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You might be a redneck if:

T

todd hamilton

Member
Only one rule it has to be true. In my case if your dad pulled grain wagons to the elevator with a Cadillac, you might be a redneck.
 
Sure. One spring when the case SC wouldn't start and mom and dad were both at work brother tied a log chain between it and his 65 mustang. I rode the tractor. It didn't start, it had stuck valves we bent several push rods, dad was not a happy camper over that one.
 
The neighbor lady would take the back seat out of her bonneville and drive it to the sale barn to bring home her bucket calves.
 
A neighbor used his ford ltd as his farm truck for years. Feed sacks and gas cans went in the trunk and bavk seat. After he bought his 870 case he hauled 40+ gallons of diesel in it, enough to fill the tractor.
 
You use second hand pink duct tape to label the plug wires on the old 58 GMC grain truck.

Backstory: I had been fighting cheap electric fuel pumps as I had a mechanical one on order for it but it wasn't in. All of the pumps would last a few days and then quit. I would just take it in for an exchange and put on another. Then the old girl developed a miss. I was down a semi and couldn't have this truck down, too! So I grabbed some plugs I had in a jar and put them in. Off I went to the elevator. I got off the scales and started up the hill to the pit and she died. I knew right away it was that pump. I grabbed a couple Crescent wrenches and a screwdriver and switched it back over to the leaky mechanical one. In the process, all of the neighbor's in line came to see what was holding up their trip. One by one they each peered over the radiator to see me standing on the frame rails and six pieces of bright pink duct tape on the plug wires. I didn't even bother to try to explain it. Damage was done. Oh, and the duct tape was some my niece was throwing around so I stole it from her.

I'd be willing to bet those pieces of tape are on there. I haven't had a need to take them off, so they are on for the next set of miss matched used spark plugs.
 
When I lived in Spokane I had a friend who used to be a repo man. Had to go get a Caddy and it was out in a field with a disc on the back.
 
An old livestock scalper in my neck of the woods bought a new Mercury, drove it to the sale barn, bought a couple of calves and threw them in the back seat for the ride home.
 
I couldn't tell you how many times I have thrown bottle calves and 15 pound pigs into the back of a new 1996 S-10 Blazer.
 
I remember when pickup trucks were work vehicles with manual trannys and they got dirty and banged up. And they didn't come with heated seats and 4G Wi-Fi.
 
hauled 2 jersey bottle calves, in a dog crate, in a jeep Cherokee 2 different times 2 different calves.
hauled 2 feeder pigs from Ky. to Mi. in 2 large garbage cans in back of a K-car.
jumped a few cars with 2 coat hangers.
2 buddies and I dug my 73 Impala out of a snow bank using it"s hub caps as shovels.
tow bared a loaded 68 F150 with a 75 Catalina from Mi. to Ky.
patched the water tank in the house with a piece of inner tube and lots of hose clamps hooked together. to form a long band around the tank when it sprung a leak. it had lots of adjustment points, I finally changed it 4-5 years later, when the pump went out.
I have had a U.S. Mail Pail for 15+ years. Ever since someone blew up my nice new one. Kids don"t get much of a thrill banging up a 5 gallon green pickle bucket. I did have to replace it a few years ago, when the old one got too brittle.
Off hand I can"t tell you how many tractors or vehicles I own.
Do I qualify as a red neck? MTP...
 
I believe we have a winner! We used to bring piglets in the house and let them sleep by the oil burner stove when they were born in very cold weather. Dad used to pig with individual a frame sow houses.
 
I used my Volkswagen Bug for a torch cart for years. Took the passenger seat out so tanks fit in it. Tanks were out of the weather, the Bug could go all over the farm & woods roads and no torch cart to struggle with. Very handy.
 
we used A-frame sow houses also. No pigs in the house though. Would of if we needed. nothing wrong with that.

I used a car hood to move round bales before getting a 3pt spear. Just take a 2 inch ratchet strap to make sure it doesn't fall off. The hood works good for loading rocks and such that are to heavy to pick up . When I was a kid they made the fastest best sled (I) could find. The old Ford truck hoods were pretty good, plenty to hang on to and a high front, for personal body protection. You could just plow over most smaller trees. MTP...
 
Does it make me as much of a redneck that I am printing Michiganmikes ideas to use in the future?

Im all for being cheap and not having to spend money when I don't need too
 
Yup...guess I'll chime in. Does hauling chicken feed in this about once a month count?;) that's my daily driven '68 Dodge Dart.
29291.jpg
 
Definitely a redneck !

Hauled a pregnant sheep home (85 miles) in the back seat of the family stationwagon, with 2 weaner piglets on the front passenger floorboards. Used the same stationwagon with a logging chain and a 20 foot length of chainlink fencing as a drag harrows to clean the weeds off of a couple of Acres of land.

Currently have a pet Goat that lives IN THE HOUSE; & yes, she's housebroken.
 
Me and dad would tie our sheep's feet together and put them in the back of the olds stationwagon and I would sit back there with them in case they got to flopping around. Two at a time 20 mile ride to the salebarn.
 
I can remember my mom and dad going to the sale barn buying baby calves and bringing them home in his ford falcon with the back seat out. There hair would be all matted up from the calves licking them.
 
Helped my dad build a fence. Pulled it tight with a Pontiac Catalina. When it spun down, it was tight enough. This was about 1972. That fence is still holding tight.
Richard in NW SC
 
back in school a friend of mine had a f150 300-6 4 sp fwd pulled a 8' disc and spring tooth. power. stearing pumps wood go out about every 50-75 ac .that was his second tractor
 
My wife reminded me the first year we were married was winter 81/82. Very bad winter in Indiana that year. We had an old rusted out 67 impala. After getting it stuck for about the third time I opened up the trunk and shoveled it full on snow. I had to take some back out the shocks were bottoming out. When it thawed the water just ran out the rust holes in the trunk. :)
 
Last winter I had two calves in a snowstorm. They were nearly dead when I found them. I grabbed them and put them on the kitchen floor on towels. One of them I had to keep pitching her nose because she would stop breathing.

I went out and finished chores. I came in and those two were up and had rearranged the kitchen. Banging into everything and weaving around.
 
You might be a redneck if what's left of your teeth are green and you haven't had a bath since the day you were born.
Beats me why anybody would WANT to be associated with those white trash lowlifes. They must not know the same kind of rednecks that I know.
 
Todd, my dad did the same thing, a pail of pigs by the oil burner with the smell of newborn pigs and straw drifting through the house. When they were grunting and scratching around in the pail dad took them back to the sow. A gas heater is now sitting where the oil burner used to be.
 
I remember visiting my great uncle near Boone Ia. They had just moved to the farm . He was out in field pulling Manure spreader with 59 Caddy.
 
Are you a Red neck if more dogs and cats live in the house than people???? IF you pull into my drive way there will be 4-5 dogs barking at you. LOL In the summer three live under the porch. The one only comes in to eat and then wants back out year round.

I have never hauled livestock in the car. Now the pickups get that done regularly. New born calves warm up great in the back of an extended cab truck with the back seat out. I do put a piece of a corn crib panel behind the front seat. I got tired of the calves licking me as I drove. A few years ago I took two calves to the vet in town real fast in the back seat of the truck. You should have seen the looks I got going through town. LOL

My sister has a miniature pony that sleeps in her utility room at night and bad weather. She his it house broke. So I guess we all are red necks at heart.
 

I was 11 or 12 at the time. This guy my dad knew, bought a 2-story house that sat next to a swamp. He owned a lot about 2 miles down the road. He wanted the house moved. We jacked up the house put some 6 inch pipes under it. Rolled it onto railroad ties. We had 3 tractor's, 2 JD-A's and a JD-620. We started dragging it down the road. The RR ties started smoking real bad, dad thought we were going too burn the house down. He sent one of the guy's that was helping over to the farm to get a milk can full of water.We dumped water on the road in front of the RR ties as we pulled the house along. In the meantime, my brother was at the farm filling milk cans with water, the helper was was running back and forth with the pickup grabbing cans of water to dump on the road. That house still sets where we parked it all them years ago.
I was going to tell ya about the time me dad moved a trailer house "not a camper" with his 1957 Chrysler 300C. I'll tell that another time.
 
My neighbor sold a fat gilt to a guy he worked with. The guy showed up drunk in a Falcon. Wib said he'd haul it the 25 miles home in his pickup, and the guy said he'd haul it himself in his Falcon. Wib got a sheet of tin and they funneled that gilt up in the back seat. The guy left with the hog looking out the side window of the car. A few hours later, Wib and his wife went to town for groceries, and the Falcon was sitting in front of the tavern, with the gilt still in the back seat.

I've hauled feeder pigs in a burlap sack in the back seat, but never a 200 pound hog.
 
LOL I pulled a manure spreader home from an auction and a NH 273 baler behind a Lincoln Town Car and that is from a guy that lived in up state NY LOL
 
(quoted from post at 06:52:36 10/25/15) You might be a redneck if what's left of your teeth are green and you haven't had a bath since the day you were born.
Beats me why anybody would WANT to be associated with those white trash lowlifes. They must not know the same kind of rednecks that I know.
Click to expand...

Maybe most here are using the Jeff Foxworthy definition of redneck... "The glorious absence of sophistication"
 
Lol that sure is a true statement. I enjoy reading all the stories. And the knowledge here is off the charts..
 
A guy from Georgia visited this area a few years back. He says, Y'all got more rednecks in Belfort than we got in the whole State of Georgia!" Lol! The guy wasn't exaggerating much either.
 
Had a neighbor who loved dogs. I drove into his yard and we tried talking but all the dogs were barking. He said "Shut up, Mike, damn ya" and every dog shut up. I figured every dog was named Mike.

Another time he was plowing and had a small dog tied with a 10 ft rope to the back end of his plow. The dog was real tuckered out. I asked him why he had that dog following the plow all day. He said "Listen. That dog barked all night, tonight he will sleep!".

LA in WI
 
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