Posted by K Effective on August 06, 2015 at 06:03:18 from (162.235.236.141):
In Reply to: Helping your kids??? posted by JD Seller on August 05, 2015 at 19:27:45:
I'll have to agree with John T here, it is not possible to know the whole story from the outside, heck, even from inside the family some times. Each person in each family has to react according to their core beliefs and accept the consequences. That acceptance usually seems to be the missing step- the Dad threw him out, can't complain when he doesn't come back decades later. If you allowed your kid to move back in with no limits (rent to pay or timeline to move back out or help provided, whatever), you must accept the consequences of that as well.
My wife was adamant that our kids were not to be forced to perform work around here. No specific chore list, no forcing to hoe that row, etc. The consequences I have had to accept are a dusty house, taking the garbage out myself, and at least one bathroom in need of cleaning. She seems okay with these and actually embraces a dirty house over a rigid schedule of cleaning (like I was raised with).
I never had to do any of the farming "chores" when I was growing up, because I could not wait to go out and do those cool farming things like shoveling manure or cultivating corn. My kids really want nothing to do with any of it, just like their mother. Yet, every employer they have had raves about their abilities and work ethic. With two in college and one more soon, the times to leave the nest are quickly upon us, how we handle those remains to be seen. But I know the consequences will be there.
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