(800) 853-2651
SHOP NOW

Advice please

jon f mn

jon f mn

Well-known Member
Our youngest just asked to use our car to go on vacation. I'm less than enthusiastic, his mom is ok with it. Will amount to 1/3 of a years worth of miles for us on a car I just made the first payment on. Plus it irks me to provide a car for a vacation I cant afford. Maybe I'm being petty, after all as my dad used to say "go ahead and use it, it won't wear out while it's new". He is in college and worked hard all year and did well. So what do you say, let him have it for a week or not?

I should add that I have borrowed my pickup to several of my kids for projects over the years and my trailers are generally considered family trailers. So I do loan things out from time to time.
 
Nope. And just because you can say no. My oldest son ragged on me because he didn't have a car when he went to college. He paid five bucks to ride back and forth on weekends he came home. I told him to get done with college and then get a decent job and buy a new car. He did.
 
Two different thoughts on this one:

1 - Say no and explain that if he cannot afford a car of his own then he cannot afford the vacation or if his car is not up to the task then again he cannot afford the vacation

2 - Say yes due to his doing well in college as incentive for that to continue.

Either way your choice.
 
Probably lots more questions to be asked. A couple I think of right away. Who's paying for college? Who needs a vacation from college? I'd call a break from schooling - going to work!
 
Loan him the pickup that you've let the other kids borrow.


Frankly the idea of asking to borrow my dad's brand new car for any reason would have never occured to me. But then I also knew the answer wouldn't be "No", but "**** NO!!"
 
Agreed.


College life is pretty easy even with a part time job. Lot easier than any vacation I've taken with my kids.


I never took any "vacations" in college because I couldn't leave my job without quitting. Then again I haven't taken a "vacation" from a 50+ hour a week job in the last two years either - I burned all my vacation days putting up hay and taking time off for court dates with the foster kids.
 
I guess I'd be the wrong guy to tell you to say no since the youngest boy took the wife's fairly new at the time,Explorer to Pennsylvania for a week to install seating in a stadium,but you'd think this might be a good time for him to find out what the folks at Enterprise do.
 
Investment in the car is yours, not his. I helped my son learn enough about cars to replace engines. His car is now his (22yrs old) when he moved out he gave us the keys to the family cars. Much more responsible that way. Jim
 
A rental car or ail line tickets are alternatives. Rental cars can be pretty cheap if you shop around.
 
I don't understand the statement a vacation I can't afford.

Does that mean your paying for the vacation too?
 
It means if I took my car on that trip I would have bills not paid on time. At least during these summer
months.
 
The "entitlement" thing that kids have nowadays. The answer should be a very firm "NO! College isn't that tough that he needs a vacation. Tell him that he can have a vacation when he's earned all the money for that vacation, plus paid for the car that he's going to drive on vacation.

If he should happen to wreck the car while on vacation, he's just going to shrug his shoulders and leave you with the problem(s).

We wouldn't let hour cars do that even today and the oldest is 50 years old.
 
I remember asking the old man to borrow the pickup on a Sat. night to go to a dance about 6 miles away. The girl I was taking didn't mind the beer bottles and grease guns and wrenches on the floor of the old truck she was hoping for a ride to the dance. The old man said NO not by a damn sight, You can walk, So that is just what we did and it was the last time I ever seen that place again. I got the girl home and I kept right on walking and hitch hiking to a new and better life It must have worked as I am 75 now and retired. Life is great. I wonder if the hay the old man had down ever got put in the barn. LOL
 
For me it would all depend on how stressed I would feel the whole time my car was gone. If I was still stressed I may think about contributing to a rental car.I'm not good at lending things out.Rental might be the cheapest way out anyway.
 
That's a tough one. Everyone's different. We tell our kids to go to school, study hard and get a degree; then when they do that and ask for a favor we say no? I think our kids need to know that we trust them, so letting them use the car is one way to do that (generally). What's a car? A hunk of tin and four wheels. Is the car more valuable to you than what your son thinks of you? Maybe he's testing you in a way. Do you need the car?

But, OTOH, kids also need to know where the line is. That's what we do rearing our young. Sometimes you can gain trust and respect by showing that you are firm and honest even though your decisions may not be to their liking at the time.

It's a fine line. Good luck and I hope you get it right.
 
Jon, only you can answer this. You know him better than any of us, his reputation, responsibility... Since mom is ok with it, might be a peace keeper to let him use it. Assuming he's on the insurance?
 



A bunch of college kids on spring break. What could possible go wrong?


He might be responsible, but his friends are not. How much insurance do you have? Its not enough.
 
Thats something Scovy probably thought of doing something like that many times over,
just never did it. Jon damed if you do damed if you don't hope it works out good for you!
 
No..I don't know your son but I do know young people. You will only be contributing to wild behavior. Do as others have suggested, take him to "rent a wreck" and help him find a cheap set of rental wheels for his trip. In my experience, most colleges are out for the summer. Good time for your son to get a summer job.
 
Isnt Greyhound Bus co. still in buesness? I hear Amtrack is nice . I would hesitate to lend out a new car to anyone . If he,or someone wrecks the thing 1000 miles from home you are stuck with no wheels,how is your insurance? do you have a good attourney? sometimes,a "kid" in a car with out of state tags makes a good target for all kinds of different types of people, Law enforcement types,AND other criminals. If he had any "contriban" in the car, the vehicle could be confiscated. If it was me.I would say no,take your own car,the girl friends car,or the bus.
 
I always say yes to. Cars and trucks. But my pulling tractor or saddle mare. Have to think about that a while.
 
Yes. It's only a freakin' car. Tell him " you break it-you bought it". My gang can have almost anything I got. (not my $250.00 Scotch!).
 
My old man woulda said No too and while I would have been mad about it at the time, I understand why now. Just too many ways for that to go badly.
 
I have 3 sons , 28 , 25 23 . I have helped them get cars/trucks, and still help out from time to time with repairs . But , I work hard and go with out to get that what I have, they can do the same. Life isn't always easy, and if you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth, why should your kids think they were. I bet you waited a long time to buy this new car, just tell your son his day will come. That is how it goes here, and every one of my boys knows they can come to me for help if they need help, but just for a vacation....forget it. We dairy farm , and don't have much practice with time off. Bruce
 
Has everyone here scared you to death yet with a answer lol. Just tell him if its scratched when he returns youll just kill him and bury him on the back 40 somewhere. Just hope he has a good time and comes home safe.
 
Don't paint all the young people with the same brush, there are a lot of good kids out there. Its a two way street---show your kids that respect and trust has to be earned, by example and have open honest discussions with them. I think if you look hard enough, you will find a lot of good kids out there. After all, our parent's generation did....

Ben
 
Yes, (we don't know any of the variables), at least you can be assured that he is in a safe reliable car that will get him where is going safely.

On the other hand, I have lost count of all the cars I have totaled. Both, my parents and mine. I always seemed to flip and/or roll them. Whereas, my son always seems the hit objects that don't give. i.e.- trees,culverts, my gihl grinder, rivers, etc. All of those cars/trucks totaled to.
 
I'm leaning toward rental car. May not be much more than if you figure wear and tear on your new ride. Plus, if it breaks down, you aren't on the hook for replacement or repair. My 2 cents.
 
Keep in mind that kids that age are highly prone to do things for their "friends". Some other kid might talk him into letting him use the car for "a beer run", when actually they are going on a drug run! If those friends get caught, the authorities will seize that car and you will have a really tough time getting it back (if at all). In the meantime, your payments will still be due. And, of course, your insurance will not pay anything if the car was used to commit a crime (transporting dope).

Tell your son to come up with an alternative that he can pay for himself. He should be ashamed of himself for asking for more than your other kids got.
 
I loaned out three different cars to my kids or grand kids and all three were brought needing repairs. That was over 20 years ago and two of them has never moved since they dropped them off. They did borrow it for several months rather than a week. One I did fix up and sell for what it cost to fix to a third shift foreman that need a car and was down on his luck. He sold it two week later for five times what I charged him and he bought a piece of junk that let him down a few weeks later. The kids and grand kids quit asking because they knew I would say sure, the keys are in it.
We just rented a car for my step son to drive while staying here for a week. We paid the extra insurance also. No knots in my stomach or a bloody tongue from biting it to keep from causing a fight. Maybe I will live longer.
No advise given just the way I handle this stuff. You gotta live with what you do.
 
I used my Dads new 1981 Mercury to go on a vacation in July. Not because it was new but because it had air conditioning and my AMC did not. Two little daughters and a sweltering week of weather. Brought it back after a week washed and full of gas. I agree with another poster, it's only a car. what's the big deal.
 
I would allow my kids to use anything I have to help them out and move their life along.
You need a ride to work; here take my car.
Your lawn mower broke; here use mine.
Your refrigerator broke; here lets use my truck to go get a new one.

But if one of them ever came to me with a question like you have I would have to say stay home and put your money into a reliable car.

That's one thing wrong with some people.
They spend their money on things they "want"
But some how do not have enough money for the things they "need"
 
Rent. Then you have no worries about your car. If he has a credit card make him use his. Good economy cars are not that expensive to rent. I have good cars in the garage but when I take a long trip I rent. It is just easier on the nerves. If something happens to your personal car it is not away from home in a shop and you have to make a 2nd trip to get it back home.
 
Do you trust your Son? Did he do well in school. Heck let him take it. Make sure his name is on the insurance. Think of it this way he will have reliable wheels and not break down on the interstate. Have a nice quiet chat with him before he leaves. If you say no now will it cause hard feelings that will surface years from now? Its only a car!
 
Jon I am pretty much an old softy with my kids and Grand kids. I have loaned them cars and trucks to drive. So I have very mixed feelings on this issue.

I would say if your car was an older car but still dependable then by all means loan the kid the car. Since your car is "NEW" I would more than likely NOT loan him this car. This car is for your wife and you to drive an enjoy.

I would more than likely just help him rent a car for his vacation. It provides both things. HE gets a newer vehicle for his vacation. You get to keep your car in the shape you want it to be in. The cost to rent him a car for the week would not be much more than many pay for a month's car payment.

I am like some of the others on here wondering why a college kid needs a vacation??? If he has the money for a vacation while in college he should be able to afford his own set of wheels to go on this vacation.
 
JD Seller- What if he met and became friends with others in college from different parts of the country? Heck, my sister met friends in college that were from Austria and they invited her to stay and ski the ALPS.

Maybe, jon kid got an invite to stay at a friends place and it was a 'new' friend of his? I don't know. Like I said, too many variables and unknowns.

BTW, my sister went and had a great time! (Once in a lifetime chance).
 
You know your child far better than any of us. My parents allowed me to use whatever I asked but I never caused them any grief. I was respectful of their belongings. My sister on the other hand caused enough problems to count for the both of us.... Now that I'm grown I realize that I was sort of a rare child. Most teenagers cant be trusted beyond the distance that you could toss them. Most are easily bent and are willing to compromise to gain acceptance from their peers.
 
Also, my dorm-mate in college had no money or way to get home for Thanksgiving. We were in Lexington. KY and his home was Toms River, NJ.

I brought him home with me and all of us had a Thanksgiving.
 
I would assume that you are paying for college is one reason you can't afford a like vacation? I would think that is enough. Time to say no. Tell him NO and the reasons why and that it is not up for arbitration and that you are sure he will understand when he buys a new car. I guess you can't blame him for asking but neither can he blame you for your answer.
 
Have him do research and tell you what that car would rent for. Have him pay you the rent with the understanding the you will use that money for the first payment. Maybe make an agreement that if the car comes back clean and fueled you will use the money he gives you toward rent for him or something.

I have friends that started charging their kids rent when they turned 18. When they moved out they gave the kids the money they had paid to help them get started. I thought that was pretty smart.
 
Someone also metioned Spring Break. If it is truly a "spring break" type thing then your car will be returned with vomit in it .
 
Tough call, Jon.
For the most part, my gut tells me not to let him take it for a number of reasons. First and foremost s the idea of a breakdown of any sort 1000 miles from home. Through no fault of his. How would you be able to deal with that? Could be anything from a mechanical failure (YES, new cars break too!) to a collision to an over zealous highway patrol cop catching him over the speed limit and impounding the car. Overall, I would have to say no on those grounds.
The rental idea sounds like the best overall solution. Rental companies will take care of their vehicles out on the road. If it breaks down, they will send him another car and have it towed off to be fixed. Most other problems they have insurance to cover.
One thing I must question, though......
When I was at that age, I would not have even considered asking such a thing of my parents - just out of respect. I felt unworthy of asking for something that my dad worked 2 jobs to pay for and especially after they were paying for my education. Not a chance. I would have looked for my own way to accomplish the vacation or just done without,
 
college?
ok, vacation with his college friends....he is [i:e37a8e3ea9]gonna[/i:e37a8e3ea9] go...
Whether he is a good son is irrelevant.....young'uns are dumb (think back to when we were that age....)
Put a bunch of em together having fun.........really, really, dumb...

If he has been doing well and you want to help him out...pay the car rental fee.
( I'd actually borrow/creditcard the money if I didn't have it to pay that rental fee...just for the peace of mind)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Hendrik
Mothballing diesel car
Replies
7
Views
461
MarkB_MI
MarkB_MI
T
What vintage ?
2
Replies
31
Views
3K
docmirror
D
G
Ford 4000 SU Diesel. Is engine oil age an issue even if hours on that oil are low?
Replies
13
Views
275
gmcinnes
G
R
Jonsered chain saw
Replies
18
Views
719
M-MAN
M-MAN
super99
Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday
Replies
14
Views
510
super99
super99
Tractor Parts Tractor Manuals

We sell tractor parts! We have the parts you need to repair your tractor - the right parts. Our low prices and years of research make us your best choice when you need parts. Shop Online Today.

Copyright © 1997-2024 Yesterday's Tractor Co.

All Rights Reserved. Reproduction of any part of this website, including design and content, without written permission is strictly prohibited. Trade Marks and Trade Names contained and used in this Website are those of others, and are used in this Website in a descriptive sense to refer to the products of others. Use of this Web site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy TRADEMARK DISCLAIMER: Tradenames and Trademarks referred to within Yesterday's Tractor Co. products and within the Yesterday's Tractor Co. websites are the property of their respective trademark holders. None of these trademark holders are affiliated with Yesterday's Tractor Co., our products, or our website nor are we sponsored by them. John Deere and its logos are the registered trademarks of the John Deere Corporation. Agco, Agco Allis, White, Massey Ferguson and their logos are the registered trademarks of AGCO Corporation. Case, Case-IH, Farmall, International Harvester, New Holland and their logos are registered trademarks of CNH Global N.V.

Yesterday's Tractors - Antique Tractor Headquarters
Website Accessibility Policy

Back
Top