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I don't have a clue...

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Bob, IN

03-28-2005 08:02:07

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I just moved from down town NY, I would like to get started in farming some how, do you poeple know wich kind of farming is the best? wich makes the most money? I heard from a freind that I would need a tractor? is that what they are called? is there anything else I would need?
what about animals? any help would be nice.
Bob

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chooch

03-31-2005 08:37:27

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

Bob,IN

I live in southern Indiana. Like Sloroll, I also have an ant farm. Business has been so good lately, we are getting ready to expand. Starting this year, we are also going to raise uncles, grandmas and grandpas.

Chooch

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Jonboy

03-29-2005 10:48:31

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

You might try growing some corn dogs, all you need is some corn dog tree seed and lots of luck. It's a highly specialized process to grow corndogs, but it's actually pretty easy because all you gotta do is pick em and put them in boxes, but you gotta leave part of the limb for the stick. Contact your local seed dealer or extension service for more info on this.

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old fashioned farmer

03-28-2005 20:20:40

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

Howdy,

I'd have to say that your best bet, since you're just starting out, would be to try carpet farming. I've got years of experience in this sometimes forgotten form of farming. It has so many benefits that I really don't see why so few are pursuing it. It is so much cleaner than your common every day agriculture. I haven't seen a day yet when the weather put me behind on my planting or harvesting. My seed bills are pretty much non-existent and fertilizer is not needed. That alone makes it worth all the aches in my knees and back. But the best thing of all is the equipment. I pay hundreds...no, thousands of dollars less than most farmers and I get to work with the most modern models of tractors and machinery out there. It's fantastic. They also tailor equipment to your operation's scale. Say your a medium farmer for instance, you could go with 1:16 scale. You don't need a tractor set up for those great big acreages. You could even set yourself up for an extremely small scale in the 1:64 range. Parts can be a struggle with the machinery but their durability is next to none and they last much longer than normal equipment. I'm also laughing all the way to the bank when it comes to fuel bills. How does zero dollars for fuel sound? Oh yeah, that's my operation. I don't use a drop of gasoline or diesel. Someday, the world's gonna catch up to carpet farmers like myself and then I guess I'll need some of those government handouts that regular farmers have to have in order to pay off their loans for food and water. God bless.

--old fashioned farmer

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aFORDable

03-28-2005 20:10:06

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

Another idea. Raise chicken nuggets. If you can get a contract with McDonalds, you've got it made! Check with your county agent though cause not all breeds have nuggets.

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slim

03-29-2005 04:50:53

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to aFORDable, 03-28-2005 20:10:06

How about boneless chickens? I was in the grocery store last night and they had all this boneless chicken stuff, breasts, thighs, etc. I don"t know how they raise them though. Looks like they would have a hard time walking to the feeder without bones. You might have to contact Colonel Sanders for some advice.

slim

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Larry in CO

03-28-2005 21:51:52

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to aFORDable, 03-28-2005 20:10:06

Ya know, raising those nuggets sounds like a pretty good idea. You don't have to spend any money on fences. Nuggets don't have any bones so they just kinda lay there. You know where they are all the time so at roundup time, they're easy to catch.

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Mike (WA)

03-29-2005 08:16:55

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Larry in CO, 03-28-2005 21:51:52

A little reminiscent of one of my favorite Farside cartoons- Sign over gateway to farm reads "Boneless Chicken Ranch"- chickens are all just flopping around on the ground.

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Tinker

03-28-2005 19:01:52

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

I would suggest raising He##. It don't pay much, but it sure is fun.

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Alvin NE WI

03-28-2005 17:37:44

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

Think I would go visit the local hardware store, get a drill brace and bit, seeing you got a farm now, there should be many telephone and light poles close, drill a hole and put in taps and get the best syurp in the country for free. another option would be to contact the local high school and lease your car for drivers ed for 3 days and the other 2 days for se* education.

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Hound

03-28-2005 17:30:36

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

I'd find some property with some big, huge ravines. With all the fences going up everywhere, should be good money in post holes this spring. Just a thought. Hound

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Hound

03-28-2005 17:34:14

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Hound, 03-28-2005 17:30:36

...come to think of it, you can buy this place lock stock and barrel. I'm moving to town and starting one of them things they call a factory. Gonna make a bundle making motorcycle doors. Gonna have them in every colour possible. Hound

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Galen

03-28-2005 17:17:16

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

First thing ya need to do is git real friendly with a banker, so's ya got enough money to sit in the coffee shop all day and complain about how bad off ya are.

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farmerboybill

03-28-2005 17:12:59

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Try what I'm trying. in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

I'm trying to grow chickens. For three years now, I've been getting 500 chicks every spring. Unfortunately, my egg crop fails because the chickens never make it through the season.

I'm either planting them too close together or too deep.

Anyone have any pointers?

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Mike (WA)

03-28-2005 17:51:43

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Re: Try what I'm trying. in reply to farmerboybill, 03-28-2005 17:12:59

Friend of mine had the same problem- took it up with the Extension Service- after extensive research and field trials (at considerable expense to the State, of course), discovered that he was planting them upside down. He was grabbing them by the tiny little feet, and putting them into the row that way, because it was easier. He eventually purchased an inverter for his chicken planter, and things have gone better since.

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tbair

03-28-2005 16:53:26

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

I'm from NE Indiana. Good pineapple and peanut
tree area.

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aFORDable

03-28-2005 16:37:28

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

I'd recommend about 20 acres of tobacco the first year and then double the second. With 20 acres of tobacco you'll be a full fledged farmer in no time. (ps you also need to learn to chew and spit that way you can recommend your product.) I'd find a good mule instead of a tractor for just 20 acres. To diversify, also put out some cotton. You'll be the envy of us all.

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FESTUS

03-28-2005 15:20:50

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

Dear JIM/BOB from IN.
I have had a lot of success at growing timber on my ground and harvesting knot holes. First you have to get your timber started and wait for that to mature. You will then need to invest in a knot hole picker which you should be able to pick up most any place. Just start asking around. I am sure there are a lot of friendly knot hole farmer's that know where to get the reasonably priced ones. Make sure you get the one with the bale thrower and stacker on it. This saves a lot of work at harvest time and with the price of fuel these days, you don't need extra expense to deal with when it comes tax time. OH ya, you won't need that thing-a-ma-gigy you called a tractor or what ever. If you need help with any of this or have any questions, see your local extension office as that is what your tax money goes for....Regards and best of luck...Your friend ---- FESTUS

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John M

03-28-2005 11:26:34

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

I think what these guys are trying to say is you aint going to make no money farmin'!AT least not anything legal.

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DavidA

03-28-2005 10:45:22

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

I used to have a big box of clues, they were handy to have around from time to time. I think my wife through them out when we got married. I have not had a clue since.

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Indydirtfarmer

03-29-2005 03:00:37

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to DavidA, 03-28-2005 10:45:22

Well, At least I can say I know someone who has a clue about what a clue is... I need one, but obviously don't know what one looks like. My wife tells me I need to get one. Should you have some success growing clues, please post a picture of such. Then maybe I'll have a clue what a clue looks like.

I do know that I must be part fish though. Just moments ago, my wife explained to me that I'm a dum bass.....

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Jack B. Nimble

03-28-2005 10:43:46

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

My friend got paid by the government last year to NOT raise 500 hogs. He did pretty well so this year I am going to NOT raise 1000 hogs, then I should really profit. Plus I can claim all the corn that I did not plant for the 1000 hogs that I did not raise. Boy, finally a way for us farmers to profit!

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RustyFarmall

03-28-2005 10:24:33

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

How about raising spaghetti? You could probably lease the interstate medians from the state you live in, and that ETD tractor would be ideal because it is designed to travel in a straight line.

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RustyFarmall

03-28-2005 10:22:44

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

How about raising spaghetti? You could probably lease the interstate medians from the state you live in, and that ETD tractor would be ideal because it is designed to travel in a straight line.

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Sloroll

03-28-2005 09:30:32

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

I have had great success with my ant farm and fat farm.

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Mike(inWisc.)

03-28-2005 09:17:44

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

You need to go and pay a visit to Mr. Haney.

He has everything you need and will get you set up right.

He has references--just ask Oliver Wendel Douglass and his wife Lisa.

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Loren Coffin

03-28-2005 18:34:41

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Mike, that's the winner! in reply to Mike(inWisc.), 03-28-2005 09:17:44

Got a real good laugh out of it, thank you.

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Davis In SC

03-28-2005 09:17:10

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

Donuts are a profitable crop. Seeds are available in the cereal section at the grocery store. In a box marked Cheerios..... ..

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thurlow

03-28-2005 08:43:15

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

I'd suggest seeing what sells best where you now live; maybe go stand near the checkout at the local Wal-mart and get a sense of what is being bought. Children's clothes and toys are always good. Some of them have been sterilized and germination may be low, plus they may be protected by the seed patent act..... .....

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RustyFarmall

03-28-2005 08:38:13

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

Stick around for awhile, sooner or later a guy that goes by the handle of Akmed will be on here. I think he may just be able to find you a real sweet deal on an Essex Tri-Directional farm tractor and might even be able to include a herd of goats. You will be in business before you know it.

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Coloken

03-28-2005 08:32:33

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

I think that you just might be pulling our leg..but...if you are for real. What you need is a friend that lives there and that you can talk about farming with.

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sammy the RED

03-28-2005 08:19:42

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Bob, IN, 03-28-2005 08:02:07

Bob, Go and visit your local Extenison office and get all the free reading material you can.

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greg@bullough.org

03-28-2005 14:39:52

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to sammy the RED, 03-28-2005 08:19:42

This sounds like a classic sit-com to
me... does your wife have a German
accent and wear evening gowns on the farm?

Is the telephone up the pole?

Does your neighbor have a talking pig?

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Hoosier JD

03-28-2005 18:19:13

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to greg@bullough.org, 03-28-2005 14:39:52

Roundtuits! Nobody has mentioned roundtuits! Big money there...I was gonna raise em, but just never got..... ..... the time to do it.

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Les...fortunate

03-28-2005 18:28:36

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Re: I don't have a clue... in reply to Hoosier JD, 03-28-2005 18:19:13

I've seen some pretty good BS slung over on the Tales board but I gotta tip my hat to you guys. Ain't no slouches among you in that dept! Like they used to say on Hee Haw....
saaaaa aaaLUTE!

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