OT: Controlling Blood Pressure

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

Willrogers.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket

</a> Will Rogers once said <big>[i:654c4848f0]"A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people."</big>[/i:654c4848f0]

I have done the reading, now I want to learn from associating with smarter people on this forum.

Appropriate comments are always welcome.
Controlling Blood Pressure

Glen D Anderson · Feb 26, 2009

Thanks for lightening up the mood James!

Things get a little too intense around here sometimes and now we know a way of helping people to calm down a bit...........

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

Or at least a way to get them to leave the room!

Hills of TN · Feb 26, 2009

I can see it now - D. Boone Pickens patenting a miniature version of the Alaskan Pipeline to be installed in all old men. Just think, he will have cured hypertension for all mankind and solved the nation's energy crisis all at the same time!

(Puts a new perspective on the his devotion to wind energy.)

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

You make a very good point about the miniature pipeline being installed in old men like me.

Looks good on paper, butt sounds like a real pain in the a** to me!

Old Roy · Feb 26, 2009

I guess that's why the ladies are irritable sometimes cause they don't do that.in public, Guess BP too high? OOPS Here comes Nancy!!! ----- By !!!

Nancy Howell · Feb 26, 2009

Well, sorry to disappoint. Guess I'm not a lady anymore. I'd rather eat what I want and be comfortable and happy. If someone other than James doesn't like it, I don't really care.

GeneMO · Feb 26, 2009

Well some of us got to talking about lighting farts and well one thing led to another. I am proud to say that I shot a flame about 5 inches.

Thought I caught my crotch on fire. We laughed till we cried.

It is very flammable

Gene

Anonymous-0 · Feb 26, 2009

Every one should carry a snack size tin of baked beans in their pocket but the only drawback I can see is global warming,You will have to wear a meter so that the appropriate emission taxes can be applied.

Save the $49 by turning into a Horse.
Apparently patting a Horse on the face and shoulder has no effect but there is a "calming" spot at the lower end of the wither which relaxes the animal.

You could see there was going to be bite, same old modus operandi.Blah Blah..
but he did say NO MEDICAL fees...it's all in the language.
You would have thought , if there was any credence in the claim, the Government would be onto it.

Paul from MI · Feb 26, 2009

Kind of surprised at this conversation. Ladies don't f**t, they can't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up any back pressure!! Or at least that's what Dad always said.
LOL
Paul

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

Several months ago a couple of my female coworkers were conversing in Spanish, making some obvious descriptive noises, and laughing very heartily.

I stuck my head in the breakroom and said "I did not understand a word you were saying, but I know what you were talking about."

All of us laughed until we cried.

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

Years and years ago during my failed marriage, my ex-mother-in-law always referred to me as "her daughter's first husband."

Thank goodness she was right!

I gave her the nickname "Flapping Lips".

There were times she b!tched at me so much I thought she was going to hyperventilate!

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

Saw that happen one night during one of the many "campouts" we had way back in Junior High.

Poor kid lit the match, then could not "pass gass", and set his underwear/drawers on fire while waiting/trying to synchronize the process.

Why are some things so much funnier when you get older?

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

Reminds me of the old joke we learned in Junior High.

Why do the only put 239 beans in a can?

One more bean would make it two-f@rty!

jared in wi · Feb 26, 2009

I just want to be sure I understand this...
If I fart, I am lowering my blood pressure, correct?

So if farting lowers my blood pressure, does that mean that the really rotten ones lower it more than the not so stinky ones?

Jared

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

Thanks for all of your comments.

I apologize to those of you that couldn't "smell" this one coming!

HENRY E NC · Feb 26, 2009

In our family (back in the 30's and 40's) my uncles and grandfather used to hold farting contests on Sunday afternoon after dinner. They would grade them for smell and loudness. One time they got the idea to try to lite one so the best farter was chsen and someone held a lighter and when it went off it burned all the hair off of my uncles back. Women came in asking what was that terrible smell. Henry

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

That is what the medical research confirms!

Next time you get in an argument, don't get all worked up and raise your blood pressure.

Just turn around and "cut one loose" in the general direction of the one that does not share or respect your opinion.

This "passive" form of mediation will often bring someone to tears and stop the argument.

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

With all due respect, that is not funny.

It is hillarious!

Now that's entertainment!

joe-etx · Feb 26, 2009

james to control blood presure in texas.(if running cattle,baling hay).is move . too many things change,as the weather does.i say sell it all,buy a snow blower and move north.been there and want it back after 35 years

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

You are exactly right about Texas weather.

Calling for a high of 82<sup>o</sup> on Friday afternoon.

Calling for a low of 32<sup>o</sup> on Sunday morning.

Got to love this weather in Texas.

Which part of the Republic are you from?

joe-etx · Feb 26, 2009

oh the litle town of tyler

GA Dave · Feb 26, 2009

Thanks James. I didn't know untill now I was a "gasotransmitter". You learn something new every day. David................

pete black · Feb 26, 2009

as a kid we would chant:
beans, beans
good for your heart
the more you eat
the more you fart

730 virgil · Feb 26, 2009

that was my first m-i-l.
i once told mrs 730's mom Ev i've had 2 m-i-laws
the first m-i-l was from hall this time i got a good one.
i couldn't have got a better m-i-l.

James Howell · Feb 26, 2009

Now that's a new word to work into a conversation during the staff meeting tomorrow!

Anonymous-0 · Feb 26, 2009

Verse 2:
The more you fart, the better you feel, so eat your beans at every meal..

Anonymous-0 · Feb 27, 2009

Ma'am, your son rip is on line toot!...

Traditional Farmer · Feb 27, 2009

Well I can see a couple of dangers in lowering blood pressure that way 1)Its a long walk home after lower your blood pressure in a crowded car
2)Accidently getting a live round in the gas chamber before firing.

pete black · Feb 27, 2009

do you think any girls have ever tried to light a fart?

Nancy Howell · Feb 27, 2009

We're not that stupid.

Nancy Howell · Feb 27, 2009

no, it was beans, beans the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot. The more your t.. the better you feel, lets have beans for every meal.

OT: Controlling Blood Pressure

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