Shoes: People 'out here' do care about you. Do you have at least one significant person in your life you sincerely cares about and/or loves you? Seek that--we all need each other and relationship.
Sounds like you are suffering from a physical imbalance, along with emotional/personal stressors. Research indicates with appropriate medication (Will need a property diagnosis from a professional, MD.)and talk-therapy/counseling, a person can begin to feel much better. It is a process to regain physical and emotional balance in your life, which has been askew for some time, according to your note.
Do seek medical and psychological/therapy assistance NOW! It is worth a try, if you haven't tried that.
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Today's Featured Article - It's Alright Where It Is! - by Anthony West. I have a tale of a different kind to tell. Whilst rooting in the hedge bottoms this week I had cause to visit Chapel lane Farm, the home of an eccentric gentleman by the name of Austin Kendall. I had heard rumours that an old Case Model C was languishing away in the back of one of the outbuildings there. So off I went in search of what would turn out to be a very rare and unusual tractor. Mr Kendall is an excitable chap to say the least. He is amongst the last of a dying breed of farmer who
... [Read Article]
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