You can't make this up.....

Sometimes the truth can be stranger than fiction. I ran across these while looking for something else. I'm not sure where these came from, but they sound just whacky enough to be true.

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William E. Robinson, 66, was charged with reckless conduct and discharging a firearm on someone else's property after he allegedly opened fire on a tree outside a shopping mall with a shotgun in an attempt to knock down a sprig of mistletoe. Robinson reportedly told authorities in Decatur, Ga., that he always gets ready for Christmas by shooting at mistletoe and was surprised that he was being taken into custody.

Timothy Clark probably didn't think his plan through when he allegedly shoplifted from a Wal-Mart at the same time that police were holding their "Shop With A Cop" charity event.

John Robin Whittle wouldn't let a good beer go to waste, police say. The 52-year-old ordered a beer at a bar, left to rob a bank, then returned to the watering hole to finish his brew, investigators in Pasco County, Fla. allege.

Heather Lynn Mayo called police looking for help to get her unwanted boyfriend out of her Florida apartment, but she wound up getting arrested. Her significant other clued cops into the alleged fact that Mayo was the driver in a deadly hit-and-run accident in February.

Gwinnett County, Ga. police say Trevor Jones broke into a home, then used the victim's laptop to log into Facebook. The problem for Jones, allegedly, was that he forgot to log out before he left.

Marsia Emanuel allegedly flagged a school bus in Winter Haven, Fla., boarded and beat the bus driver in front of her daughter, a student riding it already. Cops found Emanuel later at home where she dropped her underpants in front of them, they said. It's unclear what was her motive.

Police say that 87-year-old Dorothy Desjardins shot her elderly husband, Peter, after suspecting him of having an affair with her hairdresser.

Police say Wilnelia Caraballo attempted to rob a convenience store using a toy gun, but found herself on the ground when one of the clerks yelled "Palm Bay police. Get on the ground!"

Sutherland was arrested when her drug deal got interrupted by her three-year-old who fired a 12-gauge shotgun through the roof of a car in Marietta, Ga. on Sept. 6.

I read the local police reports for entertainment (the wife tells me it is stupid)
there are two that I rember best
A 56 year old was arrested for head butting his mother because she would not give him beer money. Think about how old his mother was
A woman decided to sleep on the couch for the night because her husband was so upset with her for playing the wrong cards in a card game at there friends the night before, and was awakened by her husband pulling her hair and beating her head on the coffee table and complaining about the cards she played in the card game. This dude was serious about cards
There have been many more but those stuck with me
Happy New Year
John

These aren't crimes, but they are actual headlines

There are so many stupid criminal stories, a few I remember...

Some years ago, in a town just south of me, a man arm robbed a motel. He wrote a hold up note on the back of his bank deposit slip, which he left behind.

Then there was the man who was a regular customer at a local continence store. One night he decided he needed to go rob the store. So he leaves his house, which was directly next door to the store, walks through the fresh snow, robs the store, walks back home in the snow...

And there was the man who repeatedly called 911, complaining he was out of cigarettes and beer, too drunk to go get more, needed an officer to bring him some...

Around here the old timers used to always gather Mistletoe with a shotgun.

How about the great library robbery. Some of the brothers from D.C. decided to rob a bank in Martinsburg WV. The driver told the stick-up men to rob the brick building on the corner, then dropped'em off at the corner. Yup, they held up the wrong brick building, which was kitty-cornered to the bank. So they went in & held it up, never noticing it was a library (prolly never been in one before). Patron saw what was going on & called cops, for an easy collar.

Here is a website to the type of news you are talking about

www.newsoftheweird.com/

The Waterloo paper has a column once a week on these. I think it used to be more often!

As a teenager back in the late '70's I dated a gal for a short time that I wasn't planning to marry. She had recently split up from a guy that was in jail and was going to be there awhile. One night he broke into the basement of the local police station hoping to steal his police records and got caught. Back then police records were kept in the basement of the courthouse, not the police station.

Mark

I call B.S. Everybody knows you shoot mistletoe down with a .22.

When I was based in Milwaukee, I was somewhere on the south side of the city at a store just off the south side of the freeway. While I was there, 2 guys robbed a Saving & Loan just on the north side of the freeway. They jumped into their get-away car, pulled onto the freeway and at the bottom of the entrance ramp they ran out of gas. Planning wasn't one of their skills.

I live in the Roanoke area and remember seeing this one in the paper. Cigarettes not a problem but the noisy jackhammer was a concern for her baby.

Can't figure out which is worse here, the highlighted comments, or the illogical thoughts of the woman, SMOKING A CIGARETTE, in the pic at the top.

A local man robbed a convenience store, using the hearse from his family's funeral home for a getaway car. It didn't matter because he had been buying lottery tickets there for years, and all the clerks knew him by name.

Coupla others I've heard.

One fellow went into a Federal Reserve bank in Dallas intending to rob it, not realizing that Federal Reserve banks don't have teller windows like a regular bank. When he was confronted with this, he got confused and handed his hold-up note to an armed security guard.

Another would-be bank robber spent 15 minutes yanking on the door of a bank, trying to get in, while the bank employees stood inside a window laughing at him. He finally gave up and walked off. A sign on the door clearly said "PUSH".

A student at the college I attended burglarized the county library. He got 63 cents from the overdue cashbox, cut himself on the broken window as he was leaving, and the cops followed his blood trail right back to his dorm room.

I had an employee who was a little short on cash for the week so he grabbed two paychecks instead of one. He stole the paycheck of a part time employee who was a college student at a school in the city East of the plant. So our hero now has now committed a felony for $66 (the part timer didn't work much the previous week). He decides he's going to be smart and go to the city to the east where no one would know him to cash the check. As he drives east he fails to notice names on businesses oh say like farms, meat processing plants, used car dealers and self storage units. Had he looked he would of noticed that names the on those businesses match the last name on the check he stole. Well our genius gets to the local bank and hands the check to the teller, not noticing the last name on her name plate. The teller was a bit surprised, she'd been cashing her nephew's paycheck for years and had never noticed before her nephew was black, oh wait that's not him.

I had to hire another DAF operator.

At a small town here in Southside Virginia, a man in a wheelchair held up a bank and then wheeled himself into the Goodwill Store next door, where the cops immediately arrested him. The word was that he was looking for a warm place with 3 meals a day to spend the winter.

Oh I do like this one!

What possible benefit would you receive from dating a girl you had no intention of marrying??? I say tongue in cheek LOL

A good friend is police chief in the next town. About 6 AM the day after Christmas - and while off duty - he visited the local Walmart to return a gift. Ahead of him in line when the doors opened was a guy pushing a shopping cart loaded with several obviously heavy bags. A few minutes later he noticed the guy busily feeding coins into the Coinstar machine inside the store.

On a hunch, the chief called his dispatcher to inquire if there'd been any burglaries involving change reported during the night. Turned out coinboxes at a carwash right down the street had been broken into just a few hours earlier. A carwash surveillance tape clearly showed the thief (long known to police and only recently paroled) was the same guy exchanging coins in Walmart.

The guy is once again back in jail...

The guy who married my wife's cousin isn't a mental giant by any means. After losing his license for a DUI he drives into a local gas station where his neighbor, the county sheriff, was filling his marked unit. On a side note the sheriff was along time family friend, was one of my kids god parents and the father of a very good to this day friend.

Rick