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P and R Pete
01-12-2009 17:52:41
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Re: who here is married to one? in reply to KenCrisman, 01-12-2009 16:37:32
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Ken, there are ways out of this mess. 63 is still young, and you can have a lot of good time ahead of you. Your job right now is to learn that Life can be full, fun, and satisfying even if you are single. That will take some work and effort on your part, and it will involve your family, your friends, your church if you have one, and getting yourself out of the house, to movies, tractor shows, museums, day trips, parks, etc etc. There's a million things out there, but you're probably way out of practice in finding them. It won't be satisfying at first, but it absolutely will get to that place in the long run.
Another piece that will be of immense benefit is to consider getting yourself some professional help with a counselor, and possibly some temporary medicinal help if you're getting crippled with anxiety, can't sleep, or getting clinically depressed, where you can't concentrate, have no energy, can't get interested in anything, getting overwhelmed with guilt, losing weight, or most dangerously, having any suicidal thoughts.
Psychiatry works. Period. End of story. Call your family doctor, or your local mental health clinic, and they will steer you from there.
Be careful that you don't get caught in so-called "wallowing", and by that I mean to put pictures away, get any of her personal things out of the house, stuff like that. You don't need all that 'in your face'.
And 'never say never' about the future. People are inherently social. There are plenty of women in similar situations, looking for a man who is steady and dependable. You won't be able to see that now, because you're hurting too bad. Get yourself back to a semblance of solidity and self-confidence, and you might find yourself getting very surprised.
I'll disagree with plowhand in one minor respect. 'Hating' won't help your healing. It will just keep you bitter. The opposite of Love is not Hate. The opposite is 'Indifference'. When you don't care where she has gone or what she is doing, you will have arrived.
Best wishes, sir.
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