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Tool Talk Discussion Forum

O/T Dad songs

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Steve Crum

04-19-2006 07:35:39




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I got to thinking today, considering one of my kids graduates this year and the other in 2 years.
When ever a song like 'Cats in the cradle' by Harry Chapin is played, I get the guilt trip. This being due to the fact that I've never had anything handed to me and have always had to work the long and odd hours to support the family so they can flop for hours in front of the TV or set in front of a video game or computer for hours in a warm house or jump in the car and take off for the store or friend's house whenever they please.
But then I'm the SOB whenever some kid talks about fishing or camping or other things that 'normal 9 to 5s Dads do).
What are some other songs relating to this? Artists like Reba McIntire, Emmy Lu Harris and others come to mind.

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A different perspective..

04-20-2006 10:53:53




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Steve Crum, 04-19-2006 07:35:39  
This is not to add to the guilt trip, just my experience. I worked 2 jobs (at times) to provide for the family. Times were tough on occasion. The wife did a good job in my absence. The kids weren't perfect, but were a lot better than some of their friends. I figgered I'll have plenty of time once they grow up and money wasn't as big of an issue. Times got better, worked a "normal" 8-4 job. Kids all graduated H.S., none wanted college. All found decent paying jobs after H.S. One by one they moved out. The wife and I found a place in the country, moved from where the kids grew up. They came over regular, helped us out when needed around our smaller farm. The job got better, pay got better, 2 of the 3 kids found mates. One even had a daughter. Life was very good. On April 26, 2003 at 13:56 my oldest son (26y.o) was pronounced dead from a car accident. My mileage did vary.

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Steve Crum

04-21-2006 05:30:53




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to A different perspective.., 04-20-2006 10:53:53  
My heart goes out to your concerning your son. My Dad had a similar sad story. My father died at the ripe old age of 36 from congestive heart failure before my second birthday. Mom remarried and 'Ted' became Dad to my older sister and I. Mom had 2 more by Ted so I had a half brother and sister. Ted had some turbulent times as his family and particularly his father was not happy that he would marry a 'used woman' and adopt her b**tard step-children. As such he was denied any claims to the farming empire he worked so many hard years to help build. Remember the ghost cane fiasco on fleabay last year? I have the hickory cane that his father nearly beat me into a coma with when I was 6 years old, that was the final straw as far as 'family relations'.
Dad raised my sister and I as his own, as he did my younger brother and sister. I cannot remember a time that I did not work elbow to elbow with Dad right up to the day we buried him. My brother took a different route, went on to college, got a degree, never really pursued anything meaningful, tried to start a couple business's and failed because he didn't see fit to put forth the effort to make them work and essentually lost everything Mom and Dad worked so hard for. Little brother then ended up in some serious legal trouble and took the easy way out. This was almost exactly 2 years to the day before Mom and Dad died, and almost certainly was a major contributor in their rapid decline. Little brother was 34. Now here I am facing down many of the same issues that Dad delt with. I don't know how closely I can compare them as my kids are my kids, and their Mother is still my wife,(rare thing I'm told these days).
I guess having validation that I'm doing the right things, is a fleeting thing. Things are going to turn out like they are going to turn out. We as mere mortals may be able to bend the route a little, but the outcome will likely be the same. An older fellow I work with, kind of filled in for Dad when Dad moved on as far as the wisdom department goes for me. He tells me to do the best I can, but accept that I cannot hope to see every result I want.
Probably the best advice I've gotten.

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730virgil

04-19-2006 19:08:19




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Steve Crum, 04-19-2006 07:35:39  
tall kid's mom my wife passed on when he was 11 1/2 . in the the summer he went to work with me took along books and cassette tapes . i took milk samples for dhia so that worked out kinda okay . he's 21 now seems like is okay . i took him to baseball games about one a year , tractor shows , sprint car races and out to eat . in winter he stayed home when was cold . somehow he knew dad was trying to do what was best for both of us.

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Davis In SC

04-19-2006 18:39:03




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Steve Crum, 04-19-2006 07:35:39  
One kind of sad one, by John Anderson called "Wish I Could Have Been There" about missing things when his kids were growing up, because he was on the road all the time.



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Xragman

04-19-2006 17:56:05




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Steve Crum, 04-19-2006 07:35:39  
The best song in MHO is DADDIES HANDS by Holly Dunn. She says it is autobiografical .



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mbase

04-19-2006 17:22:58




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Steve Crum, 04-19-2006 07:35:39  
Two songs come to mind, know who sang them, can't remember song title though. Reba had a song about a Dad.
Allan Jackson's song about his Dad teaching him to drive a boat, fix up a pick up, and how he teach's his kids to drive a jeep.



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Glenn FitzGerald

04-19-2006 16:06:59




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Steve Crum, 04-19-2006 07:35:39  
I'm not too sure how constructive those songs are. I don't think any dad hears them and is encouraged. Who of us is perfect? It sounds like you have done MANY things right. The Lord does make up the difference. That said, we have taken some rather 'extreme' measures of late....We have SEVERELY limited the use/time allowed for such recreation activities as TV, videos, and video games. It is being met with some resistance, but we're holding our ground. Few kids will choose to climb trees, build forts, work in the shop, develop a hobby, etc. if such graphically appealing options are available. DON'T beat yourself up. Parenting is harder than ever. Every day is a new day, and a new opportunity to work bugs out of the system. The fact that you're thinking about it at all is considerably to your credit. Glenn F.

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Stan in Oly, WA

04-19-2006 13:55:13




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Steve Crum, 04-19-2006 07:35:39  
Hi Steve,

The songs I can think of are going to make you think I've missed your point; they're about relationships between fathers and children (mostly difficult ones), but not about fathers realizing that they've valued the wrong things while raising their families. Also, my background is rock rather than country, as the songs I can think of should make clear.

"My Father's Eyes" by Eric Clapton
"In the Living Years" by Mike and the Mechanics
"Slip Slidin' Away" by Paul Simon
"Papa Was a Rolling Stone" by the Temptations (I never heard the George Michael version)

"In the Living Years" is the most emotional of those songs. If the name doesn't ring a bell, it still might be familar if you heard it. It gets occasional play on soft rock/easy listening/middle of the road type stations.

Stan

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Bus Driver

04-19-2006 13:34:26




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Steve Crum, 04-19-2006 07:35:39  
Get a copy of Gene Autry "That Sliver Haired Daddy of Mine".



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Pooh Bear

04-19-2006 13:27:16




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Steve Crum, 04-19-2006 07:35:39  
There"s a song called "That"s My Job" that I almost cry everytime I hear it. I forget who sings it.
A few years ago for fathers day I made my Dad a CD of "Dad" songs and gave it to him.
It had songs on it like,
Cat"s in the Cradle.
That"s My Job.
Leader of the Band.
Daddy"s Hands
I forget what all else was on it.
But it was kinda of a testament to how I really felt about my dad.
Some things I just cain"t put into words.

Pooh Bear

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Tanklord

04-19-2006 16:50:11




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Pooh Bear, 04-19-2006 13:27:16  
"That's My Job"...I think Conway Twitty sang that.



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Pooh Bear

04-19-2006 20:02:45




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Tanklord, 04-19-2006 16:50:11  
The version by Conway Twitty. That"s it.

Pooh Bear



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Wild Bill

04-19-2006 19:20:10




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Tanklord, 04-19-2006 16:50:11  
"That's My Job" is a John Connelly song



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Bob

04-19-2006 08:05:36




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Steve Crum, 04-19-2006 07:35:39  
Sounds like around here, Steve!

I have a son graduating this year, and one next year.

I always hear (from Mom) how I work too much, and don't "play" enough with my kids. However, the boys and their Mom really like the MONEY I make, though.

A friend (with kids about the same age as mine), finds time to hunt, fish, jetski, snomobile, motorcycle, take trips, etc., etc., and every body thinks he is just the greatest guy and the BEST dad. Funny thing is, though, he does all the stuff I mentioned with his BUDDIES, and NO kids, even his wife is content so sit at home!

One of his sons said he wishes I was his dad... he comes over and I help him with his vehicle, while I'm tuning up my kids' vehicles, and another friend of my boys even calls me Dad, and likes to hang out here, so I guess folks shouldn't judge people by what they perceive!

I don't claim to be good with kids, or that the kids have gained much for life by hanging around here, but if they have vehicle trouble in some out-of the-way place someday, they just MAY get back on the road with some knowledge they've picked up around here! Maybe 1% of the "father and son" talks I have with my boys, when the others are around, about booze, drugs, and respecting women has soaked in, too!

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Stickler

04-28-2006 08:55:29




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 Re: O/T Dad songs in reply to Bob, 04-19-2006 08:05:36  
Kids are funny that way. My own son I lost contact with years ago (his choice), but both my sons-in-law lost their own fathers when they were young and call me dad and look to me as the father figure in their lives. It has brought their wives (my daughters) and I much closer. I have 4 other unmarried daughters, it would be nice if the same happened with them.



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