Today's funny

jon f mn

Well-known Member
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I usually drive them until no one will ride with me anymore and then wait another year before looking for another one.
 
Exwife was supposed to meet her dad for coffee. As she was approaching the coffee shop she saw his truck leaving. Figuring he'd forgotten something and would be coming back, she parked and went inside. Dad was seated in a booth drinking coffee.
Wife, "Who borrowed your truck?"
FIL, "no one,why?"
It just left as we arrived."
They went out and looked, and sure enough, it was gone. Called the cops.
While they were explaining it to the first officer,a second arrived, got a description, then circled the place to leave. Called in a minute later, they'd found it, parked behind the joint.
If the cops would have checked the local hospital I'm sure they would have found the crooks being treated for excessive diarrhea. That thing would have made a great carnival ride.
 
Driver door won't open have reach across all the tools and whatever on the seat to reach the drivers door latch from the passenger side.My GMC Sonoma my cousin gave me about 5 years ago.
 
A few years ago, a local fellow parked his pickup in front of a local bank and went inside to transact some business. When he came out, the pickup was gone. Since he'd left the keys in it, his first thought was that someone had driven it around the block and parked it, as a prank.

What actually happened was this: The street past the bank in the direction the pickup was facing sloped slightly downward for the first block and then was considerably steeper for several blocks.

The fellow had also not put the shifter into "Park", and the pickup, all by itself, rolled about five blocks down the hill and came to a stop on the lawn in front of an Oerscheln's farm store. Apparently, by sheer chance there was no oncoming traffic while the pickup took its ride.
 
Lucky or blessed. My grandmother's house had a sloping drive. One time mom,my oldest sister and her son were visiting grandma. Little Timmy went out and was playing in the car, a 1963 Mercury, and shifted it out of park. It rolled down the driveway, across the highway and up the neighbors drive coming to rest against the garage door. Minor damage to the door, I had to realign the track.
 
My first job the owner was a electrician/millright. He had some livestock and had hay. Anyway the only room in his truck was for the driver. He was often. Known as the original recycler. He brought home about anything that was free. Probably had a 1000 pounds of good stuff in the cab. He was quite a guy.
 
My first job the owner was a electrician/millright. He had some livestock and had hay. Anyway the only room in his truck was for the driver. He was often. Known as the original recycler. He brought home about anything that was free. Probably had a 1000 pounds of good stuff in the cab. He was quite a guy.
 
Years ago, coming home from town late one night. I got puled over by the Sheriff Patrol. He walks up to the window and said "A little loud isn't it?" I said no I don't think so. He had me start it and rev the engine a little. Then he said "hmm must have been the vehicle in front of you." Then he proceeded to do a safety check and walk around. Lights, turn signals, brake lights, horn, (touch the little wire to the steering wheel nut to blow horn) I was afraid he mite snag his pants on the rusty metal. He even reached in to try the brake pedal. He never said anything about the garbage bags packed around the doors to keep the wind out or the propane tank and heater on the passenger side floor. Then he ask (how much longer do you plan to keep this on the road?") I said just til I can afford something better. I got stopped one other time for no licence plate. It was obscured by the trailer hitch. The Cop said "You just looked like you probably didn't have one." That old truck would start in the coldest weather when nothing else would start, and use it to jump start other vehicles. Even though it only had 65psi compression on the best cylinder. I sold the engine and trans out of it and the rest is still back in the woods.
 
These were a hoot. I had a pretty normal day till now, but now I'm going to laugh the rest of the day. Well, here's mine. My son and I many years ago, go to look for a car for him. (He 51 so you know it's been a while) I had a 94 Chevy worktruck with a 5 speed. I let him drive to let him get used to a stick shift. He did great, but when we went to a dealers lot, and got out to look and see what they had. I get out and walk one way, he get's out to the side and starts off. I look back just in time to see my pick start to roll down a slope and head for a nice van about 75 feet away. He forgot to put it in gear. I tore after it and caught it but couldn't QUIIIITE get to the door to get in. I'm hanging on to the box and sliding along and boom. Oh, sugar! Then we had to go in and tell the salesman, who saw the whole thing and kind of got a kick out of watching me try to put on the brakes with my shoes. No damage to my truck, but a nice big dent to the front of the van. I apologized all over the place, but they were very nice and said, "It happens".
 
We were moving equipment with two old pickups. I said I’m taking the two lane my partner said I’m taking the freeway. When I got to the freeway exit near home there sat my partner with a state patrol. The trooper had every item circled on the equipment violation ticket. Then he calls in the plate number and gets an answer that the truck belongs to someone 400 miles a way The trooper said boys I think you stole this truck. My partner said would I steal this? The trooper ran the number again and got my partner’s dad’s name but he didn’t notice it was from a grain truck ten years older. The trooper finally said I only saw the brake lights didn’t work-you’re getting a warning but don’t ever take this truck out on the road again
 

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