Today's Funny

TOP 10 REASONS FARM TRUCKS AREN'T STOLEN:

#10 They have about 20 miles before they overheat, breakdown or run out of fuel.

#9 Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.

#8 It is difficult to drive fast with all the fenceing tools, grease guns, ropes, chains, syringes, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab.

#7 It takes too long to start, and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floor clouds your vision.

#6 The Border Collie in the back looks mean.

#5 They're too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver's side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc.

#4 The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you're being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren't cracked and covered with duct tape and cow manure.

#3 Top speed is approximately 45 mph.

#2 Who wants to steal a truck that needs a year's worth of maintenance, u- joints, $3,000 in body work, tail-lights and windshield?

#1 It is hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you

If it is a farm truck, it has stuff growing in the back------and the front.

It has a manual transmission.

#3 Top speed is approximately 45 mph
It won'i make it to 45 mph cause the front end shakes so bad at
35 mph you are scared to go any faster!

Sounds like my GMC Sonoma I run around on the farm and add the drivers door won't open from the outside so the window stays down all the time,windshield wipers don't work,heater doesn't work because the truck won't hold coolant limits me to about 10-12 minutes run time except in really cold weather(LOL).I have a back up farm truck a Dodge Dakota 4WD real nice truck except it was wrecked no front left headlight and the frame is bent a bit so it doesn't match up too well on asphalt.Both were given to me BTW.

If it does get stolen, the YTDOT will pull it over immediately, and lecture the thief about all of the YTDOT infractions. The thief will break down in tears, take the truck back, and promise to never steal another farm truck without doing a pre-trip inspection!

Pa had a joke back in the day. This MinnesOta farmer goes to a dairy convention. (Pa was on the creamery board) Sitting at the table he meets some fellow herdsman from California and Arizona. Each one of them is boasting a bit by describing their spread. The California farmer says that if he gets in his truck and drives around his spread it will take home 3 hours to make the journey. The Arizona farmer describes a similar trip taking 5 hours. The MinnesOtan has been sitting quietly because he knows he?s been bested. When the other fellows are done comparing they turn to him for his input. He answers that his spread is but a fraction to theirs, but he can sympathize with their unreliable truck cause he?s got one at home like that.

Sitting at home one night and the phone rang. it was a call from a friend of a friend and said they desired to give me their "Farm Truck".
Visions of horror ran through my mind and when asked "How much?", the answer was "Free". The wife and I said we couldn't do "Free" and she then said "$300." I figured even at $300, I could part out or scrap whatever and at least beak even on this "Free--$300" truck.
I told the wife to go down south about 70 miles and just get whatever it was towed home. I knew it was an F250 and beyond that was lost.
The wife got home with a flat bed tow truck following and dropped off a 1986 F250 with 68K.
Immaculate interior and one minor dent on the lower bed on the pass side.
I popped the hood and immediately noticed two air pumps. I looked down at the sticker and confirmed a 460 V-8.
Nothing missing or butchered as the "Farm truck" fears.
I rebuilt the Holley carb and did a lot of preventative maint on it before I put it on the road.
Why did she sell? It broke down on her on the way back from the dealer after having just been repaired. The Holley was leaking fuel when I got it.
So someone says"Farm truck" to me and I have to chuckle.
That was about 9 years ago. The truck is now pushing about 95K.
Still running.

Reminds me of the time a friend of mine's truck was stolen.

It was a construction truck, old Toyota with millions of hard miles, on it's last leg, but thousands of dollars worth of tools, all necessary for his livelihood.

He actually watched the truck go by, he was down the street at his girlfriends house. Called it in stolen, in a real panic over the loss of tools. He said whoever got it had to have a level of mechanical skill to be able to drive it, figure out how to get it started and keep it running!

Then the strangest thing, 2 days later it reappeared back in his driveway, completely intact, and a full tank of gas!

He never did find out who or what happened. Theory was someone's employee picked up the wrong work truck, realized the mistake and took it back.

Used to work with a guy who was a Bridgeport CT cop. He was out walking his dog and saw his Corvette go by (stolen). It vanished but a month later they busted a chop shop and in it was his car already cut up.

had a state highway car stolen a few year age. when reporting it the cop said "he had better be locked up because he is off in his head"

Here and all over south Texas, Crew Cab 4x4 F250 and 350's are prime targets for coyotes and drug smugglers. I've had 2 friends have theirs stolen. One had 2 F250's stolen. He works in downtown San Antonio. They seem to prefer Fords and white since Texas is heavily populated with white trucks.

Pluggers will concur. LOL
Not just Farmers trucks

a couple years ago some kids overpowered a guard and ran away from a JV home here. They took his keys but couldn't drive is car because it was a stick shift and nonoe of them knew how to drive a stick

Now I'm laughing my butt off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My wife and Jeff's two girls actually rescued a maple tree sapling growing on the back of Jeff's truck a couple of years ago and planted it in Jeff's yard after he put up his house. It's doing well, too. LOL!!!!!!!!!

when my dads fil retired in 66 he bought his farm lock stock and barrel.it came with a 47 chevrolet thriftmaster truck it had a blue cab with a grain/cattle rack. there was a grill guard on the front. the upper hinge on the drivers side door was broken and the door was tied shut with a rope you had to get in and out the passenger side. the key was broken off in the ignition switch so you had to turn it on and off with a little tail on the switch. the starter was a pedal that stuck out through the floor. the gear shift had a little lever by the knob that had to be lifted to get into reverse. the exhaust system was the manifold pointing straight down. so everyone knew when that thing came to town. the brakes only worked about 10% of the time you slowed down by downshifting and you could see the fire coming out of the manifold through the rusted out floor boards. that was a fun truck to drive.

Donald, when I did wheat and barley variety testing at Clemson, it was not unusual to find stuff growing in the front floormats if rain leaked in.
Richard

I think I saw you drive by!

Around here all you see are new trucks. Isn't a farmer alive around here would be seen in anything older that 3-4 years. I would like to have some of these "farm trucks". A lot of poor farmers picking up their government checks in new pickups.

(quoted from post at 07:28:51 12/18/18) #3 Top speed is approximately 45 mph
It won'i make it to 45 mph cause the front end shakes so bad at
35 mph you are scared to go any faster!

Click to expand...

We had a '46 Chev. 1 ton pickup when I was growing up. The king pins were worn and around 40 mph or so it started shimmying pretty bad. But when you hit 45 it smoothed out again and drove fine at higher speeds. We always joked that when it smoothed back out is when the guardian angel jumped out!

that Vintage is a bit late- but defective casting on 4 barrels used on Fords, some AMC Jeeps, a few Chryslers did leak and engine bay fires got some bad publicity. A few police cars cauoght fire, mostly light trucks had the burn problem. Jeep Dealer I worked at awhile back had Wagoneer pulled in with engine fire damage- AMC expected old Kaiser Dealer to do warantee work since AMC car dealers didn't know about jeeps, didn't have parts. Jeep dealers didn't have good carbs either, were back ordered, repair kits back ordered also. Dealer was on record of repairing and getting a out of warantee Commercial Jeep with snow plow back on road in less than a month- so obvious he had parts and mechanics, right? What we had was a customer with cash settlement in hand and no warantte meant no OEM parts needed- just get it ready and safe before snow fall- mechs and parts man (me) had contacts with hot rodders and aftermarket parts suppliers so easy enough to do- but not acceptable for warantee work on another vehicle that was in 3 month before factory rep came by with customer and blamed dealer, parts man--SO, customer got a earfull about back orders and COD on orders from factory parts warehouse for warrantee of vehicle sent by factory service rep. State attorney had alternate that factory rep could sign off on- non OEM parts and customer paid, factory reimbursed. vehicle towed to AMC dealers- ended up with another old Kaiser dealer 2 months later and I gave the parts numbers for hotrod carb kit, supplier to mech- customer was suing AMC for about full price of vehicle for get on road and possible class action suit- AMC lost a couple million. RN.