I know this is way OT but I feel it is important If you thinking about going to a home make sure you sign Power of attorney and of greater importance a LIVING WILL this impower someone to look after your health care. We received a phone call that mom (my wife) was being admtted to the hospital. We were not asked we were told. The nursing director had this all figure out. Mom would go in the hospital for three midnights to skilled nursing to receive IV's for a urninary infection that took a antibiotic that had be be given by IV. She would then be returned to the nursing home skilled nursing for further IV as they had a nurse that was certified.
This all happened so fast that none of the family asked who made this decision. Finally I asked how this all came about. Got this answer from the director of nursing. "She is self admitted under our care". Son and family had placed mom in the home because we wanted good care. Mom had signed a legal living will giving the power to the son. We addressed several issues with this person and she was going to take care of these and call son. I noticed that the IV that the hospital had just put in, had been move. I thought nothing about it because I knew that they must be cared for or there is problems. Sunday I ate dinner with Mom and noticed her other arm had a lot of brusies. This was a big No-No. Mom had a Masectomy after a battle with breast cancer, Chemo, and Radiation in 1996. Instructions at that time. Do not use the left arm for IV's or blood preesure cuff. So this morning son met with the head director with his signed papers and came home satisfied,

The point I am making. Make sure you have delegated someone to take command when you can not. I know I am a strong headed old coot it his hard to put you life in someone else hand.
After the Nero-surgeon places the shunt in mom's brain she has been well except for an occational bout with a infection.

We have luck to have a strong son backed by three sisters.
gitrib

Hang in there gitrib - thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Haft to think about with my 87/86 year old parents who just stopped in at work today - still get around but slowly.

Redid my will-estate planning-etc again last January but still haven't gotten final draft - guess that's the "power of attorney". Seams like they work at a different pace than regular folks!

Jim

We hope that Marge"s condition improves.

One thing"s for sure; we only have one Mom and she needs to be well taken care of.

Be sure and take care of yourself to Graydon.

There are four legal documents that every adult should have, even young adults and especially those of us who are older.
1. A Will
2. Power of Attorney
3. Medical Power of Attorney
4. A Living Will

Otherwise some stranger may be making the decisions for the family, without any input from the family.

Gitrib, you are fortunate to have a strong son and daughters. I hope everything goes OK with your wife.

Just lost my father-in law (could never have had a better one) 2 months ago and he had the papers to say no Resitation(sp) but could not be found at correct time so acording to law they had to do what he did not want. Make sure everybody knows you have them and where they are, better yet have several copies everyplace. I know we need to get better on what we have.

Just to add another side to the nursing home story. My son is in charge of house keeping at the local nursing home.

He told me the hardest thing he has to look at. Is the ones that sit by the front door. Waiting for someone to come and visit them. So he has made it a point to visit with them every day.

So if you have someone in a home. Take the time to go and visit them. Even a short visit is better than none. Don't just dump them and leave them.