I have only been involved with old tractors for a little over a year. The people that I have met are some of the finest, kindest, and most helpful people that I have had the privilege to know. But, in every orchard of good apples, there has to be one that is rotten, and I have found him.Last Saturday, I was happily grading my driveway with my 1950 A-C Model B that I have enjoyed for about a year. As I approached the end of my drive, I noticed a rather portly, bearded gentleman, (later to be referred to as the fat-a**ed, fuzz-faced SOB), in a new, black Lincoln Towncar, watching me intently. I thought that, perhaps, it may be a real estate person or new neighbor from down the road since, on the back roads of NC, we don't get a lot of unintentional visitors. Well, my visitor was Bud N..... (I thought only we red-necks named our young'uns "Bud."), from New Hampshire. He was closely eyeing my tractor and proclaimed that he was an "expert" on A-C restorations, and had been to some tractor auctions in Florida. How I was so unlucky to have crossed his path is beyond me. He proceeded to tell me that my home-made restoration of the A-C was totally inaccurate. From the front of the tractor beginning with the Tractor Supply orange-colored paint, through the home-made 12-volt conversion, through the Monroe seat, to the rear of the tractor ending with the 3-point hitch conversion kit; from the top of the tractor beginning with the Tractor Supply muffler, through the painted, J-B Weld repaired steering wheel, through the flexible rubber fuel line, to the bottom of the tractor ending with the Ford Gray painted rear rims, it was totally wrong. The only thing that apparently is correct about my tractor is the front engine oil seal, and it leaks. In the kindly, hospitable manner taught to me by my mother, I proceeded to tell Mr. N..... that the tractor was for my enjoyment and not for his edification. I admitted that we Southerners are not very smart, but that we are smart enough to put North-bound lanes on our highways, and if he did not want to have his shiny new Lincoln defaced and corrupted by my piece-of-s**t tractor, he should take advantage of one of them. So, if any of you happen to be unfortunate enough to meet of know Mr. N....., please give him my regards. To further insult the breed of A-C tractors, tell him that I am thinking of having the lug-nuts and fuel tank on the tractor chromed and putting a gun-rack behind the seat.
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