was a kid I had to behave. I got the razor strap or switch alot of times and when I look back I deserved every bit of the punishment I got and I am glad my parents punished me. My two girls were pretty good. I can't really say I had to punish them but they knew when I spoke I ment what I said.

Our Pastor firmly believes in Spare Not The Rod and I agree.

You're right. And I basically did "pull the plug", because at 3 we laid down the law and made him trun it off. to tell the truth, I did sleep alittle. told him to stop-nodded off, told him to stop... for a few times. I kind of thought he would get the hint. As to the snacks, they aren't toddlers so we weren't in the room monitoring continuosly. So, I'd check, he'd have a soda, back later, another, or is it the same one? Too late, they're all gone. At that age I kind of think I should be able to turn my back for at least a few minutes. I try to "let them have fun" but I don't want to be a crab either. It kinda risky if a kid grows up not just thinking but "knowing" that what he's doing is normal and his friends dad(me) probably won't change it. Does that make sense?

redtom, I kinda had the same problem with my daughter and her friend---speak with their parents and let them know the house rules--most are willing to let you have control of their kids while in your house. my daughters friend broke a house rule and did yardwork for 2 hours as her punishment and the parents were ok with it.she still comes over, but follows the rules.

No, it doesn't take a village to raise a child. It takes a mother and father that are actually involved.

Wife and I raised 7 kids. They all turned out pretty good.

1. We made them responsible for their actions.

2. We made them accountable!

3. We spent time with them.

4. They were our first priority! We spent money on them before ourselves!

Had 2 basic rules in the house. One was a joke. I tolem they were on the 1890 program. Turn 18 and get 90 mins to move out....htats so they had time to pack and no reason to come back......the other....My 4 Ain't rule was no joke!



When you turn 18

1. If you ain't working and contributing.....

2. or if you ain't in school and helping out.....

3. and you ain't following the rules of my house.....

4. YOU AIN'T LIVING HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Takes a village to raise and idiot!

Know a guy with 2 twenty something boys. Both work enough to go to the bars but live at home and do nothing there! Don't help with the bills or anything else! Dad says they are good boys......I told him no one is looking for 20 something boys! They are looking for men! Dad even pays their insurance!

Rick

When I was a kid, born in 43, if it was not raining snowing or below 40 degrees, my ma said you are an outside kid. Get out and play! Work was also suggested very early. My friends never came into my house and usually I did not go in theirs. We had a screen porch that got used a bit for monopoly games. I never felt deprived. Never had pop or chips or ice cream except Sunday. If you were desperate, you picked pop bottles and bought something. If any adult thought you needed supervision, they would generously give it to you. This included chasing and sic their dog on you sometimes. How did we survive? Dave in Delray section of detroit.

I've raised 3 girls to adulthood and have watched countless others (neighbors, relatives, etc) raised as well. Ours turned out pretty good though they're not perfect. They're all college educated, 2 are lawyers from very good law schools (oh, well I DID say they're not perfect, LOL). They've all got a pretty good moral compass, no problems with drugs or such, have great work ethics and are just plain good citizens. When I look at many of those others that have problems of one kind or another, I can honestly say that I saw it coming and told my wife many times that "they're going to have problems with THAT kid".

A lot of that "crystal ball" came from seeing how the parents dealt with them on a daily basis, how they handled problems at school ("my johnny isn't at fault"), how permissive they were ("Susie can stay out as late as she wants"), how many material things they gave them at the drop of a hat, etc.

And in many cases, the kids with problems today spent what I considered to be an inordinate amount of time in front of video games. I am dead-set against them. When our kids would have friends over, they could not believe that we didn't own any. (If they wanted to play a video game, there was Solitaire or Hearts on the computer.) I've got a couple of young relatives now (teen boys) who are struggling in school, yet seem addicted to video games that the parents continue to buy them. Duh!

What did our kids do? They did homework, played sports, rode horses by working at a barn to earn it and above all, they READ. They're voracious readers. We got them library cards early on, included books as presents.

I have always kept my mouth shut and not offered advice to others on how to raise their kids, so don't think I'm trying to tell anyone how to do it. But I think 40 years of observing has shown me in my small circle of relatives & acquaintances what worked and what didn't. And I believe that video games are a big part of "what didn't"