True But Funny

A Young man, probably driving only for a short time drove into my driveway looking for a job about 25 years ago. I said to him that the van he is driving sure is smoking. He replied, He didn't know why because he has been adding oil to the engine and the gauge just doesn't go up. LOL
 
So, did you hire him?

I remember one time when I was just a kid, probably a teen, I was on a service call to get a broke down car going.

The driver didn't think I knew what I was doing. He was running back and forth asking questions. At one point he takes the oil cap off and says "That's what's wrong, there's no oil in it. See how dry it is in there!"
 
My nephew is not mechanically inclined. His Dad told me one day his kid was getting ready to leave when Dad asked him if he had checked the oil lately. Kid said no and proceeded to open the hood and then walk back to the shed for a quart of oil. He dumped it in and walked back to the shed for another quart and dumped it in and then went back a got a 3rd quart and dumped it in. Then his dad figured it was time to investigate, it was way over full. Kid thought it was like a lawn mower, fill it up until you could see oil in the fill hole.
 
Many years ago I was working in the parts department of an AC dealer. I customer sent his son for some bolts, I asked what size he said 'manure spreader bolts'. That's as far as we got, boy went home empty handed.
 
A pretty young blond walked into Napa and told the counter man she needed a new 710 for her car. The parts man said that he didn't know what a 710 was. The blond said that every car had one and he should have one for her. He told her that he had never heard of a 710 and that she would have to show him what she wanted, so they walk out to her car and she opened the hood and pointed to the oil fill cap. The guy took the 710 and turned it around and said , do you mean oil??
 
Many years ago I sent my helper to get baler sheer pins . Helper back with a list of 50 different kinds of shear bolts I said ask the idiot what have I been buying the last 10 years and what have we bought for the last 40? Never replaced one of those other shear pins ever once but the parts msn couldnt figure it out
 
I was at a parts store and the owners daughter came in and asked if they could fix her flat tire. After she was reassured they would us gentlemen offed to get the tire for her. She told us no its not heavy it doesnt have any air in it
 

My mechanic also has a parts store and swears this is true. Said a person came in looking for some part for a GOOLIE. My friend said, "What is a GOOLIE?" The guy said, "I've got it outside--come and look." They went out and the guy pointed to the trunk, where it said 'Pontiac-- 6000 LE'.
 
Maybe 20 or so years ago I was in a parts store ordering a timing set for a 65 jeep. A guy walked up to the counter and set what was left of 2 brake rotors on the counter and wanted them turned. This was the 1 inch thick finned rotors. Only problem was, one side was paper thin and the other was just the fins. He got really po'd when counter man said he couldn't. Guy said well I'll just take them down the street, they will. Me and counter man, Dave, just looked at each other and laughed. I miss Dave. Knew his stuff and how to use a book when nothing showed in computer.
 
Going back about 40 years ago I had a young wife come into our shop with a car that was overheating, running hot or something like that (don't exactly remember the cause but it was minor) in I think what was a 4 cyl overhead cam Volkswagen. She had added water but it didn't help. Turns out she added a gallon of water into the oil filler cap. We told her what she did and we'd try to flush it out. She called her husband, at work, and I heard her telling him what happened. Suddenly she pulls the phone away from her head and from far away I could hear him screaming in the receiver. She slammed it down and and was petrified and shaking for some time afterward. I drained the chocolate milk, added new oil, ran it a while then drained that out. The next oil fill ran reasonably clean and I told her that in my opinion everything would be fine and no harm was done. She was, however, now afraid to go home.
 
15 years ago, I was on a business trip. Got a call from my 16 year old son. AC pump on his car quit. In his normal analytical mind set, he had all ready contacted several repair shops and came back with a cost of $600 or so. I told him the car was too old to put that kind of money in it, and to head to the NAPA store, and ask the guys about the "4@55 conversion kit", which would be a lot cheaper. A half hour later, I got one of the first texts from him where he simply said "a__- hole". I laughed, and rightfully earned it.

The 4@55 kit, for you youngsters that don't know, is simply......roll your windows down : )
 
Was helping this farmer for a short time and was filling his tractor with diesel when heard this dog barking. At the edge of the drive laid a tire and wheel and this bird dog had his head down in the center of it. Told the farmer son think that dog has his head caught in that wheel, but if you go let the 30 lbs air out of that tire the dog could pick up wheel and all.
 
Service manager walks out into the shop shaking his head.....had a phone call from some people that had run their diesel tractor out of fuel, wondered if dumping fuel down the exhaust would prime it!
 
My Dad was going to buy a usedNew Ideal trailer mower. The dealer had two. So Dad sent me out to get the number off it. I came back and told them it was 0H10.

The neighbor across ed the road was a Doctor. He put oil in his JD two banger. But there was problem with it. As I recall it was leaking around the clutch or the clutch was slipping. Dad showed him where the full level plug was and they drain out quite a bit of oil.
 
I readly admit this is a paraphrased story I read some time ago:
Husband had to send his wife to the Implement store for a hydraulic part.
He took her to the tractor, put his hand on the part and said, "This is a
hydraulic coupler. This is what I want."
So she get to the parts counter and describes(very well and accuritly)
what she wants. The parts man asks, "Which kind, male or female?"
With out batting an eye she says, "One of each, we'll grow our own!"
 

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