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Re: Need help and/or advice please---kinda long


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Posted by Pitch on November 26, 2009 at 05:09:30 from (66.66.97.129):

In Reply to: Re: Need help and/or advice please---kinda long posted by just another old geezer on November 26, 2009 at 04:11:53:

Sorry, I have no idea where you may find a lawyer.
However I am going to make you angry . I was in much the same situation 29 years ago, except the shoe was on the other foot. My wife left me before our son was born and I spent the next 15 years fighting for my parental rights.
Just from the way you tell your story and your description of the father you display your true feelings about him and your daughter picks up on this. You would not believe the things that were said about me even to the point of accusing me of child abuse and drug use under oath. Does this man pose a physical threat to the child? Not what YOU think is possible but what is real?
You admit that any interaction between the adults involved is tense and strained. Your daughter knows this and she knows that going to see her father causes stress in your household, a 7 year old wants to be loved and accepted and does not need to be made to feel guilty about going to see her father. Every time their is a discussion or an argument in your home about this situation she feels guilt and anxiety about pleasing you and your wife.
Sounds to me as though you are shopping therapists until you find one that agrees with your position.
Does NC not have child advocate attornies thru the family court system? This would be lawyers and counselers working for the state or county that work for the child independant of any adults involved.
Remember whether you like it or not this man is the girls father and they have the RIGHT to know each other and to develop a relationship. You admit yourself that when she does see her father that she does play smile and appears to have a good time, after she comes home is when she displays stress related symptoms. My advice to you is to back off relax and unless there is a REAL(not perceived) potential for abuse in the fathers home set up a reasonable visitation schedule and as time goes on if they want to spend more time together cheer them on and encourage it. Doing this will pay you back in spades down the road as she will grow in two households of love.
thirty years ago I was kind of a worthless bum, and probably not the best father that I could be either, but I matured and stepped up to the plate, and became a decent member of society.
Last Christmas when my son and two beautiful grandchildren were out my son told me some of the things his mother attempted, some intential some subconciously to sabatoge our relationship.
He told about after coming home how he was grilled about what went on in my house while he was there and the pressure he felt from his mother to spin me in a bad light.
Please step back and take another look at this thing. Do not let bad blood between your wife and her ex poison a father daughter relationship just for revenge sake.


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