O/T What would you do if ?

Jim H SW-PA · Jan 23, 2009

You had a friend, and in helping to build confidence in himself to be able to do things in a good moral fashion, then all of a sudden he changes into someone that is destroying all the confidence and respect that you or I had for him, by degrading himself to the world.

I was invited to his house, didn't like some of the things there. The more I see the less respect I can show.

I don't want to be this way, but he is definitely on a path of self destruction of his character.
He even cuts himself down to make people think he is a lesser human to the world not realizing the future consequences.

I'd really like to help this person to stay on the right path, but he basically told me to get lost.

Give me some input and maybe we can all help him together.

Dave from MN · Jan 23, 2009

Bring him to mass this Sunday. Tell him straight up what you admire or admired about him. Tell him what you see. Always be positive when talking with him and in your behavior. Positive influences rub off to others. What I have always done when some one cuts themselves down is counter with positive and admiral things you see in them. If you don't even acknowledge he says negative things he may think you agree with them. Again, bring him to mass this weekend.

Jim H SW-PA · Jan 23, 2009

I would if i could , but he is involved in a church already. Seems to have a very Good Pastor.
I don't know if he talks of any of his problems to her or not. May just sit and listen ,but not hearing . [if you know what I mean?]

paul · Jan 23, 2009

You can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink.

If you are providing a high road & it is ignored, then you are trying. Can't do much more.

Be available if help is asked of you, but you can't force the issue - it has to come from the other side.

A way too simplistic answer to what is probably pretty complicated thing, but it's all there is.

--->Paul

Larry59 · Jan 23, 2009

Be very careful with this type of person. For they can bring you down also. Some might say no way can one do that to you. But it can happen and has happen to others. So just back off. If he or she wants your help. Let them ask for it now. For you have tried and that was all that mattered.
Also just cause they go to church don't mean any thing in how they really are in life.

GeneMO · Jan 23, 2009

You said he was a friend. So if your were down and out, had nothing, would he give you his shirt?

Sometimes, who we thing are friend, may not fit the bill.

Gene

dmiller · Jan 23, 2009

I had a roommate in college who a friend and I tried for nearly two years to help. After I had tried everything I could think of I was reading in John (16 or 17) where Jesus says about the coming of the Holy Spirit. He said that one of the things the Holy Spirit does is "to convict the world of guilt in regards to sin". I started praying this for my friend. Christ changed his life a few months later.

Anonymous-0 · Jan 23, 2009

You've got to know what you should do....... Taking him to church where sister Bertha Betterthanyou can look down her nose at him may just push him farther over the edge. Maybe he just needs a friend to shake the p!ss out of him and tell him to straighten his act up.

Good Luck,

Dave

Anonymous-0 · Jan 23, 2009

might stop and visit with pastor. sometimes the more we do is bad. someone else can help a lot of times it,s an outsider. there are people trained to do this I pray for the person. went thro with a neighbor many years ago

Jim H SW-PA · Jan 23, 2009

I understand what your saying,but this young man has a whole lifetime to pay for his actions now. I don't want him to go through that pain.
He don't do drugs or drink, but in some respects he is killing the only thing he has left and that is a chance to build a good name for himself.

He thinks and talks pretty good to some of his mentors, and at the same time is destroying himself and not realizing it. just to show his peers what he can do.

Anonymous-0 · Jan 24, 2009

PRAY,PRAY.PRAY................

Anonymous-0 · Jan 24, 2009

Catholic religion is the Biggest Cult in the USA, a cult will never do anything good for you, the guy he's talking about, is possessed by a Demon = and Cult's are demonized.

Anonymous-0 · Jan 24, 2009

The Guy is Demonized ..

Anonymous-0 · Jan 24, 2009

I can see he's attending a Cult Church,, Women Pastors is Against (God) and His Word, the Bible.

Anonymous-0 · Jan 24, 2009

You have the Right Idea,, ONLY the Bible is our Guidance in Life, not Man --- the Word Bible means, ( Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) keep up the good work ....

MarkB_MI · Jan 24, 2009

If your friend is bound towards self-destruction, there is little you can say or do now to prevent it. It will only be after he realizes for himself what he has become that he may turn himself around. Be there for him if and when this day comes. In the meantime, you have to detach yourself from him. If you stick around now you are only enabling his behavior.

trucker40 · Jan 24, 2009

If he doesnt know when somebody is trying to help him,dont help him.No matter how hard you try,or how much you want to help,it will happen when he wants to let it happen if he ever does.

rrlund · Jan 24, 2009

Do what he said and walk away. Wanting to help change somebody from self destruction is like dating a troubled woman. Every guy wants to be Prince Charming and save Cinderella from the troubled life she's living. This guy has you roped in to thinking you need to "save" him. Looks like it's only in your mind though. He doesn't want your help and has said so.

Matt in WA · Jan 24, 2009

Most Daring,
You are as fanatical as a Shiite nnalert, with your bashing of other Christian denominations. Look at the plank in your own eye before you try to remove the speck from your brothers eye. It is Pharisees and Saducees like you that lead to so much religious friction in the world.

dmiller · Jan 24, 2009

The Bible is also clear "let your gentleness be evident to all", I don't agree with your other posts.

Anonymous-0 · Jan 24, 2009

Yes --- The Bible is VERY CLEAR, and Jesus Christ is our Example, as HE Called the Pharisess and Sadducees VIPERS, and today, we follow that example when we find Vipers,
I ask --- are you a Viper ??????????????????

IT'S NOT ME your disagreeing with -- it's the Bible == think about it !!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt in WA · Jan 24, 2009

M. Daring:
You probably mean well, but your judgemental attitude does not serve you well. Also, you may be surprised at the Resurrection that there are people there of many faiths. Jesus came to seek the lost, such as this gentleman described here... your fire and brimstone will likely not bring him healing.

Anonymous-0 · Jan 24, 2009

Most daring guest who doesn't have the fortitude to register at this site, sometimes people who are heavenly oriented, aren't worth much on earth!

Anonymous-0 · Jan 24, 2009

(quoted from post at 18:42:11 01/24/09) sometimes people who are heavenly oriented, aren't worth much on earth!

[color=red:2e1a419d03][size=24:2e1a419d03][b:2e1a419d03]AMEN!!!!!!![/b:2e1a419d03][/size:2e1a419d03][/color:2e1a419d03]

Dave

barn E · Jan 24, 2009

Sometimes you gotta hit rock bottom before you realize you are on the way down. Also to find Jesus, you have to be chosen, and to be chosen you have to be seeking and searching and listening. If you say no to God, he will respect your wishes and leave you be.

Anonymous-0 · Jan 24, 2009

Don't misunderstand....... I'm not saying no, just agreeing with Dave's take on some holy rollers. I interviewed a guy once that showed up with a nice shiney Bible with about a thousand page markers. Talking about how the Lord directed him to apply and he just had a blessed feeling.......
I figured that if he knew what was in the Bible, he wouldn't have needed the page markers (and the Bible would have looked like it had been used a little) and didn't want to hire him based on honesty. We needed someone though and picked him up. 4 weeks later, caught him dipping in the cash register.

dieseldoc · Jan 24, 2009

you cant help someone that wont help themselves. btdt

BLinWMI · Jan 25, 2009

I don't know how you figure there will be people of many faiths at the Resurrection, my Bible says in Christs own words " I am the way, the Truth and the Life, no man cometh unto the Father but by Me". That mean Buddha ainta a gonna do it, no Haria Krishna nor Mohammad. The all inclusive feel good theology is hogwash.

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