Today's funny

jon f mn · Sep 17, 2020

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JamesJTX · Sep 17, 2020

Heard everyone from my DAD.

db4600 · Sep 17, 2020

I used “Don’t spend it all in one place” and “What did you learn?”.

Tony in SD · Sep 17, 2020

My Dad was a great man. However some of his favorite sayings were heard while he was milking cows. Probably won’t post them here. Holsteins have a way of making you do things you normally wouldn’t. Interesting fact is that when I left for college at 18, so did the last Holstein.

Farmall plowboy · Sep 17, 2020

That's not just a hat rack on your shoulders.

4520BW · Sep 17, 2020

when I left for collage so did the indoor wood stove!. (it was in basement)

BhB · Sep 17, 2020

When I left for college my father bought a riding lawn mower.

JF in MI · Sep 17, 2020

I ALWAYS got a modified #10 which was the answer to EVERY question or statement; 'When I was your age we were so poor that...(fill in the blank). Examples; 'We ate dirt for Christmas' or 'we couldn't afford weather', etc.

Richard G. · Sep 17, 2020

One of my Dad's favorites was "Can't never could".

Dachshund · Sep 17, 2020

"You can (insert chore here) today, if you want to - and, by God, you better WANT to..."

miangus · Sep 17, 2020

After I left home dad bought an oil furnace.

Tgrasher · Sep 17, 2020

After I left for college my dad bought a silage unloader.

jon f mn · Sep 17, 2020

Mine said "can't never did anything ".

Tom in TN · Sep 17, 2020

And then there was the one that I heard at least a thousand times, " I know'd it. I just know'd that was going to happen."

Tom in TN

ThadS · Sep 17, 2020

It is missing "No".

I tell my kids that is my favorite word.

coshoo · Sep 17, 2020

I heard "and that's the word with the bark on it" a lot.

jal-SD · Sep 17, 2020

Which part of NO don't you understand?
Is it the N or the O?

Determined · Sep 17, 2020

Funny how well I remember this considering it was almost 50 years ago.

Our garage was not yet built so a lot of the tools were kept in the basement.

One day dad asked me to go downstairs and get the battery charger, I was a clumsy 6 year old at the time so he told me to be real careful because the battery charger could explode if I dropped it.

Off I went to get it and sure enough I tripped on the cord or my own feet (can't remember) and down went the battery charger.

Fearing the pending explosion I dove behind the furnace to take cover.

After what felt like an hour (probably a few minutes) I came to the conclusion that I must not have dropped it hard enough to set it off so I gathered it up and took it upstairs.

We laughed and laughed about it years later once I finally told him the story, if nothing else it taught me to be more careful.

Bruce from Can. · Sep 17, 2020

You’ll understand once you’ve got kids of your own . And guess what, I did !!

blueridge · Sep 17, 2020

I was the last to leave home, went into service in Dec. came home in May on leave dad had bought a new Garden Tiller and a new Mac Chain Saw. Had never had either one before. Gene

Kansasredneck · Sep 17, 2020

One of my father's favorites was" you make a better door than a window". By the time I was seventeen I would purposely stop right in front of the television while the news was on.

ArleninOr · Sep 17, 2020

When I left home they threw a big party !!!

Repairman60 · Sep 17, 2020

That is a good one! Appreciate the time you spend on these. I could add to the list but you may find a new list some day and we can all enjoy them again. Most of us will probably forget in a month or two anyway and wouldn't know the difference! Thanks again.

mark1955 · Sep 17, 2020

if you ever get in trouble at school, you will be in twice as much trouble at home, also , this hurts me more than its gonea hurt you. go and get a switch from the tree out side.

Fawteen · Sep 17, 2020

I mowed around 2 acres of grass with a 20 or 22 inch push mower from the time I was big enough to start it (around 10) until I left for boot camp.

Following Summer I came home on leave and Dad was riding around on a brand new Cub Cadet. I was a little steamed, not because Dad had the mower but because my little brother got out of pushing that Esso Bee I grew up with.

rrman61 · Sep 17, 2020

My favorite from my dad was when referring to a certain fella: “if you buy him for what he’s worth then sell him for what he thinks he’s worth you’ll be way ahead “.

Hoofer B · Sep 17, 2020

Your Dad probably used the money he saved at the grocery store to buy that mower. Bill

C.Amick · Sep 17, 2020

My dad said, "You will never learn any younger".

NEKS · Sep 17, 2020

Went home one week end and needed something. Brother said it out in the self unloading silage wagon. I said we never had a self unloading silage wagon. Yes that two wheel cart we hauled silage in. Dad never scooped it off so it was self unloading to him.

Funtwohunt · Sep 17, 2020

My dad is 91 and has dementia real bad. One of his many sayings was "That's the first time I did that again"

coshoo · Sep 18, 2020

We moved when #2 son was about 12- We had a bad push mower, and he made me an offer- If I would buy a self-propelled mower, he would take over the lawn care until he left home. Seemed like a great idea, we went to town and bought the mower, and he was good on his word. Wasn't until years later that he told me he knew he would get stuck with the job anyway, so why not get a new mower out of it?

I didn't raise no dummies. But apparently my mama did.

spacechem · Sep 19, 2020

Boy on the floor doing his homework: "Dad, where are the Alps?"
Dad reading his paper: "Ask your mother- she puts everything away."

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