Most of this is so true, just thought I'd share it with all you guys...
Wisconsin is essentially a series of small towns.
Even the state's largest city, Milwaukee, is really a collection of small-town-like neighborhoods. The only exception is Madison, which George Carlin calls "the third coast," and which a candidate for governor once called "54 square miles surrounded by reality."
Madison is a college town, home to the University of Wisconsin, and there you can eat at restaurants with names most Wisconsinites cannot pronounce. The rest of the state is definitely small-town. Read on, and you'll get the idea...
For those of you from Wisconsin - laugh; for those who are no longer in Wisconsin - reminisce; and for those of you are just lucky enough to know someone from WI, maybe this will help you understand them a bit better.
You know you are in Wisconsin when:
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
"Vacation" means going 'up nort' to Crivitz for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again!
You use a down comforter in the summer - and gloves.
You drive at 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social
events.
You install security lights on your house and garage
and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major food groups as venison, beer,
fish, and berries.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your
girlfriend knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.
Your whole family wears green and gold to church on Sunday
You define summer as three months of bad sledding
Snow tires come standard on all your cars.
You refer to the Packers as "we".
You have gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.
You can identify an Illinois accent.
You learned to drive a tractor before the training
wheels were off your bike.
"Down South" to you means Chicago.
A brat is something you eat.
You have no problem spelling Milwaukee.
You consider Madison exotic.
You got a passport to go to Minnesota.
You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
You can actually pronounce Oconomowoc.
You know what a "bubbler" is.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow or a deer next to your blue spruce.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new
machine shed.
You go out for fish fry every Friday.
You can recognize someone from Illinois from their driving.
You know how to polka.
Formal wear is blue jeans and a baseball cap.
You drink soda and refer to your dad as "pop".
You were unaware there is a legal drinking age.
Your 4th of July Family Picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
You know where Waukesha is AND can pronounce it.
You decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend
You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, New London & Poland all in one afternoon.
You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
You've seen mosquitoes with landing lights.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than on your car.
The local paper covers major headlines on 1 page, but requires 4 pages for sports.
At least twice a year, your kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
You find 0 degrees a little chilly.
You know what to do with a Blatz.
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