Went to see Susan at the nurseing home yesterday. She has been there a month.She is happy and content. The staff and residents love her. She is well cared for. She is now confined to a wheelchair.She is in her own little world. I'm not sure if she knew who I was,she frequently confuses me with her father or brother.Time seems to have no meaning. I dont think she even realizes just where she is.The visits now seem to be more for my benefit than hers. Breaks my heart.
- Thread starter DeltaRed
- Start date
I empathize with you. My wife of 62 years has been in a long term care facility for three years with dementia. Last Friday's visit was a total failure as, for the hour I was there, she couldn't be awakened at all. Sunday's visit was slightly better, she did come awake for short intervals, but made little sense. She seemed to be living far in the past. It's tough to experience.
Janicholson
Well-known Member
The visits with Susan is for her. She may well be confused about your identity, but in our hearts, our minds place all loved ones in the same pidgin hole. when we mis-speak a name in our family or friends calling them a different loved ones name, it is still from the batch of cherished people, and very important. I have called my son my brother's name and vice versa since he was 15. I just say oops. Susan is cared for and happy, so your visits contribute to that by being in the category of loved. Take from it the gift you give. If you do it won't get harder, it will get less stressful. Even when eventually she can't place you at all, you are a source something different and therefor adding to the daily stimulation in her life. Peace and memories to you and Susan. Jim
larry@stinescorner
Well-known Member
x2 from NJ
Bruce from Can.
Well-known Member
- Location
- Woodville, Ontario, Canada
While we have never met, I sense from post you have written that you are a man with great deal of compassion and deep inner strength. And these traits that have gotten you this far, will help you to care on. Best wishes to both you and your wife. Bruce
philcaseinWPA
Member
prayers for you and Susan
Mrs 730 had M S it was hard o see that girl I loved so much fall apart.
One time I took her little dog with me lots of people saw Josie and were excited to see her lots of them said what a nice puppy Josie might weigh
12 pounds I sat Josie down on Mrs 730 bed she laid next to her and went to sleep.
Wen we got her Mrs 730 didn't know if she wanted a puppy was a good match for both of them.
Susan is very special name Mrs 730 name was Susan most people called her Susie girl friend is Susan goes by Sue
Pray a lot it helps trust me I will pray for your Susan and you.
One time I took her little dog with me lots of people saw Josie and were excited to see her lots of them said what a nice puppy Josie might weigh
12 pounds I sat Josie down on Mrs 730 bed she laid next to her and went to sleep.
Wen we got her Mrs 730 didn't know if she wanted a puppy was a good match for both of them.
Susan is very special name Mrs 730 name was Susan most people called her Susie girl friend is Susan goes by Sue
Pray a lot it helps trust me I will pray for your Susan and you.
My grandfather developed colon cancer very late in life (80 yrs old) just as his father. He simply wasted away at home for months; it was really hard to understand as he was the most active and healthy person I had ever been around.
In his last weeks he was hospitalized and regressed into a mental state years in the past. He had conversations with my mother as if she was his mother or his sister.
I ll never forget when took a sip from that typical hospital mug filled with only ice and tap water. He remarked how it was the best well water he had ever had and ensured we all had a sip to share. He passed not a week after.
While it was hard for us, I have quite some confidence that he was where he was meant to be mentally. Happy and healthy circa 1950 with all the loved ones that went before him.
It gave me peace. I pray that you have the same.
In his last weeks he was hospitalized and regressed into a mental state years in the past. He had conversations with my mother as if she was his mother or his sister.
I ll never forget when took a sip from that typical hospital mug filled with only ice and tap water. He remarked how it was the best well water he had ever had and ensured we all had a sip to share. He passed not a week after.
While it was hard for us, I have quite some confidence that he was where he was meant to be mentally. Happy and healthy circa 1950 with all the loved ones that went before him.
It gave me peace. I pray that you have the same.
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