Asking some lady to dance while she was having dinner with her husband. Pretty much all of my near death experiences stopped after I quit drinking. Why am I still alive? Why? Oh, that's not me asking. It's the preacher asking me about me.
I ever tell you guys about the time the preacher gave me so many penences to say that mass ended and I was still saying them? Its true. Went to confession the Saturday before Palm Sunday one year, because it was the monthly Saturday that the preacher heard confessions. About a half hour before mass began, no one left to say confession but me, I went in and faced the preacher. I left the confessional a few minutes before mass began, and when I walked out there was people lined up down the side of the church to the entrance that all came in after me to make their confessions, and none got to because I took up all of their time, and they were all looking at me like I must have committed murder or something. I went over, knelt down, said my penence. I said so many Hail Marys and Our Fathers that mass began and ended, and I was still saying Hail Marys and Our Fathers well after it ended. True story, and no, I didn't commit murder. I pretty much don't drink no more though. Life's a little more boring, but not many near death experiences anymore.
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