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O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!!

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phillip d

07-27-2006 17:22:41

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I have a "good friend" and neighbour who i feel sorry for.He has every creditior under the sun who was unlucky enough to lend money to him on his ass.He think nothing of going to a sale and being the big shot and buying whatever he wants only to let his poor wife worry about how it's going to get paid for.He does faviors for us and usually doesn't want paid and we do as many for him as we get a chance to,i.e. giving hay to him when he is running out,lending him equipment to him when he smashed theirs all to he!! and still has lots of silage to put up and so on.Today i overheard him tell someone that i'm too cheap to spend any money on anything any good and only care about the dollars.I do my best to better our farm as much as possible within our means.I may not go out and buy the biggest and most expensive equipment on the go,but it's always in good shape.After all that i try to do to help him out,it's nice to know what he really thinks of me for it.I may try to be carefull with our finances,but at least i pay my _u_k_ng bills.Feeling like i got stabbed in the back,Phill...

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Hard Knocks IV

08-05-2006 03:14:53

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

No good deed ever goes unpunished (LOL)

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coflyboy

07-28-2006 16:38:35

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

I have a simplistic attitude towards people who have stuck it to me one way or another, but then I'm a simpler kind of guy than most I guess. I've learned that I cannot control what others think, say, or do. If they choose to stick it to me, so be it, but it sure as he!! ain't gonna happen twice. My wife's sister stuck it to my wife once for $300.00. In that case it's the cost of doing business with family. But I can guarantee that even this has a one time limit.
Don't let the sob raise your blood pressure, it ain't worth it. You sure as he!! ain't gonna change him.

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phillip d

07-28-2006 16:27:40

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

Thanks for all the support guys.It sure feels good to vent it out to a few ears.You guys are exactly right.I expect to be seeing him in the next few days and i'll make a point to ask him what it is that made big feeling enough to say what he did.I guess sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.phill

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Jak

07-28-2006 10:22:21

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

Its ok Phillip,it will pass.What are friends for?I know some of my so called friends keep thier daggers sharp and shiney.I had one tell me this and that about relationships but funny to me I wasnt the one divorced twice.Next time you see him get dead in his a$$ about it,sometimes thats what you have to do.

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Mike (WA)

07-28-2006 08:05:05

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

There was a thread sometime back- life's great truths, or some such- somebody (Cowman, I think) noted that "If you loan someone 20 bucks and never see him again, it was probably worth it."

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Dachshund

07-28-2006 05:27:31

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

Yup - been there, except it didn't involve money and it was a family member. He had one of theose cell phones that you had to lock the key pad. He'd forget and it called my phone by accident several times. I could hear him in the background badmouthing me and mine to people. Most of the ones he's talked to have come around to see for themselves. Don't talk to him much now, even though he lives less than a mile away. Don't really care what he thinks anymore.

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Fred Martin

07-28-2006 05:26:16

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

Loaning money causes amnesia! Fred OH

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TomTX

07-28-2006 03:16:45

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

If you "overheard" him trashing you, why didn't you step up like a man? You could have set the record straight right on the spot. Now you are complaining and trashing him behind his back. What good does that do? Go to talk to him. If he sincerely apologizes, then shake his hand. If he gives you a hard time, tell him not to ever borrow anything from you again, part ways and be done with it. Tom

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Billy NY

07-28-2006 00:01:20

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

I remember one time a friend needed a car, so I found and bought a $300 one that had a few years left in er, but knowing that I may not get paid, and did'nt, I had kept the title, he was driving it around, not sure if it was legal, but the time came to sell it and he came knockin on my door for the title so he could make the sale, and of course, I got paid, before I gave the title up, always keep an upper edge when you can.

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Kelly C

07-27-2006 21:02:12

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

Been there done that. Wife is still very upset with a couple we know.
My self I dont let all that bother me any more.
If I help out some one its a gift.

I had one guy ask to borrow $150 because his car broke down. I lent him the money. 5 years later still have not seen one cent. 1 year ago he needed $1000 to keep his house. House got forclosed on.
I spent 3 years being mad about the $150 and he lost his house. ( I could have helped)

I decided that its not worth the mental anguish worring about getting paid back.
About a year ago. One of my wifes friends was having some diffeculties and had asked or at least let my wife know she needed $300. My wife aproached me and asked if she could lend her the money. I said NO. If she is a good enough friend to lend $300 to then is she not good enough to give $300 to? with out going into details it was the Best $300 we ever gave away. Has come back many times over in friendship. ( Oh and she did pay the money back)
And yes we have the leaches too. They have a $50 life time limmit.
Goes some thing like this. Can you lend me $50 for ( what ever)
( me) OK.....
Great! I will pay you back next Friday!
( me) Dont worry pay me what you can when you can.
How this $50 works out determines if they ever get any more help from me.
Unfortunatly most have failed. But we are still friends. Just wont give them any money. EVER

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monomechanical

07-27-2006 19:47:56

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

Actually, I've had two or three good experiences with this sort of situation. I went to the individual and said, "I've heard from a numer of sources you've been bad-mouthing me. Have I done something I don't know about? I'm not aware of anything I've done to deserve the criticism. What's the source of the bad feelings? I've been nothing but kind to you. What's up?"

This sort of approach has helped STOP the false reports, and helped the fellow to refrain from doing it again to someone else. One time, the guy actually sent a note of apology and correction to every person he could remember speaking to.

It takes courage to knock on the fellow's door, but not speaking to him is enabling the sinful behavior.

Also, it's the closest I ever get to showing real courage.

Give it a shot and tell us what happens.

mono

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jim in N M

07-27-2006 19:45:40

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

you say you've got a friend, thats not a friend.I had one of those type and I finally had enough,and called him over and for an hour or so I told him right to his face just what an a^*hole he was,and told him if he thought he had lots of friends,well he didn't.this guy actually stood there and didn;t say a word,and didn;t up and leave either tell I was done. I sure felt better. Jim in N M

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Been There, Too

07-27-2006 19:05:21

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

There are lots of jerks like that in this old world. Loan a so-called friend money, to save them from forclosure, years later, still have not gotten repaid. Worst part is the fact that he goes around ,talking trash about me, & has started several nasty (untrue) rumors. Odd thing is, he never misses a church service.

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Nebraska Cowman

07-27-2006 17:58:05

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

Oh yeah. We all have "neighbors" like that. I had to start locking things up. And then after you do them best to give them gas, give them money, lend them your car, etc etc,they bitchcuz you "don't want to help them" Well I feel sorry for the kids but him and his fat lazy wife are on my black list.

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john dear

07-27-2006 17:47:55

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

Been there been bent over. My "best friend" even! Long story but it is amazing how some folks can sleep at night. If I missed one payment the bank would be here looking for it. In some cases they haven't made payments in years. Think if I missed payroll taxes one quarter uncle sam would look the other way? They went for years without sending them in. Amazing. Still eating out, spending money, and running round town acting like they got money. Gonna be hard for me to feel sorry for them when it does finally come crashing down! Oh yea, he doesn't have much use for me anymore. Nothing else he can 'get' from me.

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Orrin

07-27-2006 17:41:26

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

The guy is using you just like he uses and abuses all his creditors. Let him take care of himself. The ungreatful sumbitch can starve or work to pay his bills. His choice.

Don't be an enabler.

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jlmtractor

07-27-2006 17:35:46

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

well there is a reason to get mad but why dont you pray for him and hope he quits bad mouthin when he needs to be working and paying people back. well hope you can calm down and thing about this.

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B-maniac

07-27-2006 19:05:12

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to jlmtractor , 07-27-2006 17:35:46

PRAY FOR HIM ??? God helps them who help themselves. These people know exactly what they are doing.We ARE enablers and in fact we are really more p--ssed at ourselves for enableing them to keep screwing us. Most of us have enough other freinds.Instead of wasting time trying to "save" this so called "friend", give that time and money to a friend who really needs it but will never ask.We all have them. If God wants to waste His time on these people,that's His bussiness,He doesn't need our help.

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hay

07-27-2006 17:33:01

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to phillip d, 07-27-2006 17:22:41

there's plenty of them like that....unfortunately.

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Popeye without the Spinac

07-28-2006 03:10:55

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Re: O/T BOY AM I P!$$ED !!! in reply to hay, 07-27-2006 17:33:01

And most of them end up crying about it here on good ol' yt.stewpid

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