phillip d

I was a wondering if you talked to a attorney yet?

I am no expert, but in the state of Iowa you nor your wife has anything to say about custody--a freakin judge who has no idea of anything will determine that issue. It simply can not be your choices.

I had a prenup, but if it was crumbled alot, I could have used it for tissue paper. Judge said finacula matters change, and HE would determine the property division, end of sentence. I personaly can't help but think it should carry some weight.

First baby sitting options go over good in case you aren't awarded custody. She has to call you first to see if you can babysit. Yea, it craps her style having to bring them over, instead of coming home and the kids are sleeping and the baby sitter drives home. Usualy accepted in Iowa courts.

A friend of mine said his prenup was a good thing, but was only married for less than a year.

I don't want to upset you, but like I mentioned before, it is a real eye opener to learn the law once this all starts down the tube. Just tryiong to let ya down easy.

Start grabbing and securing every record, canceled check, credit card recipts etc, that you can possibly find--you may need them later, and give them to her attorney only after a court order to do so.

Right now she has other things in mind, so all the details of assests aren't real important at this moment.

But don't be dumb in thinking she may not have a little nest egg set aside from a preplaned agenda.

And ya know she is talking to others, and getting ideas also.

The cheapest thing you can do is contact other guys, and galls that have recently gone through your ordeal. They do not charge for their past fact finding missions, and advise from their attorneys. You will drop dead when you get your attorneys bill, then you will learn how to use him only for important issues, not a shoulder to cry on.

You may want to disolve this with out a fight if both parties agree -- a win win for both of you, lose lose for your attorneys.

Never take my advise or anyone elses as a Pure fact, comon sence and awareness is your friend.

Comon sence is unheard of in most court rooms, and you will wonder what the heck is going on in the leagal system.

thanks for the great advice.saw my lawyer today and he feels I'm in rare good shape.

Great to hear, best of luck, and give the kids a extra hug, they need it just as bad as you do.

Sure will and sure do.All that's left to do is keep our heads up,keep a journal.Whatever happens will happen.We'll all live in the end and get over it.Legally there's nothing left to be done to protect our rights.Hope things keep going well for her and her new friend and in a years time she will hopefully be in so big of a hurry to be divorced she will be reasonable to deal with.

best of luck to you and the children

Sorry, you used divorce, and reasonable in the same sentence.

If all else fails in a small town, you can start a rumor, that you did not destroy those photos of her like you promised her you would. Or that you do actualy have photos if plan A doesn't work. She is already aware of the internets capabilities.