Life After Death

"DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS EMPLOYEES.
"YES, SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED.
"WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE," THE BOSS WENT ON. "AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL,
SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU!”

That sure sounds familiar..

To which the employee replied '[b:200cb4acc5]RATS![/b:200cb4acc5]' 8)

I knew a guy one time that had many deaths in the family. Dad died twice,mom three times. Don't recall how many the others died.

Sounds like Cpl Klinger on MASH.

I've heard where some people have called in and took off work for the same relative's funeral more than once.

Had a professor in college that checked the roll every day. Old Doc Jones said one day that "I can't believe that many grandparents are dying."
Richard in NW SC

Along the same line..............We had a fellow at work (quite a drinker) that called in quite often to have a tooth pulled.
They checked and he had 76 teeth pulled, and still had a mouthful left!

Man asks off to go to grandmother's funeral. Next day the boss says, "Funny thing, I could have sworn I saw you at the ball game yesterday!" Man replies, "That must have been my twin brother, he and granny never did get along very well." Boss man thinks about this for a while and calls the employee into his office. "I have an opening coming up, think your twin brother would be interested?" Employee stammers for a minute, "Well,I don't know, and we don't see each other very often, I don't even have his phone number." "Well,do you know where he lives?" "Not sure, he moved recently, but I think I know where he hangs out a lot." Boss man says, "Well, why don't you take the rest of the afternoon off and check his hangout, see if you can locate him." "OK, boss, but it may not be easy." (starts to leave). Boss says, "Take your time, just don't come back until you find him!"

Henry, "Now Klinger, don't you feel bad about all these excuses?" Klinger, " I don't deserve to be in the army"

We had a customer that told us he had 5 fatal heart attacks. It was the 6th 1-about a year later that got him. This is a true story.

hd6gtom What if he 'technically' died but was resuscitated?(After each heart attack) Could that be thought of as a "fatal" heart attack?

I don't know. Anybody got any opinions?

I took off work yesterday to bale hay. It was cloudy all day and the hay is still out there. Now it is raining, of course. Feels like I got kicked in the teeth. Grandma didn't die but my plans did.

I a had woman working on my team while doing state work in their main office, which was and still is a great and well run agency. She called in one morning, said she was quite ill, gave an academy award winning performance too. The only problem was that the furniture company called the office first, said they'd be delivering at 9am!

I had to deal with her. She was many years my senior then, quite miffed I called her out on it, she tried to take it to someone she thought was above me, I backed him off too. I'll run my ship the way I see fit. I just about fired her regardless. I gave her the ultimatum about the position, show up do the work, everything is fine, become a problem, terminated. She was on the phone constantly with her husband or troublesome teenage girls, and playing games on the computer, thankfully the internet was not connected, all within earshot of other state employees who had a much better work ethic. That was all put to a stop, some people have no clue about work ethics. I could not have this on my team, my reputation was at stake with the agency, no way I'd let this happen. Scorned was not a strong enough word given how she reacted to the straight up to the point ultimatum, but I was wrong for busting her on lying, LOL ! I stood my ground with the person she went to, she thought was over my head, I said push your luck and I'll have his job too ! Heck at the end of the project he was thrown off by a state directors rep anyways, took some team members and went golfing on company time, job was substantially complete, but not 100%, the state did not appreciate that one bit. You had best know who is in your corner when you pull crap like this.

We had a guy where I worked who had a habit of calling in sick while he was building a new house. He happened to call in one day and told the boss he was deathly ill and might be out for a few days. The boss happened to be out on the road later that day and went past the new house to see the idiot on the roof putting on shingles.

According to the boss later during a bull session, "It was the worst case of 'shingleitus' he had ever seen".....

A tale about a guy I worked with years ago.He was a big happy go lucky guy who had a bunch of girl friends.The hangar he worked in at the time was a distance from the main flight hangars so rather then come into the main hangars to punch the clock he would go to his hangar and call over to us and the boss would either clock him in or sign his card later.His acft. flew nearly everyday so after he recovered it and had it back in the hangar he'd come over to the big hangars,pick up his time card,any work orders and flight write ups and shoot the breeze with everybody.
So on this day, just before start time I was talking to the foreman and leadman when the phone rang. It was him calling in sick and just how sick he really was was.The leadman said to him "Geez I hope you're feeling better tomorrow,see you then.
My foreman was a huge Mets fan and every lunch hour he went to a local bar for 'burghers and beers.He he came back and I could tell he wasn't happy.I asked him whats up boss.He said "he" called in sick, right,I was just watching the Mets game,the camera paned the crowed and zoomed in on guess who.With one of his girl friends and laughing it up.I thought tomorrow I gotta see how he talks his way out of this one.Next day about 4:15PM in he strolls ,saying hi to all and laughing,cracking jokes.He went into the office to say hello to the boss and pickup his timecard.I jumped off my acft.and stood just outside the open door and off to one side.The boss asked him how he felt today.He said much better. Yesterday I was either in bed or hovering over the commode.Boss says "You're full of s..t.I saw you on TV at the Mets game.He says"Umm,boy that was some game wasn't it?