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OT: Kids say the darnest things

G

Gun guru

Well-known Member
Last week my 7 year old son says as we are in the Mcdonalds drive thru lane and looking out the window: "Dad look an eagle" Ahhhh.....Son that is a seagull they eat garbage. He says Oh, okay.
A few months ago my son and I were driving through a strip mall parking lot and he says: "Dad did you see that big fat lady"
A few weeks ago my son asks my wife: "Mommy why are you so fat" My wife was real upset about that comment. I of course told my son that comments like that are mean and to never say that again.
And for the best one. 2 years ago my son and I came into the house and I put all the mail on the kitchen table and a Victoria Secret catalog was in the pile and my son starts flipping the pages: He says in a shocked voice "Dad I see her belly button" then he flips a few more pages and says "Dad I see her boobies" I wanted to laugh my *ss off but I just through the catalog in the trash.
 
A couple of weeks ago, my 6 year old daughter was in the front yard with me and we were looking at the horses in the pasture across the road. About that time, the stud horse decides one of the mares required his services. My daughter says, "Daddy what are they doing!" I said,.....um well, they're making a baby.

She quickly replies.."Wow, I already see it's leg sticking out!"

Exactly.
 
Although the eagle is held in high regard it's dietary and behavioural habits might be a bit harder to stomach. My own observations of Bald Eagles in their natural setting (national park) mirror this portion of a Wikipedia entry on the birds.
"The Bald Eagle's diet is opportunistic and varied, but most feed mainly on fish. In the Pacific Northwest, spawning trout and salmon provide most of the Bald Eagles' diet.[21] Locally, eagles may rely largely on carrion, especially in winter, and they will scavenge carcasses up to the size of whales, though it seems that carcasses of ungulates and large fish are preferred. They also may sometimes feed on subsistence scavenged or stolen from campsites and picnics, as well as garbage dumps."
They also like to steal from other birds of prey.
 
When my boys were young,the neighbor had an old John Deere round baler that didn't pack real tight to start with. He didn't put but one wrap of twine on them at that. The boys were riding with my dad one miserable hot summer day and the youngest was just old enough to kind of be aware of what was going on around him. He said "look Grandpa,those bales are melting".
 
Mom says that when I was about 4 and Grandpa died, she over prepared my brother and I for the funeral. She made sure that we knew we would see Grandpa and he would look like he was sleeping. When I got out of the car at the funeral home I said, "Finally, we're going to see Grandpa dead!"
 
I remember years ago we were hanging around the horse stable and one of the ponies got a erection.A young lad turned to his father a said"look dad it works like a hydraulic"! LOL Haven't forgot that one in 35 years.
Vito
 
having a house party and told my 4 year old that Miss Keri her teacher was coming as a guest and she would have to behave. She said "but dad it"s the weekend"
 
Probably 35-40 years ago, my father-in-law, my son and I were driving along a country road. In the field there were a boar and a sow in the breeding process.

My son said, "Grandpa, what are those hogs doing?". My father-in-law calmly replied, "The ground around here is so hard that it takes two hogs to root".

End of question.

Stan
 
I was about five and my Mother took me to my first communion. At the appropriate time the ushers, dressed in very fine black suits came up all the isles with silver trays full of tiny goblets, filled with Mogen David wine, and passed these trays to the individual at the end of the pew. He would take a glass, and pass the tray down. When the "usher" arrived at our pew, I asked in a very loud voice, "Is that the butler?"

Gordo
 
I was about five and my Mother took me to my first communion. At the appropriate time the ushers, dressed in very fine black suits came up all the isles with silver trays full of tiny goblets, filled with Mogen David wine, and passed these trays to the individual at the end of the pew. He would take a glass, and pass the tray down. When the "usher" arrived at our pew, I asked in a very loud voice, "Is that the butler?"

Gordo
 
My daughter was just over 4 years old, when this church event occurred. I am not a very frequent churchgoer, but this was a Christmas service. When they began the collection, I looked in my wallet and had a 50, couple of 20's and 13 ones. So I took the 13 ones, gave them to my daughter, and told her to put them in the basket when they put it in front of us. Well, the usher put the basket in front of her and she took the bills and started putting them in there, counting them as she did in a proud clear voice. "ONE, TWO, THREE", all the way, slowly and deliberately.
She did end up winning the math award in Middle school and High school of over 500 students!

Gordo
 
My wife tells the story that when her and her sister were little girls they were riding through the countryside in a car with her grandma and great aunt.They came upon a bull mounted on a cow.My wife asks "grandma what are they doing".Grandma says "just playin leap frog".They laughed about that for years.I sure miss her grandma.She was a tuff old West Virginian.Mark
 
One of my boys stated that you get post holes at the post office. Also that hamburger comes from hogs cause the have hams.
 
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