Posted by NCWayne on April 08, 2013 at 16:07:35 from (173.188.169.54):
In Reply to: Re: Irresponsible Dad posted by JD Seller on April 08, 2013 at 07:10:11:
nfortunately the way you are presenting things seems to be the way the court system looks at it when it comes to the whole visitation-vs-support deal. Think about it this way, what is more important, taking care of a childs needs, or of their wants? In many cases the deadbeat parent behind still gets to see their kids with absolutely no consequenses to their actions where the parent with primary custody would lose the kid in a heartbeat if they showed the same neglect as the one not paying their share of the support. Unfortunately that is the way the court system looks at things. That being the case unless the parent with primary custody doesn't do anything to hold the deadbeat acountable for their actions then NOTHING ever gets done. Granted there are probably a few differences state to state in their rules on all of this, but in general that is the way it goes.
That being said, if the parent with primary custody withholds visits they can get in serious trouble. At the same time if you can't PROVE that the deadbeat isn't paying, is purposely not making money, etc, etc then all they will ever get is a slap on the wrist. You have to PROVE they can pay and chose not to before it becomes criminal contempt and opens them up to jail time. On the other hand if the responsible parent doesn't do without getting their hair done, getting a manicure, hitting the tanning booth, doing without cable, etc, etc, to make sure their child has enough to eat, the mortgage and utilities are paid, etc, etc then they stand the chance of living under a bridge and losing their child. In the same circumstances the deadbeat has cable, gets their spouses nails and hair done, etc, etc, etc but claims to have no money to pay support. Tell me where this is right................
Ultimately what your saying simply doesn't hold water. If the deadbeat treats his/her child any differently because the custodial parent holds them accoutable for their part of the monetary side of caring for a child then that person is irresponsibily stupid to the point they should have no right seeing the child anyway, at least in my opinion.
Bad as I hate to say it your parents doing what they did was horrible, but there are parents like your Mom who aren't satified regardless of what the other parent does. Fortunately all parents aren't like your Mom. Some work their a$$es off to support their child while the other parent sets back and does nothing but demand their 'rights' and to he!! with their responsibilities. This is just as bad for the child as anything because in the end the parent that really cares, that tries to set a good example for their kid spends way, way too much time working to insure the childs needs are taken care of, losing valuable 'together time' while the deadbeat always has money to take the child to the park, out for ice cream, etc, etc and give him/her everything they want but to he!! with the things the child needs.
No offense meant here, as I understand what your saying based soley on your experience, but not all cases are like yours and based on what I read in the original post showcrops daugher is stuck in one of those cases, just as my wife is.
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Today's Featured Article - Talk of the Town: The Saga of Grandpa's Tractor - by The following saga is from the Tractor Talk Discussion Forum. Someone. The saga starts with the following message: Hey guys I have a decision to make. I know what you all will probably suggest and it will probably agree with me way down inside, but here it is. I have a picture blown up and framed in my "tractor room" of a Farmall M. It was my Grandpa's tractor, of which whom I never got to meet. He froze to death getting this tractor out of the barn to pull a truck out of the ditch before I was born. Anyway my dad and aunt had to sell it at the auction,
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