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Regarding E Night -- Be Quick


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Posted by CliffP on October 02, 2012 at 17:51:36 from (70.249.248.210):

Best Tractor Ever Built

(Believed to be the seminal post of the entire Essex Tridirectional series)

When I was growing up my daddy had the best tractor ever built. It had more power, burned less fuel , handled better, rode smoother, and was almost trouble free. The name on the hood was NEJ ( never did know how to pronounce the name) it was purple in color. You know it had to be the best my daddy had one .

The first day after it was delivered he got up the next morning , about six O’clock, it was a cool morning, filled it up with fuel and started out to plow. ( eight 18s high clearance mold board) About eleven O’clock the sun was out, and it turned out to be a warm day, he noticed fuel spitting out of the little hole in the fuel cap. He never really checked the gal. per hour, but it didn’t burn enough to keep up with the thermal expansion. After that during the monthly fueling , he only filled it half full.. Fast learner my daddy, you know.

As I said once before, plowing with these 18 inch plows at 9 to 10 miles per hour , we had a lot of trouble with our dirt being thrown into the neighbors field, so we learned to slow way down when we got anywhere close to his property. The neighbor had one of those red, green or blue junk tractors ( I think he had one of each) anyhow, he didn’t have one of those NEJ purple best tractors like my daddy did , and couldn’t throw our top soil back to our farm.

Now, I said almost trouble free, at about 20,000 hours the fan belt broke. We called the dealer, but the dealer told him they didn’t stock any parts for the NEJ, said they had never had any calls for any parts, but he volunteered to call the factory to see what they had to say . That afternoon the factory plane with a team of technicians flew in to check the situation. We heard them muttering and mumbling, odd, strange, never saw anything like this before, any how they put a new belt on and got in their plane and left. A month or so later daddy was in the dealership and mentioned he had never received a bill, for the service call and belt. The dealer said wait a minute I’ll call the factory to see how much it is. When he hung up, he said he was told there is no bill , they said we must be mistaken, NEJs don’t break down.

Now, my uncle Earl, daddies brother, the wild one of the family had one of the same model NEJs as my daddies’ , but he only had a chisel plow , about 30 shank I think don’t remember for sure. Anyhow, uncle Earl had some pasture ground he wanted to mold board plow, so he borrowed daddies plows. I don’t remember mentioning how these NEJ tractor were designed to be simple and easy to work on, but the engine was held in with one very large bolt, and several snap couplers. Well, uncle Earl had a habit of driving with his legs crossed, and daydreaming a lot ,women I think , or maybe coon hunting. Anyhow,( we suspect sabotage) the engine mounting bolt got loose and while he was plowing the engine fell out on the ground, and before uncle Earl could get his legs uncrossed and get his wits about himself he had plowed the engine under. This took an hour or so to get the loader tractor and get the engine dug out of the ground , and fifteen minutes to put it back in the tractor. Uncle Earl lost about twenty or twenty five acres of plowing time, and was very unhappy!

Our NEJ now has 60,000 hours on it never had a wrench on it. ( except for the freak belt accident) If you think you have the best tractor, bring it over we will put them in the field side by side. All of this knowledge was passed on to me by my daddy .

This is rumored to be the only existing picture of an ETD. It was emailed to me by Fox Mulder, so take it for what it's worth!

third party image


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