frustration!!

Dave from MN · Mar 23, 2010

frustration is when a next door neighbor rents out his land to some one he doesnt even know after you have been asking him to rent it for 2 years, and he has always said you have first chance if he rents it, you have been a life long (39 years) freind, and you even offer to pay a little more than the other stranger offered. WTF. Kinda puts the term friends into a whole new perspective. I know it's his land, but I dont get it.

PaGlenn · Mar 23, 2010

This is just my point-of-view. Sometimes business arrangements between friends can cause a split in the friendship if the arrangement sours. An arrangement between a friend/neighbor. Hey! you gotta see each other daily. That makes it more difficult if the deal sours.

rrlund · Mar 23, 2010

Ya...well....what's worse is when you think you have a piece of land bought,go to the bank and get the loan then they back out. Tell you they'll sell half of it because a relative wants the other half,but,oh yea,the price per acre went up. So you talk to the person and the relative and agree to pay more for half IF you get first chance on the rest of their land if they ever decide to sell that,then they turn around and sell THAT out from under you.

Stephen in SoKY · Mar 23, 2010

I have many acquaintances......and very few true friends.

JR.Fyre · Mar 23, 2010

My good friend I know what you are talking about;
I had the very same thing happen to me,my neighbor
had some groung next to me and I gave him rights to go down my fence row to get to his 26 acres so he could hunt it, then he rent'd that ground out to. hunter , I did not tell the hunter that he could hunt my ground.But he was. So I closed the gate chained it and locked. The neighbor and the hunter and I had a short talk that day. The
neighbor and I have not'd for 4 years. That's Life.
JR.FRYE

Goose · Mar 23, 2010

That's why among my brothers-in-law and nephews, we have an agreement: kinship is kinship and business is business. When we avail ouselves of anothers business services, we're like anyone else off the street. Keeps it simple without any misunderstandings.

BTW, when I was farming the family farm, and anticipating taking over my father-in-law's farm when he retired, he simply announced one day that he'd leased his farm to a neighbor.

We'd always had a great relationship and I always figured he could have at least talked it over beforehand. Maybe he had valid reasons, but I guess I never did really forgive him, even though he died two years later.

Anonymous-0 · Mar 23, 2010

friendship and business don't mix. Maybe you have a better friend than you think.

Dave

JMOR · Mar 23, 2010

With maybe one half of one percent exception, it is never good to do business with family or even friends & partnerships with either , even less.
Too many are fine until it comes to money & then they are ONLY for #1 at the exclusion of all else. If you start out thinking that, you will be less likely to be disappointed down the road. Sorry about the way life is, but...

thurlow · Mar 23, 2010

EXACTLY RIGHT; I won't even sell tractors or equipment to family or friends; won't do jobs (for pay) either, 'though I've done lots of stuff for free.

Bob Bancroft · Mar 23, 2010

I know just what you mean and just how you feel, but I can't explain it either. All I can do is agree with your sentiment- WTF !
My view would also be the opposite of you "may have a better friend than you realize". I guess it's all relative. I think I would prefer a landowner/neighbor, regardless of what they decide to do with their land, to these idiot city/welfare people who move out here on 1.5 acres with dogs and ATV's and think that everything is "public" property.

ILLEFTY · Mar 23, 2010

Frusration is when the neighbor sells his farm next to you to a developer for less an acre than you offered him

Anonymous-0 · Mar 23, 2010

Amen to that. I have an MX track that riders bring their bikes out to. The locals from a nearby subdivision seem upset when I tell them they have to sign a waiver and pay to ride. They give me a bad name because they figure they can rip up and down the road and ride where ever they want. I should be a solution to the problem but there's always idiots. I had a woman follow her kid in a truck while he was riding on the county road. She figured it was OK out in the country! It's about a $2500 fine and they impound the bike. My neighbor had a kid riding in his field but didn't want to call the cops because a lot of farmers go on the road with quads. That seems like a double standard to me but a lot of people want special privileges that only apply to them. Any business dealings with family and/or friends has the potentional for things to go south and ruin relationships. There are a few exceptions but not very many. Dave

agpilot · Mar 23, 2010

Hello Dave from MN: I've been in similar deals. The harder part comes on Sunday when the Preacher points his finger towards you and states it's your duty to forgive and show "love" to those who hurt you... That's implyed in the Easter story..
Better luck to you in the future... ag

buickanddeere · Mar 23, 2010

Neighbor beside us had his farm for sale for five years. Seen him in church every Sunday too. He didn't have a "For Sale" sign up because he didn't like the looks of a sign. And didn't need a sign because "everybody knew it was for sale".
He dropped the price and sold the place to the local ultra strict, ultra backwards , ultra miserable Amish. Even left the granary full of oats, never logged the woods/bush/forest. The Amish of course proceeded to yank everything out related to electrical or plumbing.........
Next time I see the old bachelor coot. I might just give him a blast.

bradk · Mar 23, 2010

Confront him about it or it will eat you up.You have the right to know what the reasoning was,then continue or terminate the friendship accordingly.

Bill(Wis) · Mar 23, 2010

Do you think the old axiom "familiarity breeds contempt" entered in? Although it's difficult if not impossible to breed anything without just a little familiarity. (;>)) Or, maybe he is/was jealous and didn't want to see you get ahead, or, maybe he realizes what a losing proposition farming is and didn't want to see you get hurt. All sorts of possibilities.

Anonymous-0 · Mar 23, 2010

The neighbor can do what ever the heck he wants and doesn't have to explain it to anyone unless it was illegal. He doesn't need to confront him. He could ask him but he doesn't have to do it in a mean way. Maybe the neighbor didn't want there to be any strain on the friendship and that's why he never told him and did what he did. Dave

Goose · Mar 23, 2010

What burns me is every winter when there's a few inches of snow on the ground, everyone in the country who owns a snowmobile thinks he has a God given right to run wild over any and every piece of ground in the area.

The fellow who rents our farm ground finally chiseled it last fall and it was too rough for snowmobiles.

Gun guru · Mar 23, 2010

Trust me on this comment-----Good friends dont allow to rent from each other or make binding contracts with each other or buy a car from each other...etc. If you are a good friend then dont ask him why he didnt rent the ground to you.
Lets just say he did rent the ground to you and you blew out 2 tractor tires and he felt bad and so on. (or there was a drought that year or whatever)

Now on that note a friend of mine has been laid off for 5 months now and there is almost no chance of him going back cause his department has been shut down. He has a side business of power washing decks and siding. I will hire him to power wash my garage floor and prep it for epoxy coating once the weather warms up enough, likely in a few weeks. (I need for the cement to dry quickly)

RayP(MI) · Mar 23, 2010

They all want to run on my ALFALFA. I can show you exactly when they went the next summer, because it kills out the alfalfa where they pack down the snow and it becomes ice pack.

bradk · Mar 23, 2010

Interesting view,135 fan.

Guess I personally have a different definition of "lifelong friend" and "neighbor" than you do.

You are correct in saying that he doesn't have to do it in a mean way and I wasn't implying that he did it as such.

The "strain on friendship" card in my opinion is BS and something only high school teenie-boppers can use successfully as an excuse.Grown adults, in this circumstance CAN and DO have business dealings and they work pefectly.

He has a right to know the details,plain and simple.Could make a difference in how he treats his neighbor in the future.

frustration!!

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