Those four terrible words

NOT Carlin's list, but:

"The cows are out"


I had the bunch of heifers locked up in the feedlot, fattening up for their field trip toward the end of March. This group is soooo flighty. They managed to lift a gate off the hinges and got out into a pasture late last week. Not the worst thing, with the snow gone there is a little grass to munch on and they are still inside the perimeter fence.

So after I grained them this afternoon, I figured I'd sneak out and fix the gate. NOT. Since the gate was laying on the hot wire this morning, I unplugged the fencer to clear the gate.

Sure enough, the scardy-cow lookout spotted me, and the whole bunch took to running around the feedlot. One crashed into the tensile fence, now de-energized, and jumped right through and into the vineyard.

Took about an hour, but by blocking the end of the grape rows with loader and truck, then driving out to the other end, I got behind her and walked her toward the others. She eventually went right back through the fence, but into a lane to a different pasture. Now I was able to re-energize the fence, and open the gate to that lane. With any luck, they will all be together in the morning.

Brought it all on myself, I guess. I better secure that gate.

Seams like there is always an animal who is takes charge and decides when to take off. My dad called this cow the ring leader. I looked up the definition of ring leader. It was, the leader of a group that causes trouble. Dad had it about right. Stan

Pop wanted to get back into cowing, bought 5 heifers Black Angus, we named them Bossie Billie Bessie Bonnie, but the 5th one we called "DA## YOU!". She would break down fences, push thru gates, get onthe highway and stare down oncoming traffic .... just wanted to visit.

Dad had had a remedy for a
belligerent spirit. It was called
a load of #8s at just the right
distance. It worked every time and
you didn't have to herd them to
the gate to get them back in.
Personally I didn't give him a
bunch of sass either.
One day our old milk cow decided
everything outside the the fence
was better. We got her to go
through the gate on the third
attempt only to watch her trot
across the pasture and jump the
fence. Dad administered his
attitude adjustment and she
immediately found her way through
the gate and not stopping till she
was in the absolute center of the
field.
Ron

We have 140 weaned heifers locked in the feedlot. They are about as goofy as any cattle I have ever been around. Have had to
regather them 3 times now. They have been weaned for nearly 3 months. They are now going to spend the rest of their lives in a
pipe pen!!!

Growing up on a dairy, I heard THE COWS ARE OUT many times. Cows only got out late at night. All it
took was a car pulling in drive and honking horn late at night, I knew the cows were out. When I
was about 10 I got a motorcycle. It had a headlight, came in handy to chase the cows at night.

I was once told that cows sleep an average of 7 minutes per day, that means mine spend 23 hours, 53 minutes per day looking for a hole in the fence.

Had a neighbor who sent fence jumpers to the sale barn. Didn't matter what their bloodlines were, or how much milk they were giving. Pop thought he was nuts. Didn't take this teenager long to observe that the neighbor was sleeping soundly while we were chasing cows over hill and dale at 2 in the morning................................ (smile)

I just buy a few head of feeders a year to fatten up. Seems like every now and again I end up with some heifers to fatten. Then after a few years of not having any I seem to forget why I don't want any heifers and screw up and get a few. I always seem to be relieved when I load them up and take them on their last ride.

Good fences make good neighbors. We had a neighbor that we struggled with on the shared fence rule. His half fell into our corn field and for the most part we did the majority of maintenance. We had about a mile of fence along the railroad and at that time the RR maintained the entire stretch. A wind storm and downed trees one night gave us a quick lesson in Train v. Cow physics. After that the cows were skiddish when ever they heard the train. 1988 the lake got low enough that we had to run more fence into the lake bottom to prevent escape. We had a few that actually calved in the willows that were typically at waters edge. And finally nothing beats a good dog. The old Shepard we had had control of his kingdom and the cows knew it. It wasn't uncommon to leaves gates open when we were haying or filling silo and repeatedly going through. Dad would talk German to him and he was invaluable when cows were out. He would retrieve the cows form the back pasture on his own and could send a salesman packing with his polite smile

I like to turn the top hinge upside down on feedlot gates. Loosen the top loop,slide it down,then slide it back up on the hinge from underneath.
Even then,it's a good idea to put a piece of cable around the gate and post with a cable clamp on it to hold it there if they still manage to break something.

OK...that's funnier than today's funny. Only from the perspective of BTDT!

My neighbors bull got into my field a few times and I chased it hollering back into his own digs. It was funny in that I had to run side by side to avoid all that green junk that was exiting him while he was running. Told a friend about it at the local auction, and he told me his granddad was killed by a bull. The bull now can just stay where he is at when he comes into my field. I just smile at him.

LOL that was funny

I was scared the 4 words were "will you marry me"

Thank heavens it is just cattle out.

A gal who once worked for me said once the only time she ever heard her father swear was when the hogs got out.

That sounds like sheep. Those woolly things can almost smell an open gate.

I can think of another four words that ya really don't want to here and before the four were the three words ya never wanted to hear from your girl friend was THE RABBIT died.

(quoted from post at 07:36:42 01/28/16) Had a neighbor who sent fence jumpers to the sale barn. Didn't matter what their bloodlines were, or how much milk they were giving. Pop thought he was nuts. Didn't take this teenager long to observe that the neighbor was sleeping soundly while we were chasing cows over hill and dale at 2 in the morning................................ (smile)

Click to expand...

My uncle taught me that. Cow in the ditch, he said 'she wants to go to town, and I give my cows what they want'. Mine don't get out, ever. Now I may have jinxed myself. If they have a good disposition, and are well fed, they don't care about getting out.

(quoted from post at 09:27:53 01/28/16) I was scared the 4 words were "will you marry me"

Thank heavens it is just cattle out.

Click to expand...

I was scared it was "we have to talk". The worst four words any man can hear.

Not sure how your gate is built, but the ones with the lag end that go into wood posts, I usually face the hinge ends to each other like book ends so its not so easy to lift a gate off, horses do the same darned things and you still have 3 of the same words that have about the same meaning, darned things will always find a way that is for sure.

My first thought when I saw the heading was "While we're at it..." But "The cows are out." is worse.

As I started reading that I was thinking he might turn around and there could be some colorful stuff exiting you as you ran for your life.

Glad you came to your senses afterwards anyways.

depends on the bull of course, but an open field isn't a good place to get acquainted.

That reminds me - I can't remember if I posted an update on the lost calf.

We finally got the second one back!

My friend caught him in his trailer... and he'll kill me for reporting this, but as you guys don't know him personally... he unknowingly left one of the sliding doors unlatched on the trailer.

He got him home with his trailer - just to see the steer's face sticking out from the side of the trailer in his side mirror.

he got out of the truck - but the steer pushed the door further open and ran off into the woods again!

But, he was determined not to let it happen again - he grabbed a neighbor and they were able to track/chase him back to the pen where all the other cows were. Once he saw "his people" he didn't want to
leave.

So he's now a proud and productive member of the herd.

He had been gone over seven weeks. But he looks good. Luckily it's been a very mild winter so he had plenty to eat and drink.

Keff,

How about "you are the daddy"?

That may cause a shiver.

D.

aint that the truth ,,.went to pik up 4 at a farm yesterday , good looking angus . their 91 yr old owner passed away last nite .the family had them were all penned up nice , and ALL seemed to be tame ,,. NOT !!! while bakin the trailer up ,, one tried jumpin the pipe tube gate ,, before I could get around there to get control ,,..all 4 were back in the pasture ,.. and the gate was now 2 ft tall,.. no problem , 3 of us pulled up the gate to be good as new ,.. and 2 more went out to get the 1 cow,1 service age young bull , and 2 teenage heifers . 3 of us were left to turn them and head them into the barn .. the ground was frozen and mud slik on top ,. the pasture was a bout 30 acres shaped in a letter u , with the corral at the bottom of the U ,,. those crafty cows would get past us every time and would alternate from one leg of pasture to the other.. after about 3 fails . we decided to regroup think up a plan b , and finally considered calling it a day since it was slik as cat gut ,. then someone noticed a couple got thru the fence and NOW Were at large ,. the sheriff had been chasing them on at least 3 other occasions . and they were fenced rite next to I -265 ... so here we go again, sure did not want the sheriff and his siren and lites there scaring them up worse.. we got them all back easily in the one leg of pasture safe and sound ,fixt the fence .,, now we will wit til after the owners funeral to get them loaded out ..

Happens to my brother often enough his email address is cowzout@******.com With all his rotating pastures he has about 100 gates and often one gets left open.

I'm glad to provide a chuckle to some of you for a change, or to dredge up some "good times" memories.

As mentioned, every other gate on the farm has opposing hinges, they studied long enough to find the only one that did not. That would not have been the worst thing, to have them back out in pasture, but once that one went right through the fence into the grapes...talk about hard to chase.

I feed ground corn/beans in the converted milk parlor, and with every other bovine we have had here in the last 40 years, they will all come in to eat once I fill the troughs. Two years ago, we had one, lone "scardy cow" who refused grain, even if fed alone. She would slip in the three-sided shelter that I feed hay from the loft above and eat hay, or would stay in the pasture while the others ate grain. She was by far the smallest of the animals at slaughter time, so we kept the whole thing for ourselves, rather than a larger half. If that is grass-fed beef, I never want any part of it! The butcher actually called and asked what I had done, the carcass looked like venison from the U.P.- NO fat at all. Worst tasting crap I ever ate, we could not wait to get rid of it. Even tasted bad in a casserole.

This year I have at lest three that act just like that- refuse to come into the grain feeding area, and will sprint at highest speed whenever I show up, just running like they cannot run any faster.

The worst part is our loading plan is from the grain room- they enter and exit from the North end usually, then on loading day, close the North end door behind them, and back the truck up to the door on the South end and load them out. With these idiots, I'll never get them all in. Then the chasing begins, and no one likes that!

My initial plan for now is to load the easy ones out, then hope the smaller remainder will stick together and enter the grain area if hungry enough. That has usually worked up till now. If not, I will build a temporary facility inside the feedlot with other gates and the tractors, that has been successful on one or two occasions. Last possible idea is another local butcher will slaughter on-farm, I may have to resort to dropping one or more from a distance. As much trouble as these have been, I would actually probably enjoy that too much!

Keff,

How about "you are the daddy"?

That may cause a shiver.

Click to expand...

That would only be possible if the opportunity had presented itself. which is rare for ornery, old fat guys whose spouse loathes their existence...

Pasture I've got 12 miles from the house is on a state highway. Always got calls from the Highway Patrol or Sheriff's office about cows out. Black cows on the highway at night. Never were mine. One of the neighbors didn't know fences could be repaired, or that cows like to be fed regularly, or that some hay is better than other hay so it was always his cows. Actually he knew those things, just thought he was a lost cost operator, never counted death loss. Oklahoma is an open range state so the owner is not liable, but I can't stand one of my cows killing a family. After I rented the pasture out because it was too far away, I still get calls from the Sheriff. Apparently I was the only guy who ever took them seriously, and would put the other guy's cows back in.

Back about 25 year ago, I tried to bench press a TD9 and got laid up. The day before deer season opened, I was out exercizing
and inspecting a new loading chute the SIL had just completed. Leaving the pasture, I planned on going back down later and
doing some more work. I hung the gate chain on a nail and hobbled back up to the house on crutches. About midnight, the phone
rang. "Do you have cows? Are they black? We think they're out in the middle of the road!!!"

We sprang to action. All I could think of was that opening day was in about five hours. I climbed on a tractor and went down
for a bale of hay while Mom and the kids tried to get the herd off the road and on the pastured side of the farm. A neighbor
joined us. I came back with hay, and about half of the herd followed me back down into the pasture, but the other half took off
in a different direction, toward a development that borders my farm. At least Mom and company were in hot pursuit, and managed
to turn the leaders back across the road. I managed to get the first ones back in, and saw the lights coming through the woods.
I got another bale of hay and as that bunch came through, we got them in. The neighbor and I got a good head count, and looked
around for Mom. She finally came out of the woods cussing up a storm. She had gotten hung up crawling through a split rail
fence, and had thought she'd be found there around spring or Christmas. She also couldn't understand how the herd had gotten
through it.

I told her that it was only a few sections of decorative fencing, and was called a bald faced liar for it. Until I showed it to
her in the light the next morning. Momma weren't happy about that one, and still tries to spin the story that the fence didn't
exist and she really didn't get tied up in it. There's just a few too many witnesses still living....