The banker and elevator manager should be confidential people you can talk to. They should not blab this business to anyone after you talk to them. However, if the bank or the elevator take action after you talk to them will SIL figure it out? I don't know the answer. I'd still talk to the banker and elevator manager.
Marilyn's sister went through a similar situation after her husband died suddenly. She didn't know what was borrowed at the bank nor did she know her husband owed his mother money. Both the bank and the mother in law came after her. The bank was good to deal with but the mother in law and one SIL were nasty. What a mess and heartache. After that I vowed to keep Marilyn in touch with every part of the finances and farming operation. Now that she is retired she pays the bills and the two of us go together to the bank to do business. I show her where all of the business documents are on the computer and we do the income tax together. Losing a spouse or having a spouse disabled is enough of a stress without having to handle financial surprises too. I wish you the best. Jim
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