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Redneck Valentine Poem A note of advice..... .if all the husbands and boyfriends would just getdown on one knee and look deep into her eyes and say this poem, it would be something she would never forget!!!!! !!!!! !! I promise~~if it is too long to memorize write it down. A Redneck's Valentine poem Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway. Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can. You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. On special occasions when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms. Still them fellers at work they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe. Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt. When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack. Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'. despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'. Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, we go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way. Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive," I say. Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth. But for this man, honey, these just won't do. Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift,without taste nor odor, More useful than diamonds... it's a new troll'n motor!!
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