OT families

Wife and I just past 60 years old. With grown children with grandkids. How often do you get together with family dinners or gatherings? Before my mom past she insisted that the family have dinner once per month. We live in another state so we didn?t attend. She was usually disappointed because someone was always running late, and once they?d eaten, everyone would go outside. So she didn?t get to visit. What is ?normal? for your family?

We usually gather once a year in July, my parents, my four siblings and our families, and as many as my cousins (8 of them) that can come to a weekend of camping at the farm where we have people camping out, lots of food, sometimes a hayride or bonfire, and just a good time at visiting.

Never have been much on family gatherings.

The closest we ever come to family reunions is at funerals!

Never fails, someone will say "We've all got to get together for a family reunion! I'm gonna start planning it right away..."

Been hearing that since I was a kid, hasn't happened yet.

My mother's side of the family would gather a campground each year. Then about 10 years ago, they invited all of us to the gathering. Then one year they moved it to my cousin's farm. Now my sister and my cousin alternate who will host the gathering.

My two brother's and Dad and I have Boy's night out once each month. We go to dinner and then go to Dad's house to play cards and visit. Otherwise, One sister will host Thanksgiving and another will host Easter. Dad and Mom used to host Christmas. After Mom died, and Dad remarried, we will have a gathering on December 26th, at a local bar that has a gathering room and serves food.

Wife's side, not very often, just special days: Christmas, Thanksgiving, MIL,FIL b'days. My side we used to celebrate everyone's birthday by grouping them by month. With 6 in the family plus spouses,kids, nieces/nephews that meant we'd get together just about every month. Then the kids grew and got spread out over the country so now it's just Christmas and the occasional bbq (haven't had one this year yet).

Seems people are just busier these days. Two of my kids being out of state in jobs with little leisure time (attorneys), we see them at Christmas and when they travel overseas (at least twice a year) when they drop their dogs off for us to dog-sit.

I know our neighbors have their kids over for dinner every Sunday and the wife talks to them every day.

We encouraged our kids to be independent from an early age on. We've seen a lot of "failure to launch" situations around us and wanted to avoid having 30+ yr old kids still living at home. IMO, it doesn't do them any favors.

We'd like to have the kids around a little more but it is what it is and we enjoy it when they do come.

My sister and BIL come in from Texas twice a year we go out to eat etc.Most of the rest I hate to see show up usually means they're trying to borrow money or want me to help them get out of trouble.One of the reasons I'm thinking of selling and moving couple hundred miles away.Do have a 1st cousin the wife and I are good friends with.

Some of your relatives are like fish?After they are around for a short while they start to stink? lol

And some are like skunks they stink before they get in sight(LOL)

With the invention of all the electronic devises we have the days, and people are running around like a chicken with its head cut off, family time has gone away. We think we are busy, but think of our folks before us they worked much harder than any of us today. A lot of them worked from sunup till sundown. Yet they had time for each other. We have become a lazy, noncaring bunch of people that is only concern is them selves. We have two boys that never come around anymore too tied up in their own lives. Its sad but true.

Steve ..... your story reminds me of a neighbor I used to have. He always analyzed things that people said. For example, one of his good ones was what it really means when you run into someone you haven't seen in years (could be an old friend, neighbor, work colleague, relative, etc). After chatting, the guys tells you something like ..... "Hey, we're going to have to get together for a visit." My neighbor interpreted that as really meaning ..... "It's been nice talkin' to ya."

Makes sense to me.

My parents and my wife?s parents are gone now for many years. So we are on the cusp of 60 , and are the old folks. And our three son?s live near and we see them all the time. We are the younger kids in our families, and both have siblings in their 70?s. Every year we host a everyone welcome pre Christmas get together for my wife?s family, and about 30 of us have dinner at our farm house. Then at New Years, we do the same thing with my family, a big everyone welcome dinner, and usually get around 30 again. We are the only family members that have a big enough house to hold such a party. And the little kids always have to make a trip out to the barn to see calves and cows and kittens. It?s nice to see all the different families and generations interact.

Our grown kids stop by for dinner once or twice a month - nothing planned, they just stop by. It makes my wife's day every time.
As far as my siblings, I've been lucky - I'm the youngest of twelve, and we all get along really well. We operate a cider mill at the family farm in the fall, so it kind of makes us see each other. The farm house is empty since my mom passed, but very other fourth of July we have a three day reunion - usually around a hundred people - it looks like tent/camper city
Pete

What's a family dinner? And now that my parents (who lived 1000 miles away) are gone I and my sisters will not likely ever run across each other again. I am 67 and they are twins, 62, but we are all in different states and none of us likely to make a trip just to see one another.

I'm one of 6 boys.

Me in Maine.

3 in Michigan.

2 in Arizona.

Makes a get-together pretty tough. Haven't seen either of the Arizona brothers in probably 20 years. Do keep in touch via e-mail to some degree.

Try to get back to Michigan every other year or so. 3 of us get together for a couple of days, the 4th can't be bothered.

My kids,the grandchildren and the greats get together at least weekly. Of 5 siblings three of us see each other sporadically during the year. One sister lives in Vegas, so if I see her once every two or three years we are doing good. Oldest brother moved to Philly and we see him two or three times a year.

(quoted from post at 04:32:42 08/09/18) Wife and I just past 60 years old. With grown children with grandkids. How often do you get together with family dinners or gatherings? Before my mom past she insisted that the family have dinner once per month. We live in another state so we didn?t attend. She was usually disappointed because someone was always running late, and once they?d eaten, everyone would go outside. So she didn?t get to visit. What is ?normal? for your family?

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Like a typical family today my kids have scattered to the wind in search of work. One in Cedar Rapids, another in Fargo....ECT. So a monthly family get together isn't possible unless someone wins the lotto and buys a plane. And with spouses involved and them having families too that makes it even more complicated. About the time we plan something one of our kid in laws has something going on on their side.

My folks are long gone but I feel sorry for my mother in law. Christmas day my wife an I go and spend a little time with 3 of our kids and their families so we can spend a little time with grand kids. Easier for us to go to them than for them to load kids up and come to us. Each year we ask my mother in law if she would like to come with us. She declines because "someone might show up". Except sense my father in law died no one does. My wife and I stop in for a few minutes but out of 6 kids and only my wife and I bother to see her on Christmas day. Same thing in the summer. She has a lake home so she get lots of visitors who show up to use the lake making a mess and expecting her to feed them. Some of my kids go too but they take food with them and clean up after themselves. MIL won't say anything to the ones (mostly grand kids) who take advantage of her but she vents on my wife and I. And if I say anything to the "takers" I'm the bad guy.

So yours sounds like a normal family living todays dream.

Rick

My mom lives about a mile by driveway from me and I might see her every once in a while as in maybe once every 3 or 4 months but Thanksgiving and Christmas we have a meal with her and my sister and most of the times with my sisters sons but that may chance this year since my one nephew is now in the navy so he may not make it.

One of my daughters disowned me years ago but that is a story in it self and my other daughter lives in WA> s to far from me to see me much if at all

my story is like so many others on here. 3 brothers 2 sisters we all live in Il some off them I haven't seem for a while might be different now since Mrs.730 has passed with her Ms it was very hard to get many places and it was very hard on her.

It took several days for her to recover. That made it hard for both of us as she knew I would have liked to seen brothers and sisters but it wasn't worth what she put up with for the next days.

We have 6 kids, 14 GK. Two kids built on the farm, so 7 gk there, 4 more within 5 miles, 3 at 65 miles. All of our kids are good friends with each other! They help each other on any projects. This year we"re hosting the annual Labor Day reunion (wife"s side), so all the kids showed last weekend for cleanup/prep day. Coming again this weekend for finishing touches, including a re-decking. Son hosting Shotgun Sunday- family/friends gather for target shooting, some tannerite, creative demolitions, sometimes a tater gun...they just have a lot of fun. But no blowing up a microwave this time- too many shards in his pasture!