What Next ?

Best friends dad apparently decided it was time to go, officially it was classified as something else. An awful lot for a close family to withstand let alone this time of year, he was a good friend to me, as are his sons, he was a U.S. Army veteran who honorably served this country and a genuinely kind person. Most importantly I would be indebted to all here if you could remember him and his family in your prayers at such a trying and difficult time. I was with them all day yesterday, given the circumstances, I did not think it possible for them to cope so well with such a tragic loss, I can only hope they do just as well with the upcoming events.

I have stopped asking myself why, does not matter at this point anymore, makes no sense, never thought it possible, but if you have anyone troubled in your family make sure to show em how much you appreciate them no matter what.

Thanks so much !

when things calm down a bit id check into any meds he was on had a local do that this fall he was 36 had a nice wife 2 kids one on the way just bought a new home for them turns out it was the medication he was on had 6 others do the same thing after they were put on this medication i see a lawsuit in the future still wont help the grieving families

Sorry to hear about that Billy, we will be thinking about you , and them you for sure. JayinNY.

I keep reminding myself of the saying I heard years ago, that suicide is a permanant solution to a temporary problem. But with health issues that is not always the case. Meds can do weird things to you. I take 12 a day and have been through it.

Anyone who has seen a loved one waste away with cancer has thought things through. My dad knew his days were numbered when we had to put him in a nursing home while he fought terminal cancer. His last day that he was in his right mind, he asked me to go home and get his gun. Its pretty tough. Had he still been at home, I may have gotten him his gun, I really dont know.

I am thinking of the family.

Gene

Will do, Billy--tough to see that happen. Miss your posts, but it sounds like you've been occupied.

Always a shock,been thru some of that.Very hard to make some sort of sense of it all. You take good care of yourself and whoever you might be around.

Prayer's sent

That's really a hard place to be. Best Friend checked out early when I was in College.Still wonder a few times a year how things might've been different. Acquaintance from work did the same thing. Try and remember the good times and use well whatever time you have left on this earth.I'll admit I am now less quick to judge others. Be nice to someone today. You might be the last person they ever talk to. I hope you feel better soon. Only time seemed to help for me.

Billy; Our family went through that last spring. Our daughter-inlaw's dad did the same thing. Reasons that only each of them will know. Long before we were blessed with our new daughter we knew her parants. We all went to neighboring schools Around here and we all used to know each other. At Fair time we all had our fun boasting and showing our animals and favorite colored tractors. We were a Case Dealer, her family were devoted JD users. That never stopped us from being friends, and we all shared some great times. Those times are what you have to remember, but it will be hard. Last week I drove past their place and his son had made a huge lighted sign in the form of a christmas wreath saying" we miss you dad" It has brought tears to my eyes every time I think about it. Friday I was taking some pics. of natures beauty and snapped these. He has not left us, he's just setting back and watching over us and is as free as the wind now.

Nice pictures Case Guy. Thats the way I remember my son when I see a solitary bird.

Cancer took my dad the week before Thanksgiving, 1989. Hard to lose a loved one during the holidays, but you survive.

I just had a cousin, more like a brother, take that way out this fall. I think I know his reasons, but I'll have to wait until we meet again to really know. Still very tough on the ones left behind, and that's who it really hurts.

My dad took that way out Oct '01. Very difficult to deal with. You never really stop asking "Why"?
Hard to think about the toughest guy you had known your whole life, doing what he did.
My condolences.

Ben

I know a family who went through that three times. The father first, then two daughters many years later.

Made me realize that we unknowingly pave the way for our children, spouses, and friends. In contemplating suicide, a person should realize that we are telling our loved ones that this is a solution. Maybe it is, but I think it's not.

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend and for the grief that his family must be going through. My prayers go out for all of you.

Paul

Hi johndeerman: I had a brother who was taking the wrong combination of pills from his long time local doctor. When I found out from a drugest and Blue Cross help line, I called the doctor and told him fix the problem that very day because tomorrow I will call the state medical board and complain LOUDLY. My brother got off those pills right away. Happens more often then one might think. People use different drug stores can get that problem too. Gotta be careful and ask doctor & drugest plus Blue Cross free help Phone service every time another type pill is added. ag.

This happens far to often, and the family will blame themselves at some point for not catching on to the problem.

The best words you can offer when this happens is ask them what they would say to someone else going through the same issue. It is no ones fault, the best doctors with the best and smartest, indeed miss it very often.

Around x-mas is a very sad time for those dealing with issues, and is one of the hardest deaths to deal with for a family left behind. This seems unbelivable while so many other fight for life each day.

When teenagers do it, there is usualy the same single one factor involved.

It simply takes time to heal from this ordeal, but friends and family help each other.

My uncle had surgery, and the doctors sent him home, and prommised him the worst headache he could imagine. He was upstairs and the gun was downstairs, and he was afraid of falling down the stairs. He made fun of himself over his thinking process. He chose to die, rather than have the same surgery done again.

One thing we often overlook, is that if it was not for modern medicine, many would not have to suffer, because nature would have delt with the matters years before.

In my own case, I can see how someone could take the early exit. Looking at my own life, I know my wife's immediate financial prospects are better if I check out early, because one life insurance policy will more than pay off the house, and the other one will pay for the funeral, burial, and other related expenses and still have money left over. Sadly, in this world, it's not about how good a person you are, how willing you are to work, or anything else but "Where's the money you owe me?" Doesn't matter how much you love anyone, or how much you tell 'em. The ONLY thing that matters is whether you can pay. If you can't pay, this world has no use for you.

My great-grandfather's death was a suicide. He was 91, he'd had one leg amputated below the knee because of poor circulation, and doctors were planning to take his other leg for the same reason. He OD'ed on his meds. And I'm not so sure my grandfather on Mom's side didn't commit suicide. He drowned in a trail-riding "accident," trying to cross a river that as trail boss he'd already told everyone else that we weren't going to even attempt to cross because the river was too high and the current was too swift. A week before, doctors had done a liver biopsy on him--he'd been driving a truck delivering gasoline and heating oil for 25 years at that point--and I think he knew the results weren't good.

But y'know what? The world kept on turning without them. When life stopped for them, it went on for others. Been that way forever. And for anyone who misses them, they have granite markers in their respective cemeteries to remind us they were here. World's still gonna go on turning after I leave as well. Maybe when I'm gone, someone will put up a marker for me, if they care enough to do it. I won't be there to see if they do or not, so I guess it won't matter.

My sincerest condolances-I have come to the conclusion that as we age some people "age" different than others. Physical, mental, and emotion pain takes a toll. Sometimes it will fester up and the only light at the end of the tunnel is to take ones life. Sad but true. In the end ones life is their greatest asset, yet many fail to see it and chose to eleiminate it. But since it is theirs and they have freedom of choice, their is little those left behind can do but try and deal with it. May GOD be with you in your time of need

sorry to here , your help to the family now will be greatly appreciated, we wish you the best

Hello Billy NY,
That is tragic in many ways! Our thoughts are with the family and you.
Many veterans go without help and the results are never pleasant.
You are doing what is needed just by beying there,
Guido.

Sorry for the loss of your good friend and my condolences to his family that he left behind.

Just continue to be there as his good friend for his family.

Losing a family member during the Christmas holidays is tough.

Lost my mother ten years ago on 12/27; had a grandson born on the same day 12/27.

Lost my grandson ten years ago on 1/30; little guy would have been 10 this Christmas.

My sincere thanks to all here, one is at a loss of words when something like this happens, it is very difficult to see people hurt like this, it is comforting and helpful to know others are thinking of them.

I will also amend my statement which may be in error, in regards to the circumstances of what happened, at this point thinking more clearly I do not believe anyone will truly know what took place and it really does not matter, more importantly we honor and cherish his memory.

Again, thank you so much.

Hang in there. Things will brighten up.