Re: What would you think?

Posted by Pale Rider on August 17, 2009 at 19:58:26 from (207.200.116.5):

In Reply to: What would you think? posted by thresherman on August 16, 2009 at 20:38:10:

Assuming of course you can ultimeatly afford to do without the money is it really worth all the hassle an trouble you are going to go through to get it? No doubt about it, it's not pleasant and it's not right but I've learned that sometimes the price you pay to get paid comes at too high a cost. You can press him for it if you feel he is secretly playing you for a fool and laughing about it and that certainly is going to give you some satisfaction but in my experience it usually is not the way those things work. I've got a feeling he simply doesn't give it much thought at all and probably doesn't feel guilty over it either. I'm not excusing it by any means and I don't agree with it nor entirely understand it but that is the level I have found many people operate at. In fact I strongly suspect in his mind you would be the heavy if you choose to push it. Not that that should influence your decision.

I don't see it as an issue of lack of backbone, etc. if you chose to just forget it. I certainly wouldn't do business with him again and chances are it would give you some satisfaction to turn him down if he asks again but to be frank I believe you'll probably wind up damaging yourself and losing a great deal of upset over it if you choose to pursue it. It's not a perfect world and during our lives we see many things some of which include people doing things that are not right, often for no good reason and likely no reason at all. I had a real rough time with that more than once and I still just don't really see how it can be but many people just seem to blithely take advantage of others without the slightest thought about it. He probably doesn't even think he did anything wrong. He just doesn't think at all.

Think of the whole thing as a front row seat on someones else's character. As I've gotten older I have found that to be worth quite a bit at a number of levels,though many of the lessons are not pleasant. A year or two from now you'll find that you did fine without the money but the experience of actually seeing someone pull a bald faced stunt like that off and pretend that nothing is wrong helps to take the blinders off regarding just how common such things are but frequently remain unseen and generally unknown most of the time. I remember how long it took me to actually finally believe that people do things like that or treat each other the way they so often do. It just had no part of the mindset in which I was raised or the paradigm in which I tried to exist.

I guess what I'm saying is while I wouldn't repeat the favor I'd just move on. Try and work with and for good people as much as you able, help those you can, don't blame yourself, let it go and just be at peace. Forget it.

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