Can finally talk of it. Longish.

Saw another's post concerning life changing event. It gave me courage to tell my yr long issues. My wife of 20yrs was diagnosed with her 4th cancer in 7/22. The cancer was found between back bone and stomach. Tumor are into stomach wall leaking poison in. A 20 Guage feeding tube was installed to use as a drain into a bag. Chemo started mid Aug. 1st treatment caused both lungs getting blood clots. I am a 3d shifter at local universary. Not much Vaca time doing to appointments and such. For 4 nights I work go 20 miles to sit with wife. Go home midday to sleep then start over. 8/27/22 I was on way home had a 1 car accident. Cause was sleep or low blood sugar. Minor repair to right eye socket. Neck damage that was started with age and misspent youth. C4,5,6, removed and fused in 3/23. Now hardest repair coming. Right reverse shoulder replacement. Of 4 major muscles in shoulder I only have deltoid in place. This has left that arm with extreme limited range of motion and strength. Unless I can spider walk right figures above shoulder height I can't reach. Left shoulder had a muscle tear in 2020 that hadn't fully healed but wasn't terrible.till now. During all my issues Shelly was cleared of clots and went back to chemo.2 days a week.at that time she showed no sign of being sick. Then April came. Stronger chemo needed. 3 treatments their goes hair. Week break she wants to see smokies. Easter weekend takes us to gatlingburg. Sunday she can't even get out of bed. Turning yellow. Monday come home talking to Dr. While driving. Says take her to our hospital. Tests show liver
Bile duct is partially blocked, 2 more drain tube installed pencil sized. That was start of the end. Weaknes sickness. I was able to keep her home.last week friends helped with bathing as I was afraid I would drop her. I lost her 232pm 5/17/2023. Her 4 siblings became vultures trying to take things before she past. I had to call for help to keep them in room with me or on front deck. At service they took plants and garden art that was to go to my house. It was on card with. Since I been alone.i have a brother but his family and work keep him on his toes. Cousins are to far away. Friends that were helping have stepped back are there if needed. As a 57 yr old I'm really scared for my future. I am so limited in what I can do. Will it get better? Dr says I should go to a nursing facility with physical therepy for 12 weeks. I am asking for prayers because i appreciate you all for the uplifting comments. This is an awesome group. Bless and pray for the folks that need the help and the folks that are providing help and care. This is the 1st I been able to tell this. Sorry so long.

Not too long ago someone told me that Jesus was just outside my door. All I had to do was open the door and let him in. I did, and he and his will have been with me since.
I will pray that you might do the same.
The Bible is teaching me to live with lifes pain and burden.
Ill pray that you find peace, wisdom, and understanding.

I can't really relate to your unfortunate circumstances, but it seems talking about your situations is a good step. You're still young and giving up is not a solution. Hang in there and find help and peace for yourself without worry about other people. Have faith and find a good Church to help you along. May God bless you, Michael

Prayers sent. The other poster is right, all you have to do is open that door. Help may not be immediate but you will feel a peace you've never known my friend

Prayers and condolences sent. I hope you have a good and speedy recovery.

I'm so sorry for your loss and the troubles that have followed. You speak of your late wife's family, but it's clear to me you were the only family she had.

By writing this post, things should start getting a little better. Hang in there.

I'm sorry to read that your wife passed away, and of the surgery you face. Prayers sent for you in all of that.

It seems like during your recovery, nursing home care with therapy, is a good idea.

We send our heartfelt condolences for the loss of your wife. Prayers for your healing, peace, and comfort.

Well that explains why I haven't seen you around Mike. I don't know how much help I can be 50 miles away, but I'm pulling for you.

SO sorry to hear all of this. I will pray for you. Pick up the phone and call your friends even if they can not visit you. Please post on YT more. Tell us why you are interested in tractors. We are all here for you. Bill

What Robin hood Sleepy and Keith posted.

So sad to hear Sir.
Prayers sent for healing.
Physical, mental, and emotional healing.

Sorry to hear that Mike. Hang in there and keep your head up. Praying for peace and comfort for you. Richard

Praying for your healing and peace.

Well said, x2.

We are all pulling for you.My problems are nothing compared to yours.Keep your chin up. Keeping you in my prayers.Steve

Tough news. All you can do is all you can do. Don't beat yourself up.

Prayers sent. Life has been giving you its worst but you are still standing. Dont worry about being afraid. Real courage is doing what you need to do even as fear grips you. Just keep on focusing on today & tomorrow

Thoughts and prayers.

What ever you do, I'd figure out a way to do that physical therapy. Whether or not you stay in the nursing home to make that happen, I'd make an effort to participate and accomplish the physical therapy. Without it, you'll stay the same physically. I've known to many that have ignored the PT or didn't go through with it till the end, and it proved out to not be the thing to do. Then it is, just live with whatever ailment after that. When it comes to PT, nobody is gonna do that part for ya and make things right. It's you that needs to participate and do it.

If your not a church goer, this might be a good time. You might find something missing in your life there. If you are a church goer, let this story be known there, and put yourself on thier prayer list. Something about Christian fellowship is the best kind of fellowship out there.

Sometimes when a loved one is lost, it seems the whole world has come to an end. But if you give it some time and look around, you'll see that it hasn't. Might require a lot of time, but don't quit on the looking around. Just look at all the concerns, thoughts, and prayers you see here. They wouldn't be here if you didn't share your story here, and more importantly, done some looking around.

Keep on looking. And more importantly, keep on keeping on.