helping others

Hoofer B · Jan 8, 2022

The post below about lending a trailer to help get a guy back on his feet got me thinking. This Forum has a lot of great people on here so I am sure we have all helped out many people. I have given many people jobs who were down on their luck. Some worked out, most did not. People always found ways to ruin their lives. We would offer good advice to them and then they would do the opposite. I could write a book on it. I hate to give up on people, but I don't need others dragging me down. I am the bad guy here? Bill

tractorsam · Jan 8, 2022

I dont think youre the bad guy here. In my experience (albeit less than most here as Im on the younger end of the spectrum) most people have wound up where they are for a reason. If youre going to do well, youll get there despite the challenges the world throws your way, and of course the opposite is also true. At the same point I think it is nice to help when one can. I have received help in the past and hope Ive not given anyone cause to regret it. I have tried helping others and it seems the harder Ive tried the more Ive regretted it. Sam

coonie minnie · Jan 8, 2022

I'm in the same boat, I employ about 20 people. I've given lots of chances... some make something of it, others don't. And I've put up with a lot of stuff others wouldn't, either. But I try to be fair. That's about all you can do.

If the guy needing the trailer below can't find a job now (when was the last time you drove by a business that wasn't hiring?) he's a lost cause. That may sound harsh, but it's the truth.

J Hamilton · Jan 8, 2022

I agree with you. It sounds more like he wants a paycheck, not a job.

Bruce from Can. · Jan 8, 2022

I try to be helpful when I can, but never have had anyone come looking for a job at my farm. Guess it looks too much like work. Youre a good guy Bill, and we cant help it if we want others to work hard and prosper as we have. Its just the way we were raised.

VicS · Jan 8, 2022

I was the person at our church that delivered the check for Help Your Neighbor Fund. If you can do that and not shed a tear, your a better man than me. Remember WWJD.

docmirror · Jan 8, 2022

I give complex technical advise for a living. I'm paid to be an SME on very complex stuff, and paid well, for what we charge customers. I have customers beg me for solutions all the time for multi-million dollar installations. So - about 30% of the time they ignore the diagnosis and try to do things the fast, easy, or cheap way.

It used to bug me. After about 20 years now, I got used to it. Soooooooo many post-incident meetings devolve to; 'but, why didn't you do XXXXXXX'? To which I reply all the time - 'I advised that back 2 months ago, documented it, presented it, and the company decided to 'go another way'.

sms · Jan 8, 2022

We have helped quite a few in the past. Some really needed it and were very appreciative others not so much. Feels good when you see it go to a good cause. Unless you really know, you take your chances.

Traditional Farmer · Jan 8, 2022

No not a bad guy at all.Some people just choose to be on the wrong track in life and enabling them won't help them or you.

coonie minnie · Jan 8, 2022

Excellent comment. We all need to do more of that!

coonie minnie · Jan 8, 2022

Your point on the post below was a great one, too. Going along is probably more what the guy needs than anything else.

SVcummins · Jan 8, 2022

I help anybody and everybody I can

Billy Shafer · Jan 8, 2022

This is what I have been through. During the last year. I have had another attack from the Agent Orange problem I have. Several have helped me with money. I feel odd taking the money. But several have told me I have nothing to feel odd about. You served your country in combat and made it home alive. You and the ones like you.

Deserve all the help you can get. During my two months stay in the hospital/rehab unit. I had plenty of time to think. I feel bad about needing the help. But it was out of my control. Learning to walk again was not fun. I would not wish those two months on anyone.

aFORDable · Jan 8, 2022

Speaking of helping others I live about 5 miles from Mayfield, Ky. where the EF4 tornado hit a month ago. I have witnessed people and goods coming from all over this country to help feed, bring loads of supplies and equipment and do clean up. It has helped restore my confidence in our country. Race, ethnicity, gender, age, religion, economics, etc. takes a furlough in a disaster. Sad it takes that sometimes.

MeAnthony · Jan 8, 2022

If someone is in a jam and willing to help themselves, then I'm all for it. Stuff happens to all of us; sometimes it is stuff we create ourselves but if someone realizes their mistake and wants to change it, I'm fine with that.
If someone just wants a handout, no. Me giving you stuff isn't going to make you suddenly grow up and be responsible. You going hungry in some way.... well that just might help you understand the facts of life.

This is the conversation I've had several times with my 20-year old son, who hasn't graduated from high school (simply doesn't do the homework. It's not that he doesn't understand the subject matter; what little he turns in is A/B quality work but he only does about 10% of the assignments), won't get a job and is living with his girlfriend in her mom's 2-bedroom apartment.

ArleninOr · Jan 9, 2022

That why you gave me a push out of your driveway?!!!!LOL

SVcummins · Jan 9, 2022

Crazy Horse · Jan 9, 2022

No matter what situation a person is in, even if you think it's of their own choosing, be careful in passing judgement too quickly. There can be all sorts of factors and reasons for some to be in tough situations that you are unaware of and don't forget that most of us here are lucky to get where we are what with having a strong upbringing in a family that had things under control. Many are not that lucky .... just my two cents.

Ellis Kinney · Jan 9, 2022

Summer a year ago I passed a guy out of gas, turned around to see if I could help. Drove to the farm and brought back 5 gallons of gas. I asked him to bring back the can with gas in it the next time he went by. Haven't seen him yet. I thought I was being generous and trusting, but others on this forum criticized me for asking something in return. He seemed appreciative at the time. Ellis

redforlife · Jan 9, 2022

I have helped quit a number of people over the years. Rich, poor, good, bad, needed it, didn't need it. Just a wide range of different kinds of people. And one thing always seemed to ring true. When I needed a little help in return, they all seemed to have something else to do at the time.
For instance, just this last fall, I drove a friend's grain truck. Helped him all through harvest. Hauled about 90% of his grain to town. I kept track of my hours to bill him later. Anyways, my vehicle was broke down. Needed a ride to town to pick up a part at parts store that was there waiting. Called up this friend to give me a ride into town. Nope, couldn't do it. He was going out to deer hunt. I hadn't even billed him yet for the harvest help. Sometimes it makes you wonder just what the he!! people are thinking! Makes you almost want to not help Anyone AT ALL.

Bruce(OR) · Jan 9, 2022

I think you and I have the same neighbor. I loaned him a Dual burner Mr Buddy Heater when the power went out and about a dozen cans of propane. That was a year ago. Haven't seen them back yet.

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