The Rules of the Eastern Shore are as Follows: Listen up City Slickers!
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup
truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive,you're going to
get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to
you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?
Stay on the west side of the bay bridge!
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn
pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person on the Eastern Shore waves. We think of it as being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming
in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have
it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. We steam our crabs
after catchin' 'em. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available
at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday held the first Saturday after Thanksgiving.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless
of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak; Or
you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &
turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats
(includes fish), vegetables, and breads. We use four spices: salt,
pepper, Old Bay and ketchup.
13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
over ice.
14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how
to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it
spooks the fish.
16.Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities,
Community Colleges along with private Colleges. They come outta there
with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave
at everybody when they come for the holidays.
17. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the
best.
18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't
music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see
your boxers. Refer back to #1.
19. 2 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some
sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and toilet paper from
the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to live
a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have
you out the next day.
A true Eastern Shoreman will send this on!!!
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup
truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive,you're going to
get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to
you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?
Stay on the west side of the bay bridge!
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn
pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person on the Eastern Shore waves. We think of it as being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming
in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have
it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. We steam our crabs
after catchin' 'em. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available
at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday held the first Saturday after Thanksgiving.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless
of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak; Or
you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &
turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats
(includes fish), vegetables, and breads. We use four spices: salt,
pepper, Old Bay and ketchup.
13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
over ice.
14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how
to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it
spooks the fish.
16.Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities,
Community Colleges along with private Colleges. They come outta there
with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave
at everybody when they come for the holidays.
17. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the
best.
18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't
music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see
your boxers. Refer back to #1.
19. 2 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some
sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and toilet paper from
the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to live
a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have
you out the next day.
A true Eastern Shoreman will send this on!!!
