15 or so years ago, the elder care of my two Uncles and my Mom and Dad cost their estates over $400,000.00, which I wrote the checks for, as I was the only heir, plus had POA for them while they were alive.
They were "old school" and figured it was proper to pay their own way.
Trouble is, they never realized time had moved on, and costs had progressed, and just what that was going to cost!
My Wife's Grandpa was in the rest home at the same time, and, as he had no assets, so there was no cost to his "estate", or the family, and he got the same care.
Probably too late for the situation of the OP, but the rest of us REALLY need to stop and think about such things!
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