Re: OT/Dealing with family members

Posted by 135 Fan on January 31, 2010 at 11:49:45 from (68.149.56.30):

In Reply to: Re: OT/Dealing with family members posted by buickanddeere on January 31, 2010 at 03:28:15:

Thank you for one of the more practical responses. My mom doesn't have too many friends and lives away from all the kids. I think she's turned most of her friends away as well. My brother rarely ever talks to my mom. A few years ago, all the kids were very concerned and wanted her to see a Dr. Some kind of counselor went to her apartment, because she refused to go to a Dr., to talk to her but of course my mom would never give any indications that she wasn't well or needed some help. It's highly possible that she knew she needed help and was worried she'd be put in the hospital for observation or tests. My grandma had alzheimers and mom was wondering if she might be getting it at one point. My girlfriend works in healthcare(extended care) with mostly elderly people, she was at a veterans center for many years. She even told my mom that she needs to stop being so negative towards me and things I'm doing. My mom is very good at hindsight and saying things like, if you'd have done this and not done that, you'd be way better off. If you'd only have listened to me. My mom didn't have many smart business decisions. A good example is when I sold my acreage. I got a good price for it at the time and also found another property that I could afford at the same time. This was in 2004. Of course a couple years later prices skyrocketed. Trying to explain to my mom that, yes, I could have sold the acreage for more... but the land I purchased would have also cost more is something she just can't seem to grasp. She will bring it anytime the acreage comes up in a conversation. My mom will say that money isn't important but her words and actions are to the contrary. My mom will say that she moved to be close to my grandma, so she could help her. My mom's sister lived close. My brother and sister as well as me think that a big reason my mom moved there was because she was trying to get more money when my grandma passed on. That sounds really cruel but my grandma's assets have never been settled and my mom and aunt's don't talk. My mom refuses to tell the whole story of what is going on. My grandma's first will gave all the grand kids $5000 but my mom didn't think they should get that money. My mom's sister's are better off than my mom, so of course my mom doesn't think they need any more money. I think my mom is very bitter over things that have happened to her in the past, and won't accept it. A lot of it wasn't her fault but stuff happens. She called me as I was typing this, like nothing happened yesterday. I think she knows she irritated me and it was kind of an apology. Dave

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