Lots of thinking

larry@stinescorner

Well-known Member
I have a lot of time to think now. I cant help but think of how I have complicated things by doing selfish pleasures.I have sheds full of stuff I should get rid of,,I have made all kinds of flower beds around our house that need maintenance.Tractors,equipment and power tools that would have to be dispersed.It doesnt seem fair to others,that one man could selfishly make a complicated mess that other loved ones may have to handle some day? As I look around and get to thinking,,this is kind of how I feel today. Its just the way I feel about myself,,and my situation,,no opinion or in any way do I mean about others,,,just the way I am feeling about myself.
 
When my Dad passed he had a kitchen table and bare utensils. One loveseat,recliner, TV, Stereo. His bed was a mattress on a frame.

He could afford better but gave all his stuff away. There was some evidence maybe he did away with himself because he was looking into the Hemlock society the year before he died. So maybe he gave his life away too. No autopsy and he did have heart issues so maybe not.

I remember thinking what a shame that he willingly lived like that and why would anyone stop living before they were actually dead? Sounds harsh but you should think about it. You are alive today and should pull yourself out of it and get on with life.
 
Make a Spread sheet of the stuff you know is solid enough to assign to someone. The second sheet should be those things that are potentially good enough to fix or paint.
With all potential recipients on the third sheet, assign them
contact them to see if they agree with the gift. If things that are nice but no clear recipient, contact your local county museum. They are almost all interested in acquisitions. Give them permission to sell or trade as they see fit. Make sure transport is their task. Some things can be sold and or donated to Public radio, or children's funds. Good luck. My family had a selection process in which the kids each selected from the list one at a time from oldest to youngest in rotation. It was fine and dandy. The remaining stuff was auctioned. Make it smooth. Jim
 
Just tell your wife what I told mine if I should suddenly die.#1 Call my friend that is an auctioneer have the auction ASAP #2 Call another friend of mine that has
a salvage.scrap metal place to clear out what didn't go at the auction.#3 Get on with her life.
 
I had an near death experience in the Navy, I quit doing anything just what it took to exist. I came to the conclusion existing is not living! Go do what you can and if you can't try anyway. Others may treasure what you've done. Don't worry about others at this time take care God Bless.
 
Maybe reach out and find someone or organization that needs tool plus someone to teach them. You not only have the equipment to use but more importantly the knowledge to use it.
Several older men always told me they wished that they could help me and i always told them it's not your hands i need it's your knowledge. As i get older i know why they appreciate me saying that and its the truth your knowledge is more important than tools
 
Well you could always put some of the stuff on CL and have lots of good stories to tell about the stuff and the people wanting to buy it.Maybe like an old fellow I knew that lived by himself back when tractor collecting was really getting going.He had a couple old tractors sitting near his house clearly visible from the road.I asked him why he didn't sell them since he never used them and there were lots of people interested in them.He told me he'd never sell them because if he did no one would stop and talk anymore.
 
This book has got me through many a rough patch. Worth every penny. Has a great method for changing how you feel.
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Larry your taking too much importance on your actions. How you did things before you battled cancer is what made you the person you where and will again be. Giving up on these things will not really improve your family's lives much if any and will make yours less enjoyable.

You always have been a person of action. For the first time you got hit with some thing that made that not possible for a long period of time. Then just as your getting over that you get hit with the flu. So you have had a rough year. You will not be able to just jump right back in. You will need to rebuild your strength of body and mind.

Now some harsh truths. The items your worrying about are not that valuable for the most part. So the money made or lost over them is not a large consideration. Second because of this it would not be hard for your family to dispose of them down the road either. Simple auction with whatever is left going to scrap. In my area you can hire it done turn key for between 10-20% commission. So actually little bother for anyone.

As for the flower beds and such. I have yet to meet any woman that would bot LOVE to have their yard fixed up like yours is. You see work and they see attractiveness.

P. S. That is why I do NOT let my wife see your posts. She does not need any help for her honey do list. LOL Perk up!!! good times are just ahead!!!!
 
I say that when I am gone my children will either say "Why did dad buy all this junk?" or "Why didn't dad buy more of this junk!!!".LOL Don't worry over your stuff someday you or your family will more than likely have an auction. At many estate sales the family has a good time, meeting other family, friends and neighbors. I like to buy stuff at sales of friends as every time I use it I think of that person. Warm weather and green grass will help you to think better. Tom
 
LARRY read jd sellers post again because that is EXACTLY what I would say!! i'm batteling cancer like you, 2 kinds, lung cancer and lymph node cancer, AND I WILL BE DAMNED IF IT WILL BEAT ME OR CHANGE MY LIFE!!! and yes I am yelling :lol: I am going to live each day to the fullest, i'm going to keep working on my MM tractors and equipment and loving every minute of it, my wife and my children are wonderfull intelligent people that I love dearly and IF something happens to me they will take what they want or need and auction off the rest! all that stuff you have accumulated larry is just another 401k for them. embrace the things you enjoy, your yard your tractors, all the items that you have got because you like them, you enjoy working with them and on them. DON'T get worrying about what if! concentrate on getting back on your feet, getting back to the farm! DON'T start selling and giving everything away you have worked hard for. get out to the farm tomorrow larry, STOP thinking about what you can't do, and start planning what you can do NOW. I will end this rant now larry (sorry) i got to get out to the shop and get the hydraulic tank out of my m-5 and get all the rotten hoses off to go in to the hyd. shop tomorow for new hoses.
 
I tell my wife, If something happens to me, funeral starts at 10:00, auction at noon. Save the church ladies some work, they only need to serve one lunch! I've got all sorts of stuff that I don't really need, but I like it, so I will keep it.
 
Larry a good friend of mine at work has had a time if it the last year. He had colon cancer and dealt with it. He is now cancer free but $hits his pants about twice a week. He says it's fine with him. " I had to take a year off and I $hit my pants a couple days a week, not a bad deall to stay alive". These are his words. he's active and wants to do things he says keep moving and look ahead not behind.
 
When I got out of the hospital last May after my bout with the big C I did not feel very optimistic about my future and I nearly gave up. I was unable to do any of my spring planting and to be honest I did not care if anything got done or not. Fortunately my family and friends stepped in and got the work done. I was still not very motivated and I had very little energy. I found it a chore to walk from my house to the shed where I keep most of my tractors and toys.

Then one day I noticed that I was feeling a little better and I began to take more interest in my farming and my projects and in July I even started haying and each day I noticed my health improving. Two weeks ago I drove 200 miles to an auction and 200 mile back home. Last week I took my truck and trailer to the auction site and hauled the tractor and some other items that I had bought back home with me.

Larry, do not give up, do not worry about what may happen if you do pass on and do not worry about your health as right now it is out of your hands. Just get up every morning and thank God for the great life that you have had and for giving you, your family and the rest of us, another day .

Remember, they told me to cheer up, things could be worse
So I cheered up and sure enough things got worse.
Just a little poor attempt at some humor.
 
Even though all my "stuff" has plowed the drive cut the wood mowed the lawn brushhoghed the field etc. I am about sure my wife would have most of it sold before the dishes were washed at the wake.
 
Yup. I had mine spread out a bit further, but hadn't thought about the lunch "8^)

I have written instructions regarding guns and some of my tools as I have grandchildren that will want them and put them to good use.

As to the rest, I expect there will be a whale of a yard sale.

A few years back, I was in a place where I was seriously considering stripping things to the bare minimum, living a very Spartan life and bracing for The End, thinking that life as we knew it was about to take a monumental nose dive. Kind of a "Super Prepper" outlook.

Never got around to it. Finally decided "Effit, I'm going to live as well as I can as long as I can and have as much fun as is legal and maybe a touch more." I'll deal with TSHTF scenarios when and if they occur.

I like Plan B MUCH better...
 
I got done with my chemo treatments at the end of May. I was in rough shape but I was determined to get myself back to normal. I have always walked or rode my bike a few hours every week. After a couple weeks I started trying to walk some. The hardest thing I have ever done was go walk a mile. It was more than I could handle. Did it again the next day and the next. After a week or so I could do it but still not easy. After another week or so I decided to try and ride my bike. That was also really hard. Could only go about 5 miles and had to go slow. Kept at it and each week increased the distance and speed. I did this every day. By mid July I was up to riding about 12 miles but still not as fast as I used to ride. By mid August bike riding was coming back to normal. I was in the shop doing projects again. I have decided that I want to get into better shape than I was before. So planning on starting to jog some when the weather gets more friendly. I have been walking about 4 miles 3 times a week all winter.

Getting back to normal takes some effort and isn't easy but well worth it. I have decided that if the cancer comes back I want to be in really good shape and ready to deal with it.
 
Larry I feel like you. I also have piles of things I will never use. The thing is the stuff is mine. Dad wasn't like me. If it wasn't used It ended up in the iron pile. When I was in the Navy Dad got rid of a lot of what I consider good stuff. Had he kept the stuff, it would still be sitting around in the way. For some reason I can't let stuff go. It may be a burden on my two daughters. I think they will be able to deal with it. Stan
 
Duane ...... I'd like you to have a talk with my orthopedic surgeon. He is totally 100% against running, a lot of people would disagree with him, but he's done countless knee replacements, including one for me 1.5 years ago. He would encourage you to walk, swim, bicycle, anything but running, especially if you tend to be on the heavy side. Guys that are 145 pounds generally don't have the knee problems that guys that are 225 have.
 
I know where you are coming from. In most cases, the wife will outlive the husband. On top of that, I am diabetic, which normally means even shorter life span. I had accumulated around 200 old tractors that I have been selling parts off of. The market this past year has been nowhere near recent years. Also, can't put my finger on it, but something inside me said its time. Last fall, I started scrapping out. I'm getting $.09 per lb which I think is pretty good. I first thought I would thin the herd, but it seems the more I haul, the more I'm ready to haul. Decided I'd much rather leave my bride another 30-40k than 5-10 acres of scrap metal that someone would probably beat her out of. I plan to still play with old tractors a little bit but not have 10 acres of inventory. It has pained me to haul some of them off when I knew there was somebody out there looking for it but Overall, I haven't regretted my decision.
 
I am pretty thin. 6 foot 5 and weigh about 195. I used to run a lot, really a lot in high school and college. I probably ran in the area of 1500 to 2000 miles per year. I am only about 25 pounds heavier than when I ran. I won't be doing anything that intense. Just a few miles a week.
 
Hey Tracy Brown. Have you called mid South Salvage in Decatur AL? Big tractor salvage yard. At least they will still part them out. They ain't too far from you
 
Most of what I'm scrapping is pretty well stripped. I scrapped some MH tractors that were straight and complete but no market for them. I put them on the web but no interest. Turned dn $250 apiece for them. They will weigh out more than that. I had a lot of letter series tractors and the market has about died out on those. Kept all my Ford stuff so far. I did sell several to other tractor people for what they weighed so they can be organ donors for a while longer.
 
Kinda sounds to me like you are living life. You must understand, you can not give up everything you have or enjoy. If you do, then what? The things I do and the "stuff" I have bring me enjoyment. Will my kids feel the same about my "stuff" when I'm gone? That's a good question. If they don't, they will sell it and do something that makes them happy. And you know what, I'm totally cool with that. Larry, you need to keep being Larry and the things you have and the things you do will keep you Larry.
 
Larry , Pain is Good, means your nerves are working and YOU ARE ALIVE , LOL ,.,. , Try rubbin Vicks Salve on those joints ,,. works for me on my feet , leg, hip joint neuropathy ,The eucolyptus seems to soak in to make the pain feel different,and different IS GOOD .You mite recall i Have survived Stage 3 Cancer after removing a foot from my colon 2 yrs ago ..Please know I always enjoy your posts . I feel We are a kindred spirit, or at the very least, the same crankie spot in Life ,. nothing works like it should ,but i really dont want to stop , and all these Life Choices or , challenges make u and me Frustrated and depressed . i shall pray for guidance .for starters, i have listed my GOOD working Massey combines and heads for 15 cents per pound with a 500 dollar premium for the ones with Perkins Diesel Engines ,hopefully they will not get scrapped ."Lead, FOLLOW , Or Get Out of The Way " is a motto i have always lived by. i am also a Bus driver in Training ,and prepping for My CDL.I have found at this time in my life I need structure , and being around kids is wonderful for the cheerful heart . Hopefully ,if i get one of the farms into CRP. i may just keep a couple dozen momma cows and drive a few public passenger tours in the summer monthes.. Ideally, I would Love to take a tag team with my B-I-L and family thru Canada along the AL-CAN Hiway up to Alaska ..A guy has to keep hoping and dreaming and looking forward to something in this life,..used to be,i couldnt wait to go to school, then get a drivers license and have freedom,which created aneed for a J-O-B ,that lead to a girl ,and Then ,the lust for s-x, led to another type of license that removed all that freedom .lOl
 
Larry You ve been given a lot of good advice. Cheer up my friend. Like I always say cheer up there are better days ahead. Richard
 
Larry,
From all of your pictures and stories, I think that over the years you've enjoyed your gardening, your tools and your tractors A LOT. And all of us here - have enjoyed it right along with you, through those pics and stories.

I don't think it was a bad way to spend your time or money... wayyyyyyy better than having spent all your time in a bar drinking and gambling. Now THAT would have been a detriment to your wife and little girl.

I pray your tests turn out GRRRRRREAT next month, Larry. Because I hope to see you gardening again and enjoying life, my friend. And I know that your wife and little girl do too.

And even if you guys end up selling the farm in PA (as you posted some time ago, that you might do that)... then you garden in Jersey. Maybe there is even some kind of community garden in your town or a nearby town - where you can go teach people about gardening.

I hope someday you will have grandkiddles to meet... and teach them to garden, teach them the names of all the flowers in the backyard, spoil them with homemade meals and treats, and play them songs on your harmonica.

Right now, like the old rock song says - you've got too much time on your hands.

Ya just hang in there... ya hear! :) :)
I think you can, I think you can, I think you can!
Go, Larry! Go, Larry! Go, Larry!
 
Look at it from one extreme to another you could rush out and try skydiving or you could sit on your rump and twiddle your thumbs.

We all need something to keep ourselves amused and keep our minds working.

Think of what you call a complicated mess a part of your legacy.

There will be many discussions of what you have and what you have done if you simply keep on going every day like you have done all your life.

In my eyes it is just plain wrong when a person starts to basically liquidate and erase all of the things that are the finger print of their journey called life.

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There once was a fella who never caroused,
He never partied or played.
Didn't drink, Didn't smoke,
From the path he never strayed.
So when He passed away they say,
Insurance was denied.
They claimed he never really lived,
So then could not have died.

When my grandfather passed, it took months to sort through all his acquired treasures. We, the grand kids went through it all. Best times for us, many memories, lots of stories. Lots of questions. We found a lot of parts for a Ford model T, and wonder to this day where the rest of it went. He had no will. We worked it out among ourselves who got what. I don't remember there being any fighting, we all just worked together.
I don't know what your family situation is, but the memories that go with all you leave behind may have a special place for your family.
 

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