A girl the wife babysat years ago is getting married in Sept. The mother and daughter stopped to see the wife a couple days ago. The mother told the wife the wedding is going to be around 70 thousand. When it is over, in a couple days the flowers are wilted food is gone people are back home, and the parents are out 70 thousand. I know it's none of my business what they spend, but it seams a lot. When my daughters got married it was no where that, and the daughters are just as merried.
- Thread starter 37 chief
- Start date
Ya, thats more than some folks make in a year. I hope it lasts. Our wedding cost $5000, we had fun and are happy. That was 5 years ago. Were going to a friend of mines daughters wedding and he gave her $35,000 for it, only child. Now I know why when I worked for him he only paid my $7.00 an hour!!!
went to one of those recently. Big church ceremony; reception, prolly 3-400 guests, rent for big hall, huge feast, band, dancing past midnite.... We left early, what a bore! Everybody telling stories, big laughs, people faking the time of their lives! Don't know cost, maybe $20,000 or double. Poof in one night. What could that money have got them put to good use? How could a country that went thru the Great Depression only 80 yrs ago forget...oops, dated myself.
I agree. I've got 3 daughters over 20, all unmarried. They're focusing on their careers but I've told them I can't afford to help them through college AND spend that kind of money on a wedding. I've watched many of my friends go into hock to marry off a daughter only to see them divorced in a short while.
But when it does happen, you can still have a nice wedding if you avoid all the unnecessary stuff that wasn't around when I got married 37 yrs ago. We rode in the back of my 73' pontiac, chauffered by my best man. Today, limos are expected. Neighbor of mine spent $7,000 or thereabouts on flowers alone for the hall for their daughter's wedding. They send out pre-announcements 6 months in advance ($$$), have dessert bars ($$$), chocolate fountains ($$$), doves released ($$$) videos ($$$). You name it, you can spend money on it. All a waste as far as I'm concerned. It's not the wedding that makes you happy, it's the marriage and no amount of money spent trying to outdo the Jones' kids weddings will be worth it.
Got a friend,he spend 50 grand on only daughters wedding,2 yrs later they divorced.
By by 50 grand.
I went to the court house to get wed and had a small party afterwards for family and friends,keg of beer and a good meal.Been on honeymoon ever since.
I suggested to my kids to do the same and use their money for things that matter.
IMO a big wedding is a waste of money
By by 50 grand.
I went to the court house to get wed and had a small party afterwards for family and friends,keg of beer and a good meal.Been on honeymoon ever since.
I suggested to my kids to do the same and use their money for things that matter.
IMO a big wedding is a waste of money
fixerupper
Well-known Member
It's kind of sad that people have to live with that frame of mind. Money can't buy respect.
My son and daughter-in-law were married by a JP in a restaurant made from a very highly converted barn. Restaurant downstairs and dance floor in the hay mow. There was a ceremony, we ate and then went upstairs and danced the night away. My sis's husband, a certified city sicker, acted like it was beneath his dignity to go to a wedding in a barn and he left to go watch a golf game on TV not long after the dance started. My son has very little respect for him since.
The most fun I ever had at a wedding reception was one held in a machine shed. The dance was on the cement floor in one corner and the keg was in the other corner. Had the biggest men's restroom I'd ever seen, but the corn leaves in the face were kind of annoying. Jim
My son and daughter-in-law were married by a JP in a restaurant made from a very highly converted barn. Restaurant downstairs and dance floor in the hay mow. There was a ceremony, we ate and then went upstairs and danced the night away. My sis's husband, a certified city sicker, acted like it was beneath his dignity to go to a wedding in a barn and he left to go watch a golf game on TV not long after the dance started. My son has very little respect for him since.
The most fun I ever had at a wedding reception was one held in a machine shed. The dance was on the cement floor in one corner and the keg was in the other corner. Had the biggest men's restroom I'd ever seen, but the corn leaves in the face were kind of annoying. Jim
fixerupper
Well-known Member
It's kind of sad that people have to live with that frame of mind. Money can't buy respect.
My son and daughter-in-law were married by a JP in a restaurant made from a very highly converted barn. Restaurant downstairs and dance floor in the hay mow. There was a ceremony, we ate and then went upstairs and danced the night away. My sis's husband, a certified city sicker, acted like it was beneath his dignity to go to a wedding in a barn and he left to go watch a golf game on TV not long after the dance started. My son has very little respect for him since.
The most fun I ever had at a wedding reception was one held in a machine shed. The dance was on the cement floor in one corner and the keg was in the other corner. Had the biggest men's restroom I'd ever seen, but the corn leaves in the face were kind of annoying. Jim
My son and daughter-in-law were married by a JP in a restaurant made from a very highly converted barn. Restaurant downstairs and dance floor in the hay mow. There was a ceremony, we ate and then went upstairs and danced the night away. My sis's husband, a certified city sicker, acted like it was beneath his dignity to go to a wedding in a barn and he left to go watch a golf game on TV not long after the dance started. My son has very little respect for him since.
The most fun I ever had at a wedding reception was one held in a machine shed. The dance was on the cement floor in one corner and the keg was in the other corner. Had the biggest men's restroom I'd ever seen, but the corn leaves in the face were kind of annoying. Jim
It was 30 years ago but we spent $500.00, that got me a new suite, wife a new dress from Sears(no not a wedding dress an dress) the preacher got a hundred bucks(our marriage has lasted longer than his)the church was free,reception in the basement, pictures were done by a friend and came out better than some of the professional jobs I have seen. Flowers were bought at the Dollar store and put together in the kitchen. Dancing and drinks at our favorite dance hall later, we spent two days 30 miles from home and then we went back to work. I think it could still be done for $1500.00
Hoss In ME
Member
How bout the 40 million they want to spend cross the pond?Hoss
I don't understand the mentality behind it. Seems like it's a whole industry built up on suckering people into adjusting their view of what's normal and expected.
When my wife and I got married we got a lot of grief from friends about doing things on the cheap. The church let us use their attached hall for a reception dinner, family friend took photos, no dance. I just told anyone who criticized it "I'm buying you dinner, so you can just shut up!"
My only regret was renting tuxedos, but my friends probably didn't have suits to wear anyway. The majority of our expense was catering, but buying all your friends and relatives a good meal and telling your new father-in-law to put his checkbook away is good feeling.
When my wife and I got married we got a lot of grief from friends about doing things on the cheap. The church let us use their attached hall for a reception dinner, family friend took photos, no dance. I just told anyone who criticized it "I'm buying you dinner, so you can just shut up!"
My only regret was renting tuxedos, but my friends probably didn't have suits to wear anyway. The majority of our expense was catering, but buying all your friends and relatives a good meal and telling your new father-in-law to put his checkbook away is good feeling.I consider myself the tail end of dead breed. My wife and I got married in 89. I paid most as I was a "bit older than usual" 27 yrs old and my father inlaw is quite cheap. We had a local band played polkas and country (how tacky by today's standards), found a local gal from restaurant did catering, and rented the VFW hall. total was probably $3,000. 20+ yrs later I still get compliments on the food which was plain ole ham and polish sausage, but that was how all weddings used to be done. Now days tell some queen to get a band and have ham and she would tell you to get screwed. And a "cr@ppy" VFW hall, well that would be insulting.
IOWA NORTHEAST
Member
It simply is a sign of shallow people that are trying to impress other shallow royality. I'm way to red neck for that one.
A good friend paid $86.00 per plate for their daughters wedding plus the motel, and on and on etc......he impressed us all. While bragging, he forgot to mention that he has taken over $581,000.00 in farm subcities, and his wife about the same ammount, so he could afford it. By the time us buddies got done with him, he said he would never tell another sole after that spanking we gave him.
We usually aren't that hard on a buddy, but he had just ranted about a neighbor that was on welfare. The neighbor has been diabetic since early childhood, going blind, many health issues, and can't buy health insurance--well you all know someone that never gets a break in life......
Funerals fall into the same pot / toilet. Ya think there are some marketing mind games involved? The last time you can get dad the best.....When you look at caskets, what price range is the very first one you see????? You know, the one with a soft pink light shinning down on it....
My dad passed in 96, and mom was beside herself with decisions and cost. I told her to take the differance between low, and what she thought ----OTHERS--would expect, and slip it inside a storm door, at x-mas. I told her dad would be happy with real cheap, and then helping out a poor family.
The funeral director usualy ate alot of meals at the golf course / country club. And this way a large poor family ate good for a few months, and had a warmer house thanks to mom. I'm very proud to say, that was ....MY... mom, and she started a tradition in our family every since. Our family was blessed to understand the real meaning of x-mas.
A good friend paid $86.00 per plate for their daughters wedding plus the motel, and on and on etc......he impressed us all. While bragging, he forgot to mention that he has taken over $581,000.00 in farm subcities, and his wife about the same ammount, so he could afford it. By the time us buddies got done with him, he said he would never tell another sole after that spanking we gave him.
We usually aren't that hard on a buddy, but he had just ranted about a neighbor that was on welfare. The neighbor has been diabetic since early childhood, going blind, many health issues, and can't buy health insurance--well you all know someone that never gets a break in life......
Funerals fall into the same pot / toilet. Ya think there are some marketing mind games involved? The last time you can get dad the best.....When you look at caskets, what price range is the very first one you see????? You know, the one with a soft pink light shinning down on it....
My dad passed in 96, and mom was beside herself with decisions and cost. I told her to take the differance between low, and what she thought ----OTHERS--would expect, and slip it inside a storm door, at x-mas. I told her dad would be happy with real cheap, and then helping out a poor family.
The funeral director usualy ate alot of meals at the golf course / country club. And this way a large poor family ate good for a few months, and had a warmer house thanks to mom. I'm very proud to say, that was ....MY... mom, and she started a tradition in our family every since. Our family was blessed to understand the real meaning of x-mas.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
When I got married the first time, we were married in the church right after Sunday services. No expensive rental, not even a flower bill. I paid the minister $10, and that was all I could afford. Only guests were the best man and the maid of honor, plus my mom, dad, and grandmother showed up ONLY because they heard about it at the last minute.
Our reception was at on sister-in-law's house, in the backyard. The other sister-in-law baked the cake as a favor to my wife, who was her "baby sister." Drinks were BYOB, and I think we may have had some punch made from 7-Up and sherbet.
Y'know what? Until the day she died, we were as legally married for those 14-1/2 years as couples who spent thousands.
Second wedding cost just a little more. We rented a conference room in the basement of a local bank, and we had mints and nuts as well as cake and punch. For music, some was on cassette, and the others we actually sang ourselves. Didn't break the bank, and we've passed 16 years this past August.
So I've been married TWICE in the past 32 years, and the total spent on BOTH weddings was probably less than some folks spend on tux rentals alone.
Our reception was at on sister-in-law's house, in the backyard. The other sister-in-law baked the cake as a favor to my wife, who was her "baby sister." Drinks were BYOB, and I think we may have had some punch made from 7-Up and sherbet.
Y'know what? Until the day she died, we were as legally married for those 14-1/2 years as couples who spent thousands.
Second wedding cost just a little more. We rented a conference room in the basement of a local bank, and we had mints and nuts as well as cake and punch. For music, some was on cassette, and the others we actually sang ourselves. Didn't break the bank, and we've passed 16 years this past August.
So I've been married TWICE in the past 32 years, and the total spent on BOTH weddings was probably less than some folks spend on tux rentals alone.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
When I got married the first time, we were married in the church right after Sunday services. No expensive rental, not even a flower bill. I paid the minister $10, and that was all I could afford. Only guests were the best man and the maid of honor, plus my mom, dad, and grandmother showed up ONLY because they heard about it at the last minute.
Our reception was at on sister-in-law's house, in the backyard. The other sister-in-law baked the cake as a favor to my wife, who was her "baby sister." Drinks were BYOB, and I think we may have had some punch made from 7-Up and sherbet.
Y'know what? Until the day she died, we were as legally married for those 14-1/2 years as couples who spent thousands.
Second wedding cost just a little more. We rented a conference room in the basement of a local bank, and we had mints and nuts as well as cake and punch. For music, some was on cassette, and the others we actually sang ourselves. Didn't break the bank, and we've passed 16 years this past August.
So I've been married TWICE in the past 32 years, and the total spent on BOTH weddings was probably less than some folks spend on tux rentals alone.
Our reception was at on sister-in-law's house, in the backyard. The other sister-in-law baked the cake as a favor to my wife, who was her "baby sister." Drinks were BYOB, and I think we may have had some punch made from 7-Up and sherbet.
Y'know what? Until the day she died, we were as legally married for those 14-1/2 years as couples who spent thousands.
Second wedding cost just a little more. We rented a conference room in the basement of a local bank, and we had mints and nuts as well as cake and punch. For music, some was on cassette, and the others we actually sang ourselves. Didn't break the bank, and we've passed 16 years this past August.
So I've been married TWICE in the past 32 years, and the total spent on BOTH weddings was probably less than some folks spend on tux rentals alone.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
I guess the moral of the story is...it's not what you SEND on the WEDDING; it's what you INVEST in the MARRIAGE that counts.
BDT in Minnesota
Member
they could have hopped into a new tractor and "eloped", but would a $70,000 tractor have been good enough?
MarkB_MI
Well-known Member
- Location
- Motown USA
I have no problem with people spending money they can afford to spend, but I'll bet these folks can ill afford to spend 70 grand on one wedding. And even if they can afford it, think what good that 70K could do if they gave it to Salvation Army instead of spending it a party.
Wow! I got married 15 years ago and the whole thing was $10,000. (we had a nice wedding too)
I have heard of Italian kids getting married and having $80k weddings. Real dumb.
I guess some folks think they are rich (maybe they really are) But $ 70K is a lot of fricken money for a wedding.
My sister was married for a month shy of 20 years and she just got divorced 2 months ago. My parents are real upset. My sister is a total 8itch and my former BIL is a weekend alcholic. (nice combination there) My sisters wedding in 1990 was $10,000------my parents footed 90% of that bill. She has 3 kids too.
I have heard of Italian kids getting married and having $80k weddings. Real dumb.
I guess some folks think they are rich (maybe they really are) But $ 70K is a lot of fricken money for a wedding.
My sister was married for a month shy of 20 years and she just got divorced 2 months ago. My parents are real upset. My sister is a total 8itch and my former BIL is a weekend alcholic. (nice combination there) My sisters wedding in 1990 was $10,000------my parents footed 90% of that bill. She has 3 kids too.
james rumph
Member
Almost nine years ago my wife and i got married ! We were married in city hall by the judge.
We had six people there to stand up and watch. My wife baked our cake [she wanted too] we cooked some nice New York strips and had a wonderful afternoom with close friends and family.
Total cost was under $500.00 and i wouldn't change a thing.
People watch to much tv and see these Hollywood weddings and think that is the way your supposed to do it.
I think they have forgotten to teach common sence in the public school systems.
We had six people there to stand up and watch. My wife baked our cake [she wanted too] we cooked some nice New York strips and had a wonderful afternoom with close friends and family.
Total cost was under $500.00 and i wouldn't change a thing.
People watch to much tv and see these Hollywood weddings and think that is the way your supposed to do it.
I think they have forgotten to teach common sence in the public school systems.
john in la
Well-known Member
I really do not have a problem with people spending money they have but 70k on a wedding is just crazy.
That same 70k could be better spent on a starter house for the young couple but that would not impress the neighbors as well as a big wedding will.
I was married in my FIL's living room. I gave the preacher $40; my sister brought some finger sandwiches and my SIL made a small cake. Siblings and parents were the only ones invited and all were in street cloths.
While there has been many bumps along the way; the two of us have invested enough into the marriage since that day to make it last 27 years so far.
That same 70k could be better spent on a starter house for the young couple but that would not impress the neighbors as well as a big wedding will.
I was married in my FIL's living room. I gave the preacher $40; my sister brought some finger sandwiches and my SIL made a small cake. Siblings and parents were the only ones invited and all were in street cloths.
While there has been many bumps along the way; the two of us have invested enough into the marriage since that day to make it last 27 years so far.
fixerupper
Well-known Member
When Marilyn and I married in '73 we had the rehersal dinner right here at home. The meal was spare ribs. Marilyn's parents grumbled about the meal not being in a restaurant somewhere, but we didn't have the money for that. Dad did have the money but he wasn't about to spend it. The only reception we had after the wedding was a few close friends coming to the house for a few drinks. Marilyn is the third in a family of 17 so her side understandably didn't have much money to pitch in. Her brother got his arm in the mixing auger of the grinder-mixer a couple of hours after the wedding so the mood was dampened quite a bit. We only stayed in one motel during our 10 day honeymoon to Colorado Springs. We stayed with relatives the rest of the time. The entire honeymoon was financed with gift money from the wedding and we had some left over. I was grumbling loudly about the price of gas going up from .37 here at home to .42 along the interstate. Jim
When my parents were married it was in her father's living room on the farm and his father (the Rev. Mr. H. Vincent Wright) did the service. Mom did have a Wedding Gown.
All three of my sisters were married at the church with the reception in the church basement in home made Wedding Gowns. 2 of them had a limousine, but the grooms had a friend at a funeral parlor who arranged the limo at no cost.
All three of my sisters were married at the church with the reception in the church basement in home made Wedding Gowns. 2 of them had a limousine, but the grooms had a friend at a funeral parlor who arranged the limo at no cost.
In 1977 I spent about 1200 dollars to get married. Everyone had plenty to eat and drink and danced the night away with a live band at the local township hall. Used the money I saved to put down on my house. I paid for it all, although I was 27 years old and already well established. I think that amount of money is a little extreme. If they got it, they could still had a good party and donated a little to those without where a buck would surely go a little farther.
You nailed it!
I got married just last year (at 36, I waited for the right one!) and her parents insisted that they were going to pay for their only daughter's wedding. Who was I to argue? It was something they had been saving for for years. I don't know what the final bill was but I can tell you it wasn't anywhere near the $70K mark........probably somewhere around a quarter of that, maybe a little more. Church wedding, horse and carriage, photos and catered reception at a hotel for approx 150 guests. It was classy but not over the top, many folks said how it was one of the nicest weddings they'd been to.
Been married 44 years and had a simple church wedding. Life is good. Wife mom tells the story that back when they got married, my fil was plowing corn with horses and it rained that night couldn't go to the field the next day, so run to the courthouse and got married and was back plowing corn the next day. My grandpa (on dads side) tell when they were married, also at the courthouse, to get back to the farm took a train 11 miles to the next town and walk 6 miles home. They were married 62 years.
TomH in PA
Well-known Member
That's far more than I would consider spending. But if the family has the money then why not spend it?
To those suggesting they could donate it to charity, the money they're spending goes to people providing the services: florists, caterers, tailors, musicians, etc., etc. Better that people who are working for a living get paid than giving it to a welfare queen.
To those suggesting they could donate it to charity, the money they're spending goes to people providing the services: florists, caterers, tailors, musicians, etc., etc. Better that people who are working for a living get paid than giving it to a welfare queen.
Well said. It's all perspective. If they are multi-millionaires, that was pocket change and they probably already donate a substantial amount to charity.
Most of my clients are well off and what I think is a lot of money is really nothing to them. I had one client that spend north of $30 grand on a water feature for his daughters wedding. He spent another $25 grand on other property renovations for that wedding. Then he paid for the wedding on top of that and thought he got off cheap.
Most of my clients are well off and what I think is a lot of money is really nothing to them. I had one client that spend north of $30 grand on a water feature for his daughters wedding. He spent another $25 grand on other property renovations for that wedding. Then he paid for the wedding on top of that and thought he got off cheap.
The wife and i got married a little less than a year ago. We went down to Gattlinburg rented a small chapel(included minister, flowers, pics, video, etc etc) for $1,000. Rented a huge 6 bed 4 bath house for the weekend for $500. Spent $100 on food. 12 people including us. Got married had a little get together sent the parents on the way to KY and partied the rest of the weekend with our buds. 70k would buy me a nice tractor, ripper, chisel plow, and field finisher
Fullthrottle
Member
Don't know much about weddings, Had one once, but $70,000.00 is cheap for a divorce. Mine cost twice that. And was worth every penny!!!
Well I got married this fall in October. Had about 30 close family at my brothers house in Arizona and he performed the ceremony. Rented tables, cake catered meal for that was about $2000. We then had a full on reception in November, the bill for the hall and captive catering was about $6000 to $7000. Cake and DJ added another grand.
Didn't think we really blew the bank but we got what we wanted. The reception is usually the spendy part and it was in our case also. We are both in our 40's and it is the first time (hopefully the last also) around for both of us.
jt
Didn't think we really blew the bank but we got what we wanted. The reception is usually the spendy part and it was in our case also. We are both in our 40's and it is the first time (hopefully the last also) around for both of us.
jt
When I made my dreadful mistake back in 1995 we paid for it ourselves. Both sides said they wanted this and that in it and we didn't. So to shut them all up we did the whole thing. We had 3-400 people at the church, 7 people stood up for us on each side, rented the Masonic hall ballroom and catered it our selves. The car was a rental for a week. Went to Gatlinberg TN for our Moon and then down to Southern Mississippi to see family that didn't come up. Total cost was a bit over $3000. Divorced in 2001 and have never been Happier. Sadly two kids are involved and thanks to our judges they get the short end of the stick.
We got married by the mayor,then we went to South Dakota to a cow sale.I Did buy her a pretty spendy ring,but the diamond fell out while she was messing around in her flower garden.On the other hand I don't have a problem if someone wants to spend that on a wedding,it's their money.
Dave Sherburne NY
Well-known Member
You suppose they will regret that when the divorce comes around. I don't like to go to weddings, I just tell them I'll go to their next one.
My wife and I where married in the Methodist church we both where baptized in as babies. Cost? Nothing The Pastor would not take anything. The reception was a barn dance in my FIL new dairy barn. We had a fatten steer roasted that my Grand Father gave us. Cooked right by the barn over a hickory wood fire. Brothers chipped in and got two kegs of beer. The SILs make wine so they brought fifteen or twenty bottles. MIL and my Mom made the cake together. My sisters picked all wild flowers for the Church and reception. So the total cost of hard cash was under $500.
We have been married forty-three years this last Sept. We have five children and twenty grand kids. Has it been easy??? NO My wife is a much better person than I. I used to have a temper from he!!. I would yell and raise he!! with her. She would just look disappointed in me. That look just killed me. I have not raised my voice to her in over forty years. I would not have hardly anything if not for her. I think too many people fall in "Lust" with each other. Love is harder and it takes work plus maintenance everyday.
We have been married forty-three years this last Sept. We have five children and twenty grand kids. Has it been easy??? NO My wife is a much better person than I. I used to have a temper from he!!. I would yell and raise he!! with her. She would just look disappointed in me. That look just killed me. I have not raised my voice to her in over forty years. I would not have hardly anything if not for her. I think too many people fall in "Lust" with each other. Love is harder and it takes work plus maintenance everyday.
jim johnson
Well-known Member
WHY do you care how much someone else spends on anything? It's their money. It's the government that you should worry about spending YOUR money! Dang people that are always concerened about what others do is why we are in the shape we are in. Dang L_b_r_ls!
Jim
Jim
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