My sympathies are with you. Having said that back when I was in my last year of high school I put together a (short) list of girls should I have the chance to date that I needed to be using my brain so as not to get in too deep with because of the potential family dynamic you described. In the end I did not have to worry but at the same time I never got to date any girl off the preferred list, either. Lastly take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. The girls on the "be careful list" all got married at some point so there are some hubbies out there wondering what mess they stepped in the middle of.
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